Lady In Red
by BrightShiningAsTheSun
Summary: (Dear Sidewalk) Gardner Langway has always been determined not to become a cliché. He doesn't look forward to seeing any of the people on his route; he doesn't engage in any way that the training manual would consider inappropriate. After all, he is nothing if not a professional. Then he met Margaux.
1. Chapter 1

How much the sidewalk had changed in just a year.

There were new paving slabs on Bleeker Street that spiralled into each other like snail shells. A pothole had been filled in on Lake Drive. Children's chalk drawings tattooed the skin of Foxglove Avenue, stretching across the breadth of the road and down along its spine.

Gardner's gaze traced the patterns beneath his sensible shoes, the rosy pinks and cool blues, following the twists and curves until he reached the intersection. His mailbag swung emptily against his hip. He was thankfully nearly finished for the day. It was almost noon and the sun was beginning to beat down against the pavement and, more importantly, him.

There was once a time, not very long ago, when he'd wondered if he would ever get the chance to carry this esteemed burden again, after he lost his job, after his first romantic tryst, after he finally let go of the past and stepped forward into a new, freer life. But here he was again.

Gardner turned onto Marigold Lane. This was not his usual route but he knew this little corner of Austin so well, every inch of it was familiar. Bright orange flowers by the roadside waved at him as he passed but he didn't stop to enjoy them.

Soon, the street narrowed and he made his way onto the sidewalk, pushing open the gate of the first house with practised finesse.

Gardner didn't see this as a step backwards. It was just a favour. He did not have his old job back, although he had a feeling he might be able to wheedle himself back in, given the time. But then, he wasn't sure if he actually wanted to.

He shook his head. _Just focus on the sidewalk._

Gardner chewed his lip as he crossed to the next house on his adopted route. It was mid-July and as usual, he had nowhere to go. So, when he met his old friends at their usual bar and Linda mentioned she was going on her first vacation in ten years, he offered to fill her shoes.

It was only temporary, a summer job to earn a bit of extra cash and to help out a friend, but as he turned onto the final house on the lane, Gardner couldn't deny just how much he'd missed this.

"Morning!"

His hand paused on the gate. Its red paint was flaking, the hinge rusted with age. He was so lost in his own thoughts that this was all Gardner could focus on for a few moments before he slowly looked up.

There was a young woman kneeling on the grass, just in front of the gate. She was smiling at him even though he definitely would have hit her if she hadn't stopped him opening the gate. Smiling was something he wasn't entirely used to from civilians. Usually, they barely even registered his presence or just gave him a polite nod, so it was a surprise to actually be addressed.

"Good morning," Gardner said stiffly.

This was his last delivery of the day and as much as he loved his job, he was eager to get home. That, and he still wasn't completely comfortable talking to civilians. They were, more often than not, more trouble than he could handle.

The woman tilted her head to the side, lifting up her sunglasses to reveal dark, intelligent eyes.

"You look different," she said, and her smile stretched into a grin.

Gardner frowned.

"We've never met."

The woman laughed.

"A lady usually comes by. Nancy, I think?"

"Linda."

He shuffled uncomfortably. This was the longest conversation he'd had with someone he didn't know in a long time.

"She's on vacation."

"Oh, wow! Nice for some, eh?"

The woman rose to her feet and Gardner resisted the urge to take a step backwards. The dungarees she wore were old and battered and spotted with what he thought might be oil stains. As she came closer, he watched her tuck the screwdriver she'd been holding into the pocket on the front. Underneath her overalls, she wore a faded red t-shirt, the same rusty colour as the gate.

Gardner cleared his throat and dug into his bag, pulling out her small stack of mail in one smooth motion.

"Here you go, ma'am."

"Oh, thank you."

Strangely, she was still smiling at him. Her accent was different. English, he thought, but edged with something else. Her dark hair was piled on top of her head in a haphazard bun and now that she was closer, Gardner found that she smelt like the flowers that lined her street.

He gave her a tight smile and began to turn away but to his great surprise, she spoke again.

"I'm Margaux, by the way."

Gardner looked back and found she'd stuck out her hand. This was very irregular. And she was very pretty. _Not that it matters_ , he thought, _but she is, she really is._

He hesitated before taking her offered hand, shaking quickly, then pointed to the letter on the very top of the pile he'd given her.

"Yeah, I- I know."

Margaux looked to where he'd pointed. There it was in black and white print: _Margaux Ersatz, 19 Marigold Lane, Austin, TX._

She tutted, annoyed with herself.

"Oh, of course."

She was still smiling. It was a nice smile.

Gardner cleared his throat, glanced down at his feet, then back up at her.

"Well, goodbye," he said quickly, then gave her a tiny, stupid, awkward wave.

"Thanks for the..." Margaux trailed off when he turned on his heel and hurried off down the street. "Post."

She watched him practically power-walk into the distance until he disappeared around the corner. Margaux chuckled, sinking back down onto her knees in front of the front gate.

"Nice to meet you."

She pulled out her screwdriver again, making a final adjustment to the bracket. It had come loose sometime last week and she'd only just got round to fixing it. She tightened the last bolt then sat back to admire her work.

The midday sun was already almost too much to handle, so Margaux didn't stick around any longer than she had to. She went back inside, still chuckling at the startled look on her new postman's face.

In fact, she thought about him for most of the day.


	2. Chapter 2

The weight of the washing machine made it sink into the earth, crushing a few flowers and most likely leaving an awful, square dent in the grass.

Margaux twisted her mouth, annoyed, and gave the machine a small kick with the toe of her shoe while its owner wasn't looking, avenging her beloved garden.

Mr. Friagiani was a smiley, round, ruddy-faced man, who didn't seem to notice her irritation. He'd been on his way to the scrapyard with it when he thought to give her a call instead.

He gave the washing machine a fond pat, as if it were the family dog.

"You sure you don't mind if I leave it with you?"

Margaux smiled, choosing to mourn her garden later.

"Don't worry, I'll have it sorted in no time."

"Thanks, Margaux. You're a lifesaver."

"Shouldn't take me too long; you can pick it up later. I'll let you know."

Mr. Friagiani thanked her again, shook Margaux's hand, then jumped back into his truck.

Margaux watched him drive off, waving when he stuck his hand out the window. She didn't know Mr. Friagiani all that well, he was the friend of one of her regulars, but he seemed like a nice man.

She turned back to the washing machine now that they were alone.

"Alright, you," she muttered, pushing up her sleeves as if they were in a good old-fashioned standoff. "If you cooperate, I might forgive you for making a dent in my garden."

The morning air was clear, the sun only just beginning to rise. Margaux found her skin covered in goosebumps as she kneeled behind the washing machine. She tied back her hair and cracked her knuckles before she took the back panel off and dove into the mechanism.

She barely noticed the time passing. In fact, Margaux was so engrossed in her work that she only stopped twice: the first was when she got hungry around ten and wandered inside to grab the biscuit tin and make herself a cup of coffee, the second was when she heard her front gate creak beneath the music playing from her little stereo.

Margaux looked up, having to stretch to peer over the top of the machine. When she saw the postman coming up the path, she immediately began to smile.

"Morning!"

Gardner jumped about a foot in the air. He span around, looking for the source of the voice, and found Margaux kneeling on the grass again.

"Good morning," he replied, his voice a little shaky.

He realised he still had her mail pressed to his chest and slowly relaxed, letting out a long breath.

Margaux felt bad for scaring him, so she tapped her spanner against the side of the metal tin sat on top of the machine.

"Do you want a biscuit? I made them yesterday."

Gardner stared at her for a moment. He wanted to decline, he wasn't in the habit of accepting gifts from civilians. Trudie only managed to get away with it because they were friends, and she was a grandmother, so she was used to divvying out food to visitors. This woman was neither of those things. But then his stomach grumbled loudly and she gave him a small, triumphant smile.

Gardner looked over his shoulder, making sure that no one was watching, then stepped closer and picked a cookie off the top of the pile.

"Thanks," he said quietly, taking a hesitant bite.

It was delicious, of course.

Margaux, that was her name. He'd been rolling it around in his head since yesterday. She had her arms inside a washing machine. It looked unnervingly complicated from where he stood but she moved between the different parts with confidence.

"Did your machine break?"

Margaux looked up and shot him a frankly marvellous grin, her red lipstick stealing his attention as she spoke.

"Oh, it's not mine. It's Mr. Friagiani's from down the road."

She gestured in her neighbour's direction, flinging droplets of oil onto the grass. Gardner took a cautious step back.

"The connector between the tub pulley and the agitator shaft is warped, so I've gotta replace it."

Gardner blinked, trying to process the jargon and failing. She sounded just like Calvin the last time he'd attempted to teach him how to fix cars.

"You're a mechanic?"

Margaux wiped her hands on the front of her jeans then rose to her feet.

"I wouldn't say that. People bring me their broken stuff, I fix it."

She reached for the little stereo sat on top of the washing machine and turned down the music. Gardner panicked, knowing that meant she wanted to keep talking to him.

Margaux grabbed a biscuit for herself.

"I don't have any qualifications; I just like to fix things."

There was a smudge of dirt just over her eyebrow from where she must've wiped her forehead with her oil-streaked hands. He almost reached out to brush it away but thankfully caught himself in time.

"My brother's a mechanic," he said suddenly, not sure why he felt the need to keep talking.

His heart did something stupid and fluttery when her face lit up.

"Amazing!"

She looked him up and down, from his funny wide-brimmed hat, right down to his sensible shoes.

"What about you? What do you do?"

Gardner frowned.

"I'm a mail carrier."

He saw her grin and realised she was kidding. He looked down at the grass, embarrassed, then suddenly remembered why he was there in the first place.

"I better get going."

He passed her two envelopes, both bills, nothing exciting.

"Thanks for the…"

He raised the biscuit, then turned and pushed open her front gate.

Margaux bit back a laugh as he stumbled slightly, clearly flustered.

"See you tomorrow," she called, watching him hurry down the street.

He didn't look back but she didn't mind. Still chuckling to herself, Margaux dove into the biscuit tin with one hand and turned up the stereo again with the other, before settling back down behind the washing machine.

* * *

The next day, as Gardner stepped onto Marigold Lane, he found his heart had picked up its pace. He tried to ignore it, tried to focus on the sidewalk to help clear his mind, but as he flitted between houses like a hummingbird between flowers, he couldn't help thinking about the girl at Number Nineteen.

He wasn't sure what it was about her, what it was about Margaux Ersatz that intrigued him. Apart from the few special people in his life, he tried to avoid all human contact, so why, _why_ , did he look forward to delivering her mail?

As he stepped off the curb to cross over to her side of the street, his heart was beating almost unbearably hard. He kept his head down as he walked up the drive of Number Seventeen, gathering all his courage. He couldn't decide if he was nervous or excited. Either way, his stomach was in knots.

All too soon, he had reached the last house on the road. Gardner was desperately relieved when he found the front lawn empty. She wasn't home.

He breathed an enormous sigh as he pushed open the front gate, mentally counting down the days until Linda came back from vacation.

His relief was shattered by a sudden chord of music. Gardner looked up, slowly, regretfully.

Margaux was sitting on her front porch listening to her stereo, sipping from a deep red mug. She smiled at the sight of him and it made his chest tighten, but then she reached over and turned up the stereo.

 _'Oh, yes, wait a minute, Mr. Postman. Wait, Mr. Postman. There must be some word today from my boyfriend who's so far away. Please, Mr. Postman, look and see, is there a letter, a letter for me?'_

Gardner nodded, giving her a tight smile as he approached the porch steps.

"Morning."

Margaux grinned, feeling very proud of herself.

"Salutations."

She turned down the stereo.

"Anything fun happen to you today?"

Gardner frowned, puzzled.

"No."

"Not yet?" Margaux asked hopefully, but he shook his head

"No high expectations for later either."

She hummed and took a sip of her tea.

"Shame."

Gardner decided not to respond and instead reached into his bag for her mail.

"Here."

Her grin surprised him. It was only a handful of letters, most of it junk mail, but she still seemed pleased.

"Thank you!"

Gardner looked over his shoulder in the direction of freedom, then back at Margaux. He swayed, his foot leaving the ground to turn to leave, but he stopped at the last moment. The pull of his home and safety were, for the first time in a very long while, outweighed by the desire to keep talking to this strange woman.

Giving into temptation, he said, "You have an interesting name."

Margaux looked up, still smiling.

"Thank you."

"Where are you from?"

"My dad's German, my mum's French. I was born in Berlin but we moved to London when I was seven. I'm a bitsa."

Margaux put down her mail and sat up in her chair. He watched her tea slosh around dangerously but didn't say anything.

"A bitsa?" he asked instead.

"Yeah," Margaux tilted her head from side to side. "Bitsa this and bitsa that."

She felt a swell of pride when she finally managed to get a proper smile out of him. It was a lovely smile.

"You still haven't told me yours."

"My what?"

"Your name, love."

Gardner felt his cheeks heat up at the term of endearment and knew he was blushing. He fiddled uncomfortably with the strap of his bag, finding it even more difficult than usual to meet her gaze.

"Gardner."

Margaux grinned, and his blush only worsened.

"Your name is Gardner and you're a postman?"

He frowned.

"Yes?"

Margaux laughed softly, shaking her head.

He realised she was kidding with him again. Everything this woman said seemed to be some sort of wisecrack. Gardner really wasn't used to strangers being so friendly.

Margaux got up from her chair and turned down her stereo, which was now playing a song he liked but couldn't remember the name of at the moment.

"I like you," she said, putting down her mug and walking to her front door.

"Thank you," Gardner replied, not sure what response would be appropriate.

Margaux pushed open her door. He thought that was his cue to leave, but she only stepped inside to grab a trolley hidden behind the door. It supported a boxy microwave, a relic from the 80s. She tugged it out onto the porch with some difficulty.

"I'd love to stay and chat," Margaux flashed him another dazzling smile, slinging her stereo inside so that no one would steal it before she locked the door. "But I have to drop this off for a lady on Friday Street."

She had made it her mission to break through the shell that her funny little postman wore. There was something about him, something she just instantly liked. She wasn't sure why, but Margaux wanted to know more about him, anything and everything. She had waited around all morning just to see him, pushing back her appointment with a customer to make sure she didn't miss him.

Gardner side-stepped out of her way, watching nervously as she dragged it down the three steps of her porch onto the lawn.

"You're gonna drag it the whole way?"

"Well, I don't have a car, so unless you're offering..."

She looked back at him over her shoulder, raising her eyebrows, but Gardner said nothing. She was only joking, once again, but this time he'd caught it. Progress.

"Don't worry, Mr. Postman," Margaux chuckled, turning away again. "I'm stronger than I look."

Gardner believed her. He remembered how she'd reworked the inner-mechanism of that washing machine with ease, how she'd twirled the heavy spanner between her fingers like a baton.

They only met three days ago but he hadn't thought about much else since. This funny woman, who always seemed pleased to see him, who asked him questions but never pushed too far, who liked to make jokes but was never cruel, Margaux Ersatz at Number Nineteen in her paint-splattered overalls, always surrounded by the colour red.

"See you tomorrow, Gardner," she called over her shoulder as the gate shut behind her, leaving her postman standing on the front porch.

He was so distracted by the movement of her red dress, the swing of her hips, that all he managed was a feeble, "See you."

* * *

Margaux made it to Friday Street in just under twenty minutes. Thankfully, the sun was hidden behind a thick layer of clouds, but she was still unpleasantly sweaty by the time she made it to Number Forty-Five.

She wrenched the trolley through the front gate, groaning with the effort. She'd put on a good show in front of Gardner but the microwave was almost as big as she was and unbelievably heavy.

Mrs. Gerrard was a sweet, old lady who Margaux had met one day at the supermarket. She'd overheard her complaining to her husband about needing a new car since theirs was always breaking down.

Margaux had politely stepped in, offering to take a look at it for them. She discovered the problem almost immediately and saved the Gerrards the trouble and money of buying a new car. Since then, she'd been their on-call handywoman.

Margaux loved it. She was always happiest when she was fixing things, it was all she was good at. She understood machines, understood how they worked, and enjoyed figuring it out when she didn't.

Mrs. Gerrard was just one of the many people in Austin she worked for. They came to her with their problems and within a few days, she handed them back, almost like new. It was the best job she'd ever had.

Mrs. Gerrard was waiting for her by the door. Thankfully, she didn't have any steps up to her house, Margaux wasn't sure she could manage the bulky microwave much further.

"Hi, Mrs. Gerrard."

"Hi, sweetheart."

Mrs. Gerrard held the door open wide for her.

"Come in, come in."

Margaux took a moment to catch her breath then swept the microwave up into her arms. She staggered under its weight at first but soon caught her footing. She leaned herself in the direction of the door and used the momentum to push her forwards into the house.

Swearing under her breath, Margaux followed Mrs. Gerrard through to the kitchen.

"You can just put it down anywhere, I'll get Jack to move it later."

Margaux thought about leaving the microwave on the floor but Mrs. Gerrard and her husband were both in their 70s and she didn't want to put them through trying to move the machine later, so she aimed for the spot on the counter where it usually sat, even if it almost took her back out to lift it the last few inches.

Mrs. Gerrard smiled, pleased.

"How much do I owe you?"

"We'll call it thirty. I had to get some parts, I'm sorry."

"That's alright, hon. You're still half the price of taking it to the shop."

Mrs. Gerrard fished through her bag for her purse, pulling out three ten-dollar bills with another smile.

"Here."

"Thanks, Mrs. Gerrard. Have a good afternoon."

"You too, hon."

Margaux waved goodbye, then made her way back out into the hallway. She pulled open the door but paused, feeling a familiar tug in her chest. She turned to look at the cabinet sat by the door.

She felt all her muscles tense, her breath stoppered by an overwhelming surge of anxiety.

Margaux bit her lip, glancing back over her shoulder. Mrs. Gerrard was still in the kitchen, setting up her good-as-new microwave.

Margaux waited. When she was certain it was safe, she slipped the tiny desk clock off the cabinet and stepped outside, shutting the door behind her.


	3. Chapter 3

The kettle finished with a snap. It made Margaux jump. She'd been staring into space for the past few minutes whilst she waited for the water to boil, trying to figure out what was wrong with the car her neighbour had entrusted her with.

She dropped a teabag into the mug, then poured in the hot water. She could see the engine laid out before her in her mind's eyes, the layers and parts separated into a schematic.

She knew she needed to replace the U-joint but it was something she hadn't done in many years. Margaux wracked her brain, trying to recall what she'd been taught as she stirred her tea.

She was only brought out of her thoughts when she heard the garden gate shut. Margaux looked up, already smiling. There he was, Gardner, walking up the path.

She waited for a moment, not wanting to seem too eager. She watched, still smiling, as he seemed to take his time walking up to the house. Was she imagining it, or was he looking for her?

She finished her tea and stepped out into the hallway, unsuccessfully hiding just how pleased she was to see him.

Margaux pushed open the front door just as Gardner slotted her post into the mailbox.

"Mr. Postman."

Gardner gave her a weak smile.

"Miss. Ersatz."

He _was_ disappointed when he didn't see her sitting in her garden. Gardner didn't want to admit it, but he looked forward to seeing Margaux, even though she made him all stuttery and nervous. Now, here she was and his heart was pounding like a piston.

Margaux thought it might seem rude to grab her mail when he'd only just posted it, so she leaned against the door frame instead. She let her gaze travel over him, taking in his standard blue uniform shirt and dark shorts. His socks almost reached his knees, for crying out loud, and yet he still managed to look good.

Margaux met his gaze again, realising too late that she hadn't said anything yet and she was very obviously staring. To her delight, Gardner's ears were a little pink, his mouth hanging open nervously.

She grinned, nodding to his wrist.

"I like your watch."

Gardner shut his open mouth with a snap.

"Thanks," he said, grateful for the distraction.

He didn't think anyone had ever looked at him the way Margaux just had and it was making him feel a little hot under the collar.

Margaux smiled, sipping her tea.

"They're fascinating little things, watches. Hundreds of years of horology crammed into a tiny mechanism."

She straightened up, starting to move her hands around as her excitement grew. Gardner found himself smiling just from watching her.

"There's this room in the British Museum that's just filled with clocks: tiny ones, pocket watches, orreries, grandfather clocks, and this brilliant thing that's like a board of wood with a groove that zigzags all the way across it? And this little marble rolls all the way round it and that marks thirty seconds and... You don't care." Margaux shut her eyes for a moment, breathing an embarrassed laugh. "Sorry."

Gardner shook his head quickly.

"No, no, I do. It's very interesting."

In truth, he _had_ glazed over a little but not out of boredom. He found he was almost hypnotised watching her talk, her clever, dark eyes lighting up as she described this room of wonders. The way she spoke, her accent, the rhythm of her voice, it was all so enthralling, he could listen to her forever.

Margaux put her hand over her face and apologised again. Her nails were bright red.

"Is that what got you into... Fixing things?" Gardner asked, hoping to encourage her to keep talking.

Margaux shook her head.

"My mum taught me everything. She's... She was a mechanic, like your brother."

Gardner blinked, surprised, not noticing her stumble. He'd just thrown it out there, offering up something they had in common. And she'd remembered. He tried not to look too pleased.

Calvin had the day off, he'd be waiting for him with lunch when he got home, and he was always irritable when Gardner was late. But despite the threat of the wrath of his brother, he wanted to stay here, wanted to keep talking to Margaux, and Gardner found himself searching for something to say just to keep the conversation going.

"My watch stopped working," he said quickly, practically blurting out the words.

Margaux made a sympathetic sound.

"Do you want me to take a look at it?"

"You'd do that?"

"Whole world goes awry when the post is late."

Gardner's smile vanished, his nerves rattled by the pang in his chest.

"You know, my job is very important."

He was tired of people not taking him or his duty seriously. He remembered how Paige had scoffed when he told her the same thing, how almost everyone he met on his route either ignored him or thought of him as the funny little mail carrier, something to laugh at. But Margaux didn't laugh.

"I know," she said softly. "For once, I'm not kidding."

She reached out and gently held onto his forearm, pulling ever so slightly, asking him to raise his arm so that she could see his watch better. She hummed, giving it a quick once over, while Gardner tried not to think about how nice her fingertips felt against his skin. She had lovely hands; her skin speckled with tiny scars from all the heavy-duty work she did without protective gloves.

"I can probably get it done in a day. I can give it back to you tomorrow?"

Margaux looked back up at him, letting go of his arm.

Gardner studied her face, trying to decide whether he could trust her. The last person he handed his watch over to threw it in the river. It wasn't expensive, it wasn't a family heirloom, but that didn't mean it wasn't important to him.

Margaux seemed to sense his hesitation because she offered him a kind smile.

"I'll take good care of it, Gardner," she promised, then held out her hand.

Gardner hesitated, just for a moment, then took off his watch.

"Thank you."

He laid it across her palm and Margaux immediately closed his fingers around it, making sure she wouldn't drop it.

She nodded back into the house, pushing the door open a little wider.

"Fancy a cuppa? Kettle's just boiled."

Gardner wanted to say yes more than anything in the world, but he couldn't desert his brother.

"Thanks," he said, smiling apologetically. "But I have to get going."

Margaux waved him off.

"No worries. Take care, Mr. Postman."

"You too, Margaux."

She stepped back inside, waving with the hand that held his watch, as if it too were bidding him goodbye.

Gardner huffed a laugh, looking down at his shoes. He couldn't remember the last time he felt this way, out of his own head, just happy being happy.

Margaux gave him one last smile then disappeared back inside.

He was fairly certain she lived alone, it was only ever her name on the front of the letters he gave her. Gardner felt a twinge in his chest. He wondered if she was lonely.

* * *

When Gardner got home, he was several minutes late for lunch, but Calvin hardly noticed. He was still busy at the stove, a little behind himself. He was singing obnoxiously along with the radio when Gardner seated himself at the kitchen table but stopped when he saw him.

"Oh, no. I know that face."

Calvin pointed at him with the wooden spoon he was using.

"What happened? Was it that dog again? I can talk to the owner."

Gardner wondered what face he was talking about. He shook his head.

"Rex is fine. We came to an agreement."

Calvin turned back to the stove with a quizzical frown.

"Then what is it?"

Gardner looked away, his leg beginning to bounce nervously. He knew there was no getting out of this now, but he _had_ hoped he could keep his secret to himself for a little while longer.

It didn't seem so long ago that he was sat in this very spot, telling Calvin about the woman in the house with the yellow door. He wanted to take things slower this time. Margaux was so different, so interesting, he wanted their meetings to be just theirs until he could figure out what he was feeling. But Calvin was giving him that look.

"There's a girl."

Calvin brightened, like he'd just said he'd brought him a present

"A giiirl?"

He put down his spoon, drawing out an excited, curious sound, whilst Gardner rolled his eyes.

"Excuse me while I turn down this simmering pot and turn my attention to this one."

Calvin leaned against the counter, flipping a kitchen towel over his shoulder.

"Did you meet her on your new route?"

Gardner hesitated, then, "Yes."

"You're getting a habit."

"It's not a habit." Gardner glanced away. "She… Surprised me."

"Is she pretty?"

"Very."

"Your age?"

When Gardner scowled, Calvin grinned right back.

"What's her name?"

"Margaux."

"With an 'ot'?"

"An 'aux'."

"Ooh la la. What do you know about her?"

"She fixes things."

"I'll bet she does."

" _Machines_."

"She got your watch?"

Gardner looked down at his arm. There was a pale band around his wrist where his watch used to be. Of course, Calvin had noticed, he always did.

"She's a mechanic, of sorts."

"A girl after my own heart."

Calvin turned up the flame on the stove again, stirring whatever simmered within.

"So how many times have you seen this wonderful mystery lady?"

"Just four. So far."

"Can I meet her?"

"No."

"You seeing her again tomorrow?"

Gardner smiled at the thought.

"Yes."

Calvin said nothing for a moment but his raised eyebrows and mischievous smirk betrayed that he was still mulling this all over. When he didn't say anything, Gardner thought he might've gotten away with it and almost let himself relax, but then Calvin grinned.

"I should bake her something."

Gardner could only laugh.


	4. Chapter 4

_It was so dark._

 _She looked down and she couldn't see her own hands in front of her._

 _The rain, just the rain, so loud it was almost deafening. It smacked against the roof of the car, the muddy ground, collecting on the roads until it ran in streams._

 _A flash of artificial light, the shriek of metal, then, echoing across the empty fields, a cry for help._

Margaux woke with a jolt, sitting bolt upright in bed. She scrabbled at the sheets, bunching them up in her hands as she called out to the empty room. Silence settled heavily on her shoulders.

Margaux pulled in a deep, shaky breath, closing her eyes for a moment as she came back down to earth.

It was still dark outside, the sun hadn't even begun to rise, the birds silent in the trees.

She laid down, pressing her hand against her forehead as she waited for her heart to slow. She was sweating but she felt cold all over, every one of her nerves jangling.

Margaux sighed, shaking her head. She should probably be used to this by now.

* * *

"Gardner, hi!"

Margaux beamed at him from the front porch as he shut the gate behind him. Gardner wondered if she spent every morning sitting out here. He could imagine her basking in the morning sunlight, enjoying her first cup of tea of the day, her hair all messy, her smile wide.

He wanted to ask her about it, wanted to get to know her just that little bit more, but Margaux had bustled him across the porch and through the front door before he could even say 'good morning'.

"Come in, come in. Make yourself at home."

She immediately offered to take his bag for him and Gardner found himself handing it over without a second thought. He watched as she carefully hung it over the bannister, making sure it was safe with a gentle pat which he found incredibly endearing.

"Do you want a cuppa? Coffee? A beer?"

"It's 11:30."

Margaux grinned.

"I'm just trying to be accommodating, Gardner."

He slowly began to smile back, still not completely used to her sense of humour, but he was getting better.

He stood in the hallway, taking a moment to just soak in his new surroundings. Margaux's house was small but homely. There was a pile of shoes by the door and several colourful coats and jackets thrown over the bannister. It looked a lot like her, a little messy, bright, interesting, but wrapped in warm greens and blues rather than her signature deep, burning red.

Gardner began to thank her for taking a look at his watch but he was distracted by something wrapping around his ankle. He looked down to find a cat weaving between his legs, black and white and very friendly.

"Oh, ignore her, she's gonna pretend that she hasn't been fed in weeks." Margaux tutted. "Don't believe a word of it."

The cat meowed up at him as he bent down to scratch its head.

"Makes a difference from being yelled at by a dog," Gardner said quietly, distracted by his new friend.

He hadn't spent much time with cats but this one seemed friendly enough.

"That's Ada. Her brother should be around here somewhere."

"What's his name?

"Isambard Kingdom Brunel."

Gardner looked up at her with a grin.

"That's a _great_ name."

Margaux had never seen him smile like that before. It lit up his face, making his hazel eyes shine. His cheeks were soft and pink from the sun, the slight creases by his eyes making her heart thud.

"Thank you," she said, grinning too now. "I thought so."

Gardner gazed around him. Strangely, everything was cluttered and yet somehow, it didn't appear messy. It wasn't often he felt completely comfortable in new places but Margaux's little, untidy home was incredibly inviting.

"I like your house. How long have you lived in Austin?"

Margaux tilted her head to the side.

"You're very nosey today."

"Sorry, I-"

"I'm kidding, Gardner."

Margaux smiled that soft, gentle smile of hers, gesturing for him to follow her.

"I like questions, keep 'em coming."

Gardner hesitated, then followed Margaux as she led him through the house. He tried to take in as much as possible without appearing rude. They passed by the kitchen and the living room but he didn't have time to get a proper look.

"I moved here... Seven years ago?"

Margaux's stomach twisted. She hadn't realised it had been so long.

"I was nineteen and adventurous, and I have an aunt in the next town so..."

She looked back at him over her shoulder.

"What about you? You from here?"

"I've lived here my whole life. I've never left."

"Never?"

Margaux stopped outside of a closed door, right in the very back of her house.

"Well, that's alright. It's nice here. In Austin, I mean. I can see why you stay."

She opened the door, pushing it as far as it would go, and asked him to step inside with a grand wave of her hand.

Gardner stepped into the centre of the room, turning in slow circles so that he could take everything in.

Margaux's workshop was small but not cramped, and well-lit so that she could see what she was doing. There was enough room for a wide workbench by the wall, scratched and stained, and there were engine parts scattered across it, all completely foreign to him.

Margaux watched as he tilted his head up, his gaze moving around the room with wonder. It was only her little workshop, nothing special, she didn't even have any advanced equipment, just whatever she could get from the local shop, but she was pleased that Gardner seemed intrigued.

She let her gaze follow the line of his jaw, angled wonderfully as he arched back, then down the length of his neck, lingering on his Adam's apple.

He made a sound in his throat, a surprised sort of 'hmm' that made Margaux meet his eyes again, worried that she'd been caught. But Gardner was smiling at the sight of his watch, resting on a small cushion to keep it safe amongst the sharp tools that also crowded her workbench.

"How long have you been fixing things?"

"Since I was little."

Margaux was glad he was distracted and didn't notice her smile slip.

"My mum wanted me to have a skill under my belt just in case things went south with whatever I decided to do. Turns out, what I wanted to do was fix things. So that worked out pretty well, I think."

Margaux shut the door behind her and moved towards her workbench. To get round all the equipment that filled the room, she had to slip past Gardner, pressing close against him with a quick 'sorry, 'scuse me'.

Gardner could feel his face burning and hoped he wasn't bright pink.

"What about you?" Margaux asked. "Have you always wanted to be a postman?"

"Carrier."

"Sorry. Have you always wanted to be a postman carrier?"

She shot him a grin and Gardner shyly returned it.

"I've never really thought about doing anything else. But this is only temporary. I'm still figuring things out."

"Aren't we all." Margaux shrugged. "Nothing wrong with that. If you're happy, you're happy."

Gardner stared at her, stunned. That must have been the first time someone apart from Calvin had said he was fine just the way he was. He knew it was good to try new things and get out of his comfort zone but he liked his job, he liked his town, he liked his life, and he didn't think there was anything wrong with that.

"This thing was seriously waterlogged. What did you do? Wear it in the shower?" Margaux asked, not noticing his stunned expression as she rubbed a cloth over the watch's face.

Gardner let his fingertips graze the top of an arcane machine laid out on another table.

"Someone threw it in the river."

Margaux pulled a face and made a disgusted sort of noise that made Gardner look back up again.

"That's an awful thing to do," Margaux scowled. "What a bastard. Who would do that?"

He laughed, not sure whether to agree or not. He liked how honest Margaux was, in what she said and how she said it. It didn't occur to him that it was the first time he'd ever laughed about what happened last year. Enough time had passed that he could look back on last summer without feeling his gut twist and he hadn't even noticed.

Margaux carefully passed him the watch and Gardner took it with two hands, turning it over so that the face glinted in the artificial light.

The second hand was ticking again, beating a steady rhythm he'd felt lost without. She'd even replaced the strap, which had been wearing thin even before Paige took it. It looked good as new, better even.

"Thank you, Margaux," he said, giving her a genuine, soft smile that made her heart thud. "How much do you..?"

"Oh, nothing." Margaux waved him off. "Don't worry about it."

"But this is how you earn a living."

She gestured for him to give the watch back and he did so without hesitation. Margaux carefully took his left hand, turning it over so that she could wrap the watch around his wrist.

Gardner gazed at her, taking in the little details of her face that he hadn't been able to see before. There was a tiny scar on her top lip, and some green in the brown of her eyes. She smelt faintly of engine parts and metal, just like Calvin did when he came home from work, and of something soft and flowery, like the marigolds that lined her garden.

"Call this one a favour."

Margaux's hands paused and she flicked her warm gaze up to meet his, her bottom lip caught between her teeth, either from concentration or from habit, he couldn't be sure. Her fingers rested just above his wrist and Gardner worried she'd be able to feel how fast his heart was beating.

Slowly, Margaux began to smile and she let go of his hand.

"It was an honour, Mr. Postman."

Gardner knew his face was bright pink so he looked down at his watch, hoping she wouldn't notice.

"Thank you, Margaux," he said, his voice coming out a lot softer than he intended.

His heart sank when he saw the time. On Fridays, the Pecan Lane Philatelic Society met up a little earlier than usual. If he didn't leave soon, he wouldn't have time to shower and change before the meeting began.

But he didn't want to go, not yet. He enjoyed Margaux's company. She had this way of talking, this air about her that made him want to be near her all the time. Gardner could waste away the whole day talking to her, but he couldn't let his friends down.

"I have to get going."

He might've been imagining it but he thought he saw a flash of disappointment cross her face, but then Margaux waved her hand again.

"Don't let me keep you."

"No, no, you're not," Gardner said quickly. "I like..." He choked, stumbled, and rethought his words. "I just... I have a prior thing."

Margaux raised her eyebrows, smiling.

"You got a party?"

Gardner nervously shifted from foot to foot, reluctant to tell her about the meeting. But then he remembered what Margaux said yesterday, how sincere she had been when she talked about his work, how genuinely interested she seemed to be in him.

Gardner ducked his head, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

"My friends from work, we have this club."

Margaux's face lit up.

"Oh, well, I'm sorry, Gard, but you're not going anywhere until you tell me everything."

Gardner was so surprised by the nickname, he didn't realise he was telling her about the Pecan Lane Philatelic Society until he was done.

Margaux couldn't stop smiling if she tried. Every single word Gardner said just made her melt. She couldn't understand it, no one had ever made her feel so warm before, she felt happy just at the sight of him. And now he had a stamp club. He got better by the minute.

"That is the sweetest thing I've ever heard," she said, feeling her heart stumble when Gardner bashfully looked down at his watch again. "Please, don't let me make you late."

Margaux bustled him out of her workshop, closing the door behind her, then back through her house to the door.

Gardner stooped to scratch Ada's head before he stepped outside into the warm afternoon air.

Margaux stayed inside, leaning against the door frame, her cat weaving between her ankles.

"Have fun." She gave him a little wave. "Take a photo of any cool stamps you find, I'd love to see them."

Gardner paused on the porch step, one foot frozen in mid-air. He turned around to face her, frowning.

"You... You want to see my stamps?"

Margaux shrugged.

"If they're important to you, they're important to me."

Gardner's lips parted slowly, not sure whether he was more surprised or confused.

He made to leave again but only got halfway. In fact, he turned away several times before he finally made up his mind.

Margaux thankfully didn't see any of this, she'd already started to close the door, but he called out to her just before she disappeared from sight.

"Margaux, would you..?"

She stopped and opened the door again, still smiling.

"Yeah?"

To his dismay, Gardner's courage faltered. He could practically hear Calvin making fun of him as he back-peddled.

"Do you, uh, have a card?" He winced, hating himself for not thinking of something better. "My brother's got some things that need fixing, so I thought..."

Margaux shook her head.

"Oh, no, sorry, I don't."

Gardner nodded, mentally kicking himself for not being brave enough. He raised his hand in a little wave and stepped off the porch.

"But I can give you my number? You can call me if you ever need help with anything?"

Gardner felt his heart plummet inside his chest. When he turned around, Margaux had disappeared back inside.

When she emerged again, he still hadn't quite recovered. She stepped out into the sunshine and took his hand, quickly scribbling her phone number on the inside of his palm.

When she met his gaze again, there was a glint in her dark eyes, as if she knew exactly what kind of effect she had on him, though perhaps that was just his imagination.

"Call me anytime, Mr. Postman," she said, then turned and slipped back inside.

Gardner stared at her front door, then down at the palm of his hand.

He floated home in a dreamy haze. It wasn't until he walked through the front door that the reality of what happened finally dawned on him.

"I got her number."

Calvin stuck his head around the kitchen doorway.

"What?"

Gardner leaned back against the door, his eyes unseeing.

"I have... Her number."

"What!" Calvin squeaked. "How did that happen?"

"I'm not sure."

Gardner looked down at his palm, worried he'd sweated the number off, but no, there it still was, printed on his skin.

He looked up at his brother.

"I... I need to sit down."


	5. Chapter 5

The local supermarket was far too busy for anyone to be comfortable. Saturday mornings were for lie-ins, for taking it easy, having a late breakfast and loafing around in pyjamas, but Calvin had got it into his head that he just _had_ to recreate this recipe he found in a magazine and acted as if the world was going to end if he didn't do it right away.

Gardner just wanted to go back to bed. Calvin had dragged him along to help carry all the ingredients home and he wasn't pleased. The weekends were the only time he ever got to sleep late and now that he'd moved into the house permanently, he enjoyed his lazy days in bed, listening to the radio and organising his stamp collection.

Still, he supposed it was nice to spend some time with his brother, even if he was being desperately indecisive about whatever he was making.

Gardner picked a jar of something green and swimming in brine off the shelf and turned it over. He pulled a face when whatever it was bumped against the glass and turned to show Calvin, but he was distracted by the shelves upon shelves of spices before him.

Gardner sighed and turned to put the ominous-looking jar back on the shelf but almost dropped it when he heard a familiar voice. He looked round just in time to see a familiar figure pass by the end of the aisle, a flash of red.

Gardner immediately began to panic. He wanted to pretend he hadn't seen Margaux and hide until one of them left the shop, but no matter how he tried, he found himself drawn towards her.

He followed the sound of her voice until he reached the end of the aisle where Calvin was trying to decide between two identical oranges.

Gardner lost sight of Margaux and felt his heart sink, disappointed and relieved all at once. But then there she was, just a few feet away, piling apples into her basket.

"That's her."

Calvin looked annoyed that he'd interrupted his train of thought but perked up when he realised what he'd said. Any mention of a 'her' was always worth his attention.

"What?"

His head bobbed like a chicken's as he looked around.

"Her who?"

" _Her_ ," Gardner hissed, not-so-subtly nodding in the right direction. "Margaux."

Calvin immediately stopped what he was doing to stare at her, much to Gardner's embarrassment.

"Oh, _that_ her." He whistled, impressed. "She is _fine_ , Gard."

Gardner flushed, hitting his brother's arm.

"Calvin, _please_ , she'll hear you."

"You're right, you're right, don't wanna step on your toes."

Gardner rolled his eyes. He moved to walk back down the aisle, trying to keep out of Margaux's eye-line, but then his brother shot him a wide grin. He knew that look. This wasn't going to be good.

Calvin stepped into the middle of the produce section and cupped his hands around his mouth.

"Hey, Gardner!" He called, loud enough for the whole shop (and more importantly Margaux) to hear him. "Gardner, have you found the peaches yet?"

"Calvin, no!"

Gardner moved to grab his brother's arm and pull him out of sight when-

"Gardner?"

His heart thumped against his ribs, surprised and excited and nervous all at the same time when he found Margaux standing there, smiling widely at him.

"Margaux."

He let go of Calvin's arm and took a step back, hoping she wouldn't ask why he'd been about to throttle his brother.

"I almost didn't recognise you without your shorts," she said with a grin that made a pink blush start to creep from his cheeks, down his neck.

Calvin looked expectantly between his brother and the woman at Number Nineteen. When Gardner didn't say anything, too tongue-tied to even say 'hello' properly, he decided to step in.

"Nice to meet you, Margaux. I've heard a lot about you."

She frowned, surprised.

"You have?"

She looked at Gardner, beaming as he tried to stutter through an explanation.

"Hey, Gaux? Is there a difference between cream cheese and soft cheese?"

A man rounded the end of the aisle, his gaze fixed on the small tub of cheese that was perplexing him. He was tall, much taller than Gardner, and annoyingly handsome. Gardner felt his heart sink as he approached but tried not to let his disappointment show.

When he realised Margaux had company, the man gave them an apologetic smile.

"Oh, hey."

"Gabe, this is Gardner," Margaux said, then shot him a grin that made him melt. "He carries postmen."

If her introduction surprised Gabriel, he didn't show it. Perhaps he was used to Margaux's sense of humour, or perhaps he just wasn't listening properly. He gave them a small wave.

"Nice to meet you."

Gardner could feel his brother's stare burning holes in the side of his head. He was relieved when Calvin stepped forward to introduce himself because he still couldn't get his tongue to work properly.

"I'm Calvin."

Margaux brightened, placing him at last.

"You're Gardner's brother! I've heard a lot about you too. It's nice to meet you."

Gardner felt Calvin clap a hand down on his shoulder but he was altogether too stunned by this whole experience to react. All he could do was stare at Margaux and let Cal do the talking.

"You talk about me?" Calvin laughed. "That is my brother to a T, just chatter, chatter, chatter."

Margaux glanced at Gardner, still catatonic. She gestured to the man still gazing worriedly at the tub of cheese he'd picked up.

"This is my cousin, Gabriel. We're just doing some shopping for my aunt."

"Cousin," Gardner repeated dumbly, feeling relief wash over him like warm water. He couldn't keep the grin from his face. "That's great. Really great to meet you."

Gabriel gave him a politely confused smile.

"You too."

He gently took Margaux's basket from her and nodded in the direction of the tills.

"I'm gonna go pay for these."

Gardner felt his heart sink all over again, disappointed that she was leaving so soon. As nervous as she made him, he loved talking to Margaux, loved the way she looked at him, the way she made him feel. Usually, talking to girls left him a sweating mess; Margaux made him feel ten feet tall.

He began to say goodbye, consolidating himself with the thought that at least he'd see her on Monday, but as her cousin left with their shopping, Margaux stayed where she was.

"I missed you this morning." She gently nudged his arm. "I've got used to seeing you every day. How's the watch?"

Gardner nodded quickly.

"Good. It's great."

Calvin looked between the pair with thinly-veiled exasperation. Though he knew Gardner would chastise him for it later, he cleared his throat, interrupting the little moment they shared.

"Do you like Skee-Ball?"

Margaux blinked.

"Sorry?"

"Skee-Ball. You know..."

He mimed throwing the ball and almost knocked over a pyramid of cereal boxes, making Margaux laugh.

"I dunno, I've never played."

"You should come to Betsy's Bar, that's where we always play. They do two-for-one cocktails on Thursdays. See you there some time?"

Gardner could only gawk at his brother and almost told him to _shut up, please, shut up, shut up right now, oh, my God,_ but Margaux laughed again.

"Yeah, alright. Sounds fun."

She looked over her shoulder at the sound of her name and saw Gabriel standing by the door, ready to leave. She sighed and turned back to the boys with an apologetic smile.

"I have to go. But it's been nice to meet you, Calvin."

She met Gardner's gaze and, feeling brave, she gave him a wink.

"See you on Monday, Mr. Postman."

Gardner summoned a faint smile, giving her a little wave he regretted even as he was doing it.

"Bye, Margaux."

She chuckled at the look on his face and began to follow after her cousin.

"Remember, Skee-Ball!" Calvin called after her.

Margaux span around, walking backwards, and traced a cross over her heart.

"I will!" Then to Gardner, "You'll have to teach me how to play."

Too stunned to reply, he just nodded, but that seemed to be enough.

Margaux gave him one last sweet smile then followed her cousin out of the supermarket.

Gardner watched her walk away, still processing all that had just passed between them. When he'd gathered his senses, he turned to his brother.

"Did you just... Ask her out for me?"

Calvin shrugged.

"Well, you weren't going to."

* * *

Margaux slid into the passenger seat of Gabriel's battered, old Ford Ranger, grumbling when she accidentally trampled one of their shopping bags under her feet.

"Who were those guys?" Gabriel asked.

Margaux smiled to herself.

"My postman and his brother."

She sat back in her seat, waiting for him to start the engine. When he didn't move, she looked up and found Gabriel giving her a dubious look.

"What?"

"It's kinda weird that your only friends are your mailman and his brother."

"Well, I only just met his brother, so it's just Gardner really."

Gabriel sighed. He checked his reflection in the rear-view mirror, running his tongue over his teeth, and Margaux barely stopped herself from rolling her eyes.

"You should put yourself out there more, meet some people your age, have fun."

Margaux turned away to look out of the window, gritting her teeth.

"Just drive, Gabriel."


	6. Chapter 6

Gardner barely had his hand on the front gate before he heard the music curling towards him through the warm, morning air.

 _'Like a fool, I went and stayed too long, now I'm wondering if your love's still strong. Ooo, baby, here I am, signed, sealed, delivered, I'm yours!'_

Margaux grinned at him from her usual spot, her feet propped up on the table she was sat at. A pair of red, heart-shaped sunglasses shielded her eyes from the morning sun.

He couldn't stop smiling, even if he wanted to. This girl was something else.

"Hi, Margaux."

"Good morning, Mr. Postman."

She removed her feet from the table and turned down her music in one smooth motion, still grinning at him. Gardner didn't think anyone had ever looked as pleased to see him as Margaux always did.

"I have something for you," he said before he lost his nerve.

He dug into his mailbag, turning a little further than necessary to hide his pink face.

"From my brother."

He pulled out the slightly squashed orange and cinnamon cake that Calvin had baked over the weekend.

"He's embarrassing but a really good baker."

Calvin had pressed it into his hands just before he left the house, insisting that he give it to Margaux. Gardner was too afraid to ask if he'd decided on a whim that his latest creation should be a gift for the lovely lady at Number Nineteen, or if he'd planned it all along.

Margaux could hardly believe her eyes as he passed her the wodge of cake wrapped in Clingfilm. She couldn't remember the last time someone had given her a gift.

"That's... That's so lovely. God, it smells great, Gard."

She raised her sunglasses so that she could look at him properly.

"Tell him thanks for me. And thank you for delivering it."

"It's my job." Gardner shrugged, shooting her a rare, confident smile.

Margaux was so stunned, both by the gift and his lovely smile, that she couldn't help stepping forward and quickly kissing his cheek. Gardner stared at her in surprise and she panicked for a moment, afraid she'd been too forward, but then he began to smile, his cheeks pink.

Trying to hide how relieved she was, Margaux smiled back, raising the cake and nodding towards her house.

"I'm gonna eat this right now. Do you want some?"

Gardner didn't get a chance to reply. Margaux hopped over the front step and disappeared inside.

He hesitated, hand nervously clutching the strap of his bag. Gardner could hear her clattering around in the kitchen. He almost chickened out, but the promise of spending more time in Margaux's company gave him the courage to push open the door and step inside.

When he found his way into the kitchen, Margaux had already cut up the cake. He couldn't help laughing, it was only a small cake but instead of cutting off a couple of slices, she'd split the whole thing in two, half for him and half for her.

"Hang on, lemme get you a cuppa," Margaux said, moving rapidly around the kitchen between cupboards and drawers as she fished out two mugs and the teabags.

Gardner watched her move with a fond smile. He couldn't be sure what it was, perhaps the excitement in her voice as she chattered away, asking him how he liked his tea, asking about his route, but Gardner got the distinct impression that Margaux didn't often have company.

Again, he wondered if she was lonely.

She pressed a mug into one of his hands and a plate in the other, asking if he wanted to stay in the house or sit outside.

It was a nice day so they decided to head back out onto the porch. Instead of sitting at the table, they plonked themselves down on the bottom porch step.

It was the first time she'd appeared nervous. Usually, Margaux was extraordinarily relaxed, lounging about like a cat on a warm day. A small part of him wondered if it was because of him but it was drowned out by the much larger, rational part of Gardner that almost didn't want to believe that someone could like him like that.

She smiled at him, that bright, wonderful smile that made Gardner feel like the most important person in the world, and said,

"I like your hat."

"Thank you."

Margaux's smile grew when Gardner self-consciously touched the brim of his uniform helmet.

"I like, uh..."

Margaux chuckled as he trailed off.

"It's alright, Mr. Postman, you don't have to return the compliment."

"I wasn't going to."

"... Right."

"I mean-" Gardner huffed, embarrassed. He struggled to hold her gaze as he said, "I was going to say, I like _you_."

Margaux stared at him for a moment, her lips parted in surprise.

Gardner's heart was in his throat. He almost apologised and took it back but then her shocked expression was split by an enormous smile.

"Right," she said again, biting her lip to try and hold back her grin but with little success.

Gardner's face felt so hot, he had to take a sip of his drink, which he forgot was still steaming. He burnt his tongue and tried to play it off like he was just enjoying his tea, but he had a feeling Margaux saw right through him.

He sighed, keeping his gaze on the floor for a moment while he tried to formulate what he wanted to say to her in his head.

Margaux waited patiently. He loved that about her, how she always gave him time to say what he wanted, never interrupting or speaking for him. There was a lot he loved about her, but he pushed that thought to the back of his head for another time.

"Linda's back from vacation tomorrow," he said at last, his gaze flicking back up to meet hers. "Today is my last day."

Margaux's smile disappeared. She didn't even try to pretend that she wasn't disappointed.

"Oh."

She looked down into her tea, turning the mug around in her hands a few times when she felt the urge to fidget.

"That's a shame. I like seeing you every day."

Gardner smiled softly, looking down at the ground again. She was so close, her side against his. Even through his two shirts, he could feel the warmth of her.

"What are you gonna do now?"

"What?"

Margaux cracked a smile but it didn't quite meet her eyes.

"Now that you're not a postman carrier anymore."

Gardner's forehead creased as he frowned, his nose wrinkling.

"I don't really know."

"Well, the world's your lobster, Gardner. You're smart and kind, you can do whatever you want to do."

Margaux sipped her tea and leaned back against the steps. She gazed at him, her funny new friend, wondering what it was about him that made her feel completely and utterly at home for the first time in years.

"I want- If it's alright, I'd still like to see you," he said hurriedly, as if he wanted to get it out before he stopped himself.

Margaux's lips parted in surprise; Gardner tried not to stare.

"Me?"

Smiling, he nodded.

"You."

Gardner wished he could understand why Margaux looked so astonished. He almost panicked, thinking he'd said something wrong.

How could he know? How could he know just how long it had been since anyone had told Margaux they wanted to spend time with her? How long it had been since anyone had cared about her? Since she had a friend?

She looked away, pressing her lips together. Although her little street was alive with activity, people cycling by, birds singing in the trees, cars roaring in the distance, the silence that fell over them was all-enveloping.

When Margaux finally replied to him, there was no smirk on her face, no clever looks. For the first time since they met, there was just gentle honesty.

"Well, I'm still not entirely sure what Skee-Ball is but I'd love to try it."

Gardner brightened considerably. He didn't think she'd agree in a million years.

"You and me and Calvin?"

"Sounds fun. Thursday?"

When Gardner nodded enthusiastically, Margaux laughed, looking much more like her usual self.

She finished off her tea and rose to her feet.

"I have to get going, I've gotta drop this toaster off for someone on Turner Way."

Gardner waited on the front step whilst she disappeared back inside to grab the toaster. When she reappeared, Margaux was shoving the last of her slice of cake into her mouth with so little decorum that he couldn't help laughing.

"That cake is gorgeous, Gard. Please thank your brother for me."

He stepped aside so that she could tumble down the steps in her usual rambunctious way. He followed Margaux to the front gate, holding it open for her, and she thanked him, grinning from ear to ear.

"Can I walk with you?" Gardner asked, feeling extraordinarily brave all of a sudden. He'd do anything to spend just a little more time with her. "We're going in the same direction but you can say no if you-"

"As if I could ever say no to you." Margaux gently cut him off before he got himself lost in an apologetic jumble of words.

She readjusted her grip on the boxy old toaster, closing the gate behind her with the toe of her shoe.

"Come on, I wanna hear about these stamps."

As they began to walk, the warm sunshine on their backs, Gardner hesitated before finally starting to list the stamps they'd exchanged at last week's Philatelic Society meeting.

He spoke slowly at first, uncertainly, just waiting for Margaux to tell him that she was only kidding and she actually couldn't care less, but she didn't. In fact, she held his gaze as often as she could, listening intently and only interrupting to ask questions. Soon, he was almost breathless as he described his favourite stamps and the history behind them.

"Did you know the first adhesive postage stamp was made in England?" he said, thinking she'd be interested considering it was part of her adopted country's history. "It was called the Penny Black and was first issued on May 1st 1840."

"It had Victoria on it, right?"

"So you do know."

Gardner smiled nervously, more than a little flustered by the thought.

"I prefer the way you tell it," Margaux reassured him. "What else you got?"

Gardner looked down at the sidewalk, hands in his pockets.

"People usually ask me to stop."

Margaux came to a halt suddenly, frowning.

"I'm not people."

She nudged his arm, almost dropping the toaster in the process.

"Gardner, I could listen to you talk all day. Come on, tell me more about this collection of yours."

"You could listen to me all day?"

"Come on, we both know I think you're God's gift."

She started walking again, leaving him stunned. Actually, he didn't know that, but her sudden confession made his heartbeat pick up.

Gardner watched Margaux walk away. He swallowed thickly and followed after her, the feeling of her lips on his cheek still as clear as if it had just happened.


	7. Chapter 7

The post office did not feel the way it used to, or rather, it didn't make _Gardner_ feel the way it used to. After seven years of service, he knew this little building like the back of his hand. It once felt like a second home, part of a larger whole made up of small pieces of Austin. Now, it was just a building.

The only good thing about it was that he got to see his friends. As usual, Dale, Strawberry and Linda were already in the staff room when he arrived. They all greeted him with bright smiles, especially Linda, who even hugged him as she thanked him for taking over her route for her while she was away.

She handed him a tiny statue of the Eiffel Tower, a souvenir from her travels. Gardner smiled as he turned it over in his hands, pressing the pad of his thumb against its pointed top. He thought of Margaux and his smile grew.

"How'd everything go? Any problems?"

Gardner slipped the little statue into his pocket for safekeeping, shaking his head as he crossed the room to the coat rack.

"No, no problems."

He carefully hung up his old uniform. He'd forgotten to return it last time, when he was let go. He was surprised he didn't get an angry letter from the United States Postal Service. Perhaps Mr. Hassler had taken pity and didn't report him.

Gardner remembered how his old boss had apologised for having to ask him to leave, calling him 'son' which he hated. He hadn't seen Hassler since. Linda had organised her cover and no one had kicked up any fuss. Gardner wondered if he should talk to him while he was here, or if he should just leave and never look back.

He smoothed his hands down the front of the freshly ironed shirt, feeling the familiar material under his palms for the last time. He felt a stab of sadness, nostalgia. This job had carried him, given him purpose and direction when he was feeling lost. But maybe it was time to find something new.

"You make any friends?" Linda asked, seating herself at the table.

Even Gardner understood that it was a thinly-veiled jab at his eventful last summer.

"Linda," Dale hissed, a warning.

"What? The kid deserves a little fun, don't you think? After, uh..." She trailed off, unsure how to put it delicately. "What happened."

Dale gave her a pointed look.

"Gardner probably doesn't want to talk about that."

"It's okay," Gardner said quietly, turning around to face his friends. "I did actually."

"What?"

"Make a friend."

Linda raised her eyebrows, happily surprised.

"Which house?"

"Nineteen Marigold."

He smiled, subconsciously brushing his fingers against his cheek where Margaux had kissed him yesterday.

To his surprise, Linda began to laugh. Beside her, Dale and Strawberry were smiling. She wiped the tears from her eyes, her laughter still catching like the worn-out clutch of an old car.

"Oh, you poor son of a bitch," Linda said, trying to catch her breath. "Boy, she'll eat you for breakfast."

Dale and Strawberry gave 'ooo's of approval.

Gardner couldn't help thinking he wouldn't mind that at all.

Linda was still shaking her head, not sure whether to feel proud or exasperated.

"This the girl who's always out front fixing something?"

"Yeah, that's her job."

"This girl, you should see her," Linda said, turning to her friends. "She's beautiful and handy with a wrench."

More 'ooo's of approval made Gardner's face feel hot.

"You do have a type don't you, kid," Strawberry laughed, sipping his coffee.

Gardner scowled, but he was more embarrassed than cross.

"Margaux's nothing like-"

He regretted it the moment the words left his mouth. Everyone fell silent. They all knew exactly what he was about to say before his mouth caught up with his brain.

Gardner's scowl softened then disappeared altogether. He hadn't spoken about Paige since they broke up. Well, he supposed they were never really dating, so they didn't break up.

Still, it was an uncomfortable topic. His friends weren't sure how to talk about it, no matter how amicable their parting had been.

"So you like her, huh?" Dale smoothly picked up the conversation again. "You gonna ask her out?"

Gardner's heart thudded. He realised he was smiling.

"I already have."

He felt his face heat up when they all exploded into cheers.

"Fast mover!"

"Atta boy, Gardner."

"Where're you taking the lucky lady?"

"Me and Calvin are teaching her how to play Skee-Ball down at Betsy's."

He frowned as their smiles vanished and his friends all suddenly groaned.

" _Skee-Ball_?"

"With your _brother_?"

Linda shook her head.

"That's not exactly a hot date, kid."

"It's not meant to be a date," Gardner said quickly, trying not to sound too defensive. "We're just... Hanging out."

He winced as his words fell flat, landing heavily at his feet.

It _wasn't_ a date, they _were_ just hanging out, but it was painfully obvious to everyone, including himself, that he wouldn't mind at all if it was.

"Listen," Linda sighed. "If you wanna get your damn leg over, you're gonna need more than Betsy's Bar and arcade games."

Gardner sucked in a sharp breath that made him choke slightly.

"Okay," he said, his throat suddenly feeling tight. "Great seeing you guys again." He hurried towards the door, glancing back at Linda to quickly add, "I'm glad you had a good vacation."

He left the room, only ducking his head back round the door to politely add, "See you on Friday."

He was moving so quickly in the direction of the exit that he didn't realise he wasn't alone in the corridor. He walked right into Mr. Hassler.

"Gardner!"

His old boss seemed surprised to see him but he greeted him with a friendly, if thin, smile.

"How're you doing, son?"

He saw Gardner glance away and made to apologise, remembering what he'd said the last time they spoke, but Gardner answered him before he got the chance.

"I'm doing okay."

He scratched at his jaw just for something to do with his fidgeting hands. Something about seeing his old boss again made him feel a little sick.

He hated that they'd parted on such bad terms; Hassler had been a good boss, taking Gardner under his wing when he was still just a kid and teaching him everything he knew.

Still, he couldn't forget how callously Hassler had let him go. Seven years of good service, always going above and beyond his duty, his record spotless, and a few little mistakes had been enough to get him the sack.

For someone who seemed to see himself as a father figure, Hassler had turned him away when he needed guidance the most. Gardner supposed he should be used to people letting him down by now.

He gave Hassler a faint smile that didn't meet his eyes then turned to leave, but he stopped him before he could get too far.

"You know, I've been thinking..." Hassler pressed his lips together, choosing his words with care. "It really hasn't been the same around here without you. Maybe I was a little hasty when I asked you to leave."

Gardner's gut twisted.

"You're giving me my job back?"

"Well, no, not as such," Hassler said quickly.

He saw Gardner's shoulders sink and tried to ignore the cold guilt in the pit of his stomach.

"You've been a real help this last week. We might be getting more funding when the new financial year starts. You could come back on a part-time basis? See how it goes?"

Gardner clenched his jaw, forcing himself to take a moment and think before he gave his answer. He'd always thought he'd spend the rest of his life treading the sidewalks, bringing people their mail, but now that he'd had a year to think about his future, he wasn't so sure.

Was going back the easy option? He missed his friends, he missed his route and the pavement and all the simple, little things he loved about being a mail carrier, but things were different now. _He_ was different now.

"Can I think about it?"

* * *

"Margaux!"

She looked up from the clock on the mantelpiece, a gold carriage clock with intricate hands and a clear face so that you could see the cogs of its heart turning.

"Where'd I put my damn wallet? Have you seen it?"

Kevin was rattling about in the kitchen. He was one of her regulars, around sixty with a long white beard, a musician just like her brother. Perhaps that's why she liked him so much. Or maybe it was because most of the time, he talked to her as if he didn't like her very much. It was very endearing.

"Why would I know where your wallet is?" Margaux called back, moving to lean against the kitchen doorway so that she could watch him search.

"I thought you knew everything," Kevin grumbled, rifling through all the clutter on the counters and, to her amusement, the cupboards too.

"I'm not a bloody mind reader, Kev."

Margaux watched him struggle for a few moments then smiled.

"Have you checked by the back door?"

Kevin looked reluctant to take her advice but he disappeared through the doorway. She could still hear him muttering under his breath as he went to the laundry room to check.

When he came back, his eyes were narrowed, his wallet in hand.

"Thought you said you couldn't read minds."

Margaux's smile grew.

"Spooky, eh?"

Kevin shook his head, delving into his wallet to pull out a small stack of bills.

"Will fifty do?"

As he spoke, he gestured towards the fridge Margaux had come over to fix that morning.

"Oh, no," Margaux raised her hands, shaking her head. "No, Kev, that's way too much."

"No, come on. I insist."

"I already had the parts, it was only a quick fix."

"Please, Gaux. You've been a big help."

Kevin pushed the money into her hands, giving her a rare smile.

"Take it. Have some fun with your friends."

Margaux felt a pang in her chest but forced a smile. She thanked him quietly, folding the money with care.

"I should get a wriggle on," she said quietly, looking down at her feet for a moment before she gave him a more genuine smile. "Till next time."

Kevin said his goodbyes with his usual gruffness but made sure to thank her again one last time.

Margaux saw herself out, stopping to leave half the money he'd given her on the hallway table before she left the house.

She closed the screen door behind her, humming a tune under her breath as she slipped the rest of the money into her pocket beside the guitar capo she'd taken from the mantelpiece.


	8. Chapter 8

"This was a bad idea."

Calvin smiled when he saw his brother fretfully peer at the door again, even standing on his toes to get a better look over the heads of the other people in the bar.

"What? No! C'mon, Gardner, it's gonna be great!"

It was early in the evening, just past seven, and Margaux should be arriving any minute.

Calvin and Tracy were waiting patiently at the bar, already on their second drink each, but Gardner couldn't sit still.

He smoothed down the front of his shirt, pulling at the hem, hoping it covered his soft middle well enough.

"Do I look okay?"

Tracy smirked as Gardner ran a hand through his hair for the twentieth time that evening.

"I thought you said this wasn't a date."

"It isn't."

"I'm kinda glad," Calvin grinned at his girlfriend. "It'd be awkward if it was and we were here."

"It's just a night out," Gardner said, though he sounded as if he was just as much trying to convince himself. "Just four friends hanging out."

"Then why are you sweating so much?"

Gardner paled.

"Oh, God, am I?"

"Gardner!"

They all turned to see Margaux waving from across the room.

The moment he saw her, Gardner's heart lifted in his chest. He probably could've done a much better job of hiding just how happy he was to see her but he couldn't help it. As she carefully moved through the crowds towards them, he found he was holding his breath.

"Sorry," Margaux breathed out a huge sigh once she joined them, resting her hands on her hips. "I hate being late. You guys alright?"

Margaux's face was flushed, she'd obviously run part of the way, and her dark hair was sticking up at odd angles. Gardner had never seen her wear it down before.

He knew he should try to talk, he knew he should be listening as Calvin introduced Tracy, he knew he should be doing anything other than staring at her like an idiot, but then Margaux's gaze met his and she gave him a small smile meant for him, just him, and he knew she was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

"It's good to see you again." Calvin took the reins, sensing that his brother needed help.

Gardner still hadn't said anything but that wasn't out of the ordinary, and to Calvin's surprise, Margaux didn't seem to mind either.

"It's good to see you too."

Margaux beamed at them all, then dug into her bag.

"This is for you. To say thank you for the cake."

She brought out a slightly battered tin, patterned with purple and yellow stripes.

"Sorry, they're not gonna be nearly as nice, your baking skills are far superior."

When Calvin opened the tin, he found it was filled to the brim with brownies. He grinned and immediately took a bite out of one, thanking Margaux through a mouthful.

Tracy took a brownie too then grabbed her drink from the bar.

"You ready to play?"

When Calvin cheered, she laughed and led him through the crowd to the games room, leaving Gardner and Margaux alone.

He met her gaze, offering her a shy smile which Margaux returned, though she wasn't nearly as bashful. He realised he still hadn't said a word to her. He wasn't sure if he could. Margaux looked so beautiful in her red dress, giving him that smile that made him melt.

"Hello, stranger."

She gently bumped her elbow against his, giving him another wonderful smile. Gardner hoped she didn't see him shiver at her touch.

He still wasn't sure what it was about her, what it was about Margaux that just made everything feel alright. She had this way of looking at him, this gentleness that let him know he didn't have to worry about her getting bored when he spoke too much, or confused when he didn't talk at all. Gardner knew she was just happy to be with him.

"I've missed you. Three days is a long time to go without seeing my favourite postman."

Gardner had never been so relieved that the lights in the bar were low. He could feel his face heating up, so he turned and grabbed his drink, to hide his face behind it and to cool himself down.

Margaux watched him sip his ludicrously decorated drink. She was trying to hide just how pleased she was to see him but she couldn't help herself.

She _had_ missed him. She missed seeing his happy little smile as he marched up her garden path, and the way she could make him blush with just a look, how sweet and gentle he was, but still serious, attentive, always eager to keep the conversation going.

"How does Linda measure up?" Gardner asked once he thought he'd got his face back to a normal colour.

He hadn't, but Margaux didn't mind. She didn't mind at all.

"She's a fantastic mail carrier, exemplary in fact."

Margaux turned away to order her own drink, shooting him a grin.

"But she doesn't have your smile."

Then the barman asked what she'd like to drink and Gardner was left feeling hot under the collar, his knees a little weak.

Underneath her smiles, Margaux was nervous too. She wasn't sure what tonight was. A part of her hoped it was something close to a date, but Gardner had invited her to hang out with him and his brother. But then, Calvin had brought his girlfriend.

She didn't mind either way, Margaux was almost embarrassed by how much she wanted to spend time with Gardner, she didn't care if it was a romantic dinner or doing laundry.

It was also just nice to spend time with people her own age. Much as she hated to admit it, Gabriel was right, she needed to leave her house more. It had been a long time since she'd had friends.

But the feeling she got in her chest and the pit of her stomach whenever Gardner gave her a tentative, shy smile betrayed how she really felt. She couldn't explain it, this gentle, lovely man and his stamp collection, she couldn't decide if she wanted to hold his hand and say sweet things to him, or press him against the wall and make him whimper her name. The thought made her face heat up. A little of both, she decided.

It terrified her, this feeling. Margaux couldn't remember the last time she'd felt like this, if ever. Gardner made her all stupid and blushy, which was not like her at all. Even Gabriel had noticed. After she bumped into Gardner at the supermarket, she smiled for the rest of the day, and he'd teased her about it ever since.

She glanced back at Gardner and saw that he was watching other people in the bar. He didn't seem to mind silences, didn't feel the need to fill them like she did.

She watched as his gaze travelled across the room, smiling that little smile. He seemed to see things that other people didn't, or at least, he saw them in a different way.

With every new second she spent in his company, Margaux found herself wanting to ask him about it. She wanted to know everything there was to know about him, his likes, his dislikes, what time he got up in the morning, his favourite song, who threw his watch in the river, what films always made him tear up, his favourite places, how he liked his toast, anything, everything, she wanted to know it all.

Margaux wanted to listen to him talk forever, watch the way his hands moved as he spoke, see the light in his eyes. But Gardner was reserved, not shy, just careful. Margaux didn't want to push him or make him uncomfortable, but she was determined to let him know that he could be himself with her. She wasn't going anywhere.

"I hope you're gonna keep your word and teach me how to play," Margaux thanked the barman as he handed her a bottle of the cheapest beer they had. "I don't wanna embarrass myself in front of the whole bar."

Gardner offered her a shy smile.

"I'm not very good either. I'm better at horseshoes."

His heart skipped when Margaux laughed and for a moment, he worried it was at his expense, but then she shook her head, taking a sip of her drink

"You're so full of surprises."

She gave what he could only describe as a fond sigh.

"You're the most interesting person I've ever met, Mr. Postman. Everything you say is just... Not one word of it wouldn't interest me."

She saw his expression soften and knew, with a pang of anger on his behalf, that no one had ever told him that before.

"How's the watch? Still working alright?" she said, changing the subject before she got too cross.

Gardner raised his hand, showing her that it was still ticking away happily as they moved away from the bar.

"It's great. Thanks again."

"Don't thank me," Margaux nodded towards his brother as they entered the games room. "Just help me get good enough at this to beat Calvin."

Gardner grinned.

"That won't take long."

Across the room, already lining up his first shot, Calvin made an affronted sound.

"I _heard_ that!"

Skee-Ball, it turned out, was a lot more difficult than Margaux anticipated. She was by no means the athletic type but she was a pretty good shot. Skee-Ball was a whole new discipline, one that evidently took years of practice and patience, which she'd never had.

Gardner, on the other hand, was an incredibly patient man and she couldn't help but admire his quiet seriousness as he stepped up to have a turn. While her attempts rolled right into the biggest ring, he managed to get enough 100s to make a siren on top of the machine whir.

He took pity on her after a while and tried to help, but it appeared this just wasn't her game. Still, Margaux was enjoying herself, and only partly because to help her throw properly, Gardner stood very close.

He looked nice tonight in his button-up shirt. At one point, he rolled up the sleeves and she felt a little faint, much to her own embarrassment.

She was grateful the feeling seemed to be mutual. Margaux was sure she saw Gardner blush as his hand brushed hers, showing her the best place to aim for. She hadn't noticed how big his hands were before, a thought that made her face hot.

She even got on well with Tracy, who was so funny and better at Skee-Ball than Calvin and Gardner combined. She put it down to practice, she still worked in the bar and instead of cleaning up after closing, she would camp out in the games room and play until she could go home.

Whilst she was telling a story about how she once had to rescue a guy who got his arm stuck in one of the holes, Gardner leaned over and quietly told Margaux he was going to get another drink, asking if she wanted anything, his breath tickling her neck. When she declined, he gave her a small smile and went back to the bar. Margaux tried not to watch him walk away, but not very hard.

When she focused back on the conversation, she found Tracy shooting her a knowing look. Margaux sheepishly ducked her head and went to roll another ball.

She watched bitterly as it glanced off the edge of the ring, landing on the floor and careening under the tables and chairs in the corner. Calvin and Tracy's faces twisted into the same look of sympathy.

Margaux laughed and went to collect her errant ball whilst Tracy took her turn.

"So who's older, you or Gardner?"

"Me, but not by much."

Margaux crouched down to reach under the table.

"How long have you two been brothers?"

She looked up at Calvin. He seemed surprised that she'd guessed they weren't related, as if it weren't obvious that he and Gardner looked nothing alike. Margaux had assumed half or perhaps stepbrothers, but the tension in his shoulders said otherwise.

She gave him an understanding smile, letting him know that she didn't want to cause trouble.

"Sorry, I shouldn't-"

"No, it's fine."

Tracy bumped her shoulder against his gently and that seemed to help him relax again. She knew, just like Margaux was beginning to, that Calvin would do anything for his brother, and vice versa.

Margaux was glad he didn't mind her asking, she'd never been very good at knowing when she'd overstepped a mark, and she liked Calvin, she didn't want to offend him.

He looked over at the bar, making sure that Gardner was out of earshot, then back at her.

"It's not really my place to tell you about it."

Margaux nodded.

"That's alright, I wouldn't ask you to."

"He really likes you, you know?"

"Yeah?" Margaux barely held back her grin. "I really like him too."

She finally got hold of the ball and straightened up, brushing down the front of her dress. It was the only one she owned, deep red and a little too short for her now, but she wanted to look nice for whatever tonight was, and Gardner certainly seemed to like it, judging by the way he'd been looking at her all night. The thought made her smile.

As she stepped up to roll again, Calvin fidgeted with the umbrella in his drink.

"Can you just..."

He frowned, trying to think of the right way to phrase what he wanted to say.

"You seem really nice but he's been... I don't wanna sound like an overprotective brother but Gardner's the most important thing in the world to me and he's been hurt by a lot of people."

Calvin saw Gardner paying for his drink and quickly added, "Just go easy with him, please?"

Margaux stepped back from the game, nervously turning the Skee-Ball over in her hands.

"I promise, I wouldn't do anything to... I don't really know your brother yet, but I'd like to. If he'll have me."

That made Tracy laugh.

"He'll have you."

Margaux felt embarrassment coil in her chest; even Gardner wouldn't have missed her insinuation. She looked at Calvin. When he nodded in agreement, Margaux had to take a swig of her beer.

Gardner came bounding back into the room, extraordinarily decadent drink in hand. He was smiling widely, completely oblivious.

"What're you guys talking about?"

"Skee-Ball."

"Cars."

Margaux and Calvin answered simultaneously. She looked at him in surprise and found he was already looking at her, the same shock clear in his expression.

They both looked away again, embarrassed, and so Tracy decided to intervene. She clapped a hand down on Gardner's shoulder, pressing a ball into his hand and taking his drink from the other.

"C'mon, Gardy, let's go another round."

They played for hours but the time flew by. Margaux was disappointed when Calvin yawned and stretched and decided to call it a night. She was having such a wonderful time. Gardner held out his hand, gesturing for her to go first and she led him out into the cool night air.

They watched Calvin and Tracy say goodnight to each other, interrupting themselves every few minutes to exchange sloppy but sweet kisses. Gardner shoved his hands in his pockets, shaking his head in mock disgust to make Margaux laugh.

It was never that cold in Austin, not like she was used to anyway, but it was chilly tonight and Margaux regretted not bringing a jacket. She caught Gardner watching as she tugged at the sleeves of her dress and immediately stopped.

She'd always been a little selfconscious about her arms; she'd never been slim by any standard, but after years of heavy lifting and hard work, her arms were toned and strong. She didn't feel like she belonged in a short-sleeved dress like this, but Gardner did.

"You come here a lot?" she asked, trying to block out the noise of Calvin saying goodnight to his girlfriend and to break the awkward silence that had fallen between them.

"There's not really a lot to do in this town."

Gardner's hands were still deep in his pockets, his upper body turning from side to side slightly.

"I'm sure London is a lot more exciting."

"I s'pose." Margaux gave him a small smile. "Never made me feel like this though."

Gardner wasn't brave enough to ask what she meant by that, so instead, he asked, "How old did you say you were when you moved to England?"

"Seven. I hated it at first. I had this really thick German accent and the other kids used to make fun of me."

"Do you miss Berlin?"

"Can't really remember it, or much of my German."

Margaux brushed her fingertip against the end of her nose, a nervous habit.

"My sister always said she might move back one day though."

Gardner smiled, surprised. "You have a sister?"

"Two, actually." Margaux flattened out her hand, pointing at each of her fingers in turn. "Juliette is the oldest, she took over mum's garage when she retired. Then there's me, and then Renée's just finishing her masters, and my little brother Theo's a violinist." Margaux looked up at him again with a lopsided grin. "And I'm a disappointment."

Gardner didn't think that could possibly be true but he decided to leave it for now.

"Do they live here too?"

"No, just me."

"You must miss them."

"Yeah, I haven't been home in a while. Ju does keep saying she's gonna visit but... You know."

Margaux glanced away for a moment, a blank sort of look on her face. When she met his gaze again, she changed the subject.

"Calvin's nice. He seems like a good brother."

"He is."

"I like his girlfriend. She's a lot."

"She is."

Margaux laughed, and Gardner felt a swell of pride. He decided he could very easily spend the rest of his life trying to make her happy.

Calvin had finally put Tracy down, or perhaps it was the other way around.

Sensing their time together was drawing to a close, Margaux said, "I had a really nice time tonight, Gardner."

"You look really pretty," he blurted out.

He knew that wasn't in any way related to what she'd said but if he didn't say it now, he never would. When he saw the surprised look on Margaux's face, his confidence evaporated.

"Sorry, I meant to tell you earlier but I got distracted by... Well, you."

Margaux tried to hold back a smile, she really did, but then she saw the pink tinge to his cheeks and his nervous smile, and had to look away, biting back a grin. She wasn't used to compliments, but she thought she could be, if they came from him.

"Thank you. You look lovely too."

Margaux's face softened and Gardner felt all the tension leave his body. He liked that look, that open, honest expression Margaux wore when she was just being herself instead of hiding behind jokes and clever smiles. He liked everything about her, but this was his favourite.

Calvin called her name and she looked over Gardner's shoulder to find him waving at her. It was time to go.

Margaux looked back at Gardner, suddenly feeling a burst of courage.

"Does your brother like cats?"

Gardner frowned.

"I think so?"

"Do you think he could look after mine on Saturday? I'm having lunch with someone and I just need to make sure they get in okay."

Gardner felt his heart sink but tried not to let his disappointment show.

"Well, I- I could look after them, if you like?"

Margaux hummed, hefting her bag up onto her shoulder, preparing to go.

"Ah, you're gonna be busy."

"I am?"

"Yeah, you're having lunch with me."

Margaux grinned, and suddenly Gardner couldn't think of a single reason not to follow her for the rest of his life. Then her smile slipped a little.

"If you like," Margaux added. "I don't wanna force you to- I'd like to see you. We can just hang out."

Gardner laughed softly, nodding his head.

"Okay. Yeah, I- Yes. That would be great."

"Cool."

She could barely tear her gaze away from the shy smile that lit up his face, but Calvin was calling his brother's name.

Margaux reached out and squeezed his broad shoulder before she turned and headed for home.

"See you later, Mr. Postman."

Gardner found he couldn't stop smiling even if he wanted to.

"I'm not a postman anymore," he called after her.

Margaux span around, walking backwards.

"You're right! I'm gonna have to think of something else to call you."

She gave him a wink that made his collar feel tight.

"Until then, see you later, handsome."

Then she turned back again and walked off into the night.

Gardner watched her walk away, waiting until she was out of sight to pump his fist in the air in celebration whilst Tracy and Calvin cheered him on.


	9. Chapter 9

The front gate of Number Nineteen slammed shut so hard that it rattled on its hinges.

"T'es qu'une égoïste, tu vas pas pouvoir t'enfuir pour toujours!"

Margaux watched her aunt storm across the road to where her car was parked, yelling back at her over her shoulder.

"Ta famille a besoin de toi et tu l'ignores juste pour jouer avec tes machines?"

Joséphine wrenched the car door open, shouting so loud that a few of Margaux's neighbours stopped working in their front gardens to watch.

Margaux flopped down on the top porch step, resting her elbows on her knees, propping up her chin as she watched her aunt. She didn't even try defending herself, there was no point.

"C'est la dernière fois que je te rends visite jusqu'à ce que tu commences à te comporter en adulte!"

The car door slammed shut. Margaux watched her aunt drive off through bleary eyes. She was furious at herself for letting her aunt get to her.

This happened every time. Margaux knew she should just ignore it, but from the moment she saw her aunt coming up the garden path, till the moment she left, she felt almost overwhelmed with anxiety.

"Vieille conne," Margaux muttered under her breath. She sniffed, angrily brushing her tears away. "Tu sais pas de quoi tu parles."

"Margaux?"

Her head snapped up so fast, she was surprised she didn't hurt herself. Gardner was standing by the gate, his hand resting on top of it as if he'd just been about to come in when he saw her.

Margaux felt her heart lift at the sight of him.

"Gardner, hi."

She quickly wiped her face, getting up as he pushed open the gate. She forced a smile that made the taught skin around her eyes sore.

Gardner's worried expression never wavered.

"What's wrong?" he asked, carefully making his way towards her up the garden path.

Margaux swallowed thickly, dragging her hands down her face to get rid of the last of the wet on her cheeks.

"Oh, nothing," She huffed, giving him a lopsided grin. "My neighbour's been cutting the grass."

He opened his mouth, so she quickly changed the subject.

"You," Margaux stepped forward, closing what little distance remained between them. "Are a sight for sore eyes."

She gave a strained laugh, and he smiled at her feeble joke.

Gardner couldn't forget the look on her face when he approached the gate. He wasn't surprised to see Margaux out in her front garden - it almost seemed strange to find her anywhere else - but she was usually so bright and smiley, he didn't think he'd ever seen her look so sad before.

He wanted to ask her about it but he wasn't sure how, and she clearly wanted to put it behind her, so instead he asked, "I am?"

Margaux shrugged.

"I've had a bit of a morning. My aunt's just been round, worrying about me again."

"Why does she worry about you?"

"She wants me to get a real job, she doesn't think fixing things is a good use of my time. It's not my day, Gard."

He blushed at the nickname, it wasn't the first time she'd used it but it still made his heart pound.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be, things are already starting to look up."

Margaux gave him a smile that made his blush worse, looking him up and down quickly before she turned and scaled the porch steps.

"So, what do you want to do today? Did you have any ideas?"

"Not really."

"Well," Margaux leaned through the front door, grabbing something hidden behind it. "I was thinking we could go to the shops, get as much food as we can carry and then sit by the river. What do you think?"

She straightened up, slinging a small backpack over her shoulders, and Gardner tried very hard to pretend that he hadn't been a little dazzled by her ass in those jeans as she bent over.

"I think that sounds good."

Margaux beamed back at him.

"Me too."

* * *

Gardner had feared they wouldn't be able to find anything to talk about. Today felt different somehow, and he was worried Margaux would suddenly find him boring. But as they made their way into town, they talked so easily, Gardner couldn't remember why he was nervous.

Margaux led the way, guiding him towards the supermarket, but he didn't feel corralled. There was no pressure, no fear, they were just hanging out. Being with Margaux was the easiest and most wonderful thing in the world.

"Mon chou?"

Gardner blinked at her, then looked down at Margaux's hand which rested on his forearm. Now she had his attention, she moved away but Gardner could still feel the warmth of her, almost as if she were still touching him.

"Hey there, daydreamer. Do you wanna push the trolley or shall I?"

Gardner smiled.

"'Trolley'."

"Cart, sorry."

"No, I like the way you say it."

Margaux scoffed and waved him off, turning away to hide her blush.

Gardner took control of the cart, more than happy to let her lead him around the store, and wherever else she liked.

He followed Margaux down the first aisle where all the fridges sat, both of them tugging at their short sleeves as goosebumps rose.

"Don't you get on with your aunt then?"

Margaux shrugged.

"I do, she's really looked after me since I moved here. But she's a strict, old-fashioned French lady, very no-nonsense."

She chucked a few things into the cart, glancing at Gardner for confirmation. This was his day too, she didn't want to get anything that he hated, but Gardner nodded happily and they moved on.

"She'd much rather I had a 'proper' job. Or, even better, a husband."

She raised her eyebrows at him and Gardner couldn't quite meet her eyes.

"It's nice that she cares," he offered.

Margaux nodded, trying to ignore the tight feeling in her chest.

"I just wish she cared about 10% less."

She gave him a weak smile before changing the subject again.

"How was your week? What've you been up to since I last saw you?"

"Not much."

Gardner stopped the cart beside the bakery, breathing in the sweet air while Margaux decided what she liked the look of.

"I don't really lead an exciting life."

"Oh, that's right, you're an ex-postman carrier now. How's civilian life treating you?"

"I haven't decided yet. I liked my job. Maybe too much. I don't know."

Margaux held up a loaf of bread in each hand, silently asking him to pick one without interrupting him, which made him smile. He pointed to the one in her left hand.

"It's nice having a chance to just live for a little while but... I liked being needed."

Margaux very nearly said something very embarrassing about how she needed him but thankfully stopped herself in time. Instead, she said, "You pick the drinks; I trust your judgement."

She let him take the lead now. There weren't many people about, so she was able to walk by his side with ease as they moved through aisle after aisle, plucking things from the shelves as they went.

When Margaux invited him to have lunch with her, this wasn't what Gardner was expecting. No, it was much better. He'd spent so long worrying about what clothes to wear and trying to think of interesting things to say, but everything with Margaux was so relaxed, he could just be himself. It was how he felt when he was with Calvin, like he was at home, except Margaux made him considerably hotter under the collar.

"So, what kind of music do you like?"

As she spoke, Margaux reached out and touched his arm again, just brushing her fingers against his elbow. He wasn't sure if it was to get his attention or if it was just something Margaux did. He wondered if she even realised she was doing it.

"I don't know."

"Oh, c'mon, Gardner, you must _know_."

"I like everything."

He grabbed some chips and carefully placed them in the cart after Margaux had given her seal of approval.

"I like the stuff you listen to."

"How do you know what I listen to?"

"You blast it from your porch every morning."

Margaux laughed brightly and Gardner knew he'd never heard anything so lovely.

"How did Calvin meet his girlfriend? I forgot to ask."

"Tracy brought her car into the garage. Calvin fixed it."

"Just like I fixed your watch."

Margaux only realised what she'd said when she looked up and saw the startled look on Gardner's face. _Oh_. She really didn't mean to imply anything, she was just making a connection, though now, for the life of her, she couldn't remember why.

Margaux stuttered and stumbled through the beginning of several apologies before finally settling on, "Strawberries?"

Gardner's surprised expression soon slipped into a small smile, growing bigger by the second when he realised that for once, Margaux was flustered by him. It was a feeling he knew he could get used to.

"Strawberries," he said eventually, relieved when Margaux's smile returned.

She left him with the cart for few moments as she wandered down to the end of the aisle, an excuse to sort out her flushed cheeks. When she came back, she gently placed the strawberries in the cart and flashed him that smile.

"Good answer. I knew I liked you, Mr. Not-A-Postman-Anymore."

"Still working on that nickname?"

"I'm trying out some things, trying to figure out what will make you smile the most."

Gardner looked down at his feet, a closed-mouth smile stretching across his face, feeling bashful all over again.

Margaux nodded.

"Yep," she said, reaching out and gently tapping the end of his nose, unable to help herself. "That's the one."

Gardner groaned softly under his breath, closing his eyes for second, trying desperately not to lean into her touch, brief as it was. He was very grateful that Margaux had already turned away, easily distracted.

A stack of shelves lined with horrific garden ornaments had caught her attention and of course, she plucked the ugliest one from the shelf.

"Oh, Gardner," Margaux held up a metal flamingo, bent awkwardly at the knees. "He's perfect. I want seven. God, I wish I could take him home."

Gardner joined her at the shelf.

"Margaux, I'm going to say something very important, so I want you to remember this," He raised his eyebrows. "You're an adult. If you want this horrible flamingo, you can buy it."

Margaux's expression turned serious. She turned and picked another garden ornament off the shelf, this one generously labelled 'peacock'.

"You're an adult too, my darlin'. Wanna get matching ones?"

Gardner matched her grave expression and carefully took the little metal peacock. He tucked it under his arm with a firm nod. The smile she gave him put the moon and stars to shame.

"Gardner Langway, I've never loved anyone as much as I love you right now."

While they waited in line, Margaux tested out some other nicknames, just to make him laugh. Each one was sillier than the last and Gardner was laughing softly by the end, his head thrown back, eyes squeezed shut, his broad shoulders shaking.

Margaux had ever seen anything so wonderful, just watching him smile, knowing it was because of her, it made her heart feel light.

As they moved down the queue, Gardner asked, "Your cousin called you 'Gaux'." He nervously curled his fingers towards himself. "Could I... I mean, would it be alright if I..."

Margaux gave him a funny, lopsided smile, her nose wrinkled.

"To be honest, I've always hated that name, but I'm stuck with it now."

She greeted the man at the checkout, starting to pile their shopping onto the conveyer belt.

"But I don't mind, you can call me anything you want," She grinned. "And any time."

Gardner chose to ignore that comment for the sake of his own heart, which was already pressing hard against his ribs, pushing him towards her.

"Calvin calls you 'the lady in red'."

Margaux laughed, happily surprised.

"Now _that_ I like!"

Gardner smiled to himself as he helped her pile their shopping into the reusable canvas bags she pulled from her backpack.

"What about just 'Mar'?"

"Fine by me. But maybe drop the 'just'."

"Oh, I didn't mean-"

"I know, love, I was only kidding." Margaux bumped her elbow against his. "I'm sorry, my aunt also thinks I joke too much."

"People think I don't joke enough. We balance each other out. But if it's any consolation, I like the way you talk."

Margaux looked up from her bag, surprised. She found she could hardly get the words out, her own smile getting in the way. The more rational part of her brain kept asking why she was allowing herself to fall so quickly but Margaux ignored it, she'd much rather think about the faint pink glow to Gardner's face whenever she smiled at him.

"You, my friend, are something else."

Margaux nodded behind her to the shelves of chocolate, mints, and candy that bordered the checkout.

"Just for that, you get to pick the sweets."

* * *

Although she'd lived in Austin for almost eight years, Margaux had never been down to this part of the river. The sun was lazily making its way across the sky, already brushing the tops of the skyscrapers in the distance. It cast warm yellow light across the river, lighting up the trees, and making Gardner's hair seemed even redder. It was all Margaux could think about as he led her along the riverbank to a patch of grass.

He looked back at her over his shoulder, sending her an uncharacteristically relaxed smile as he turned in circles like a cat, searching for the best space to sit down.

They didn't think to bring a blanket but that was fine by them. They flopped down in the grass, laughing softly when Gardner lost his balance and tipped onto his back.

"It really is a beautiful place."

Margaux's gaze traced the outline of the city, digging into one of their bags for something to eat.

"I've spent my whole life in cities. It's kinda strange seeing them from the outside. You ever thought about living anywhere else?"

"Sometimes."

Gardner thanked her quietly when she passed him the chocolate he'd chosen. Dessert first, his kind of girl.

"But I never liked the thought of living anywhere else as much as I did living here."

Margaux hummed thoughtfully. She could see what he meant.

She looked across at Gardner, smiling fondly when she saw him happily tucking into his food. He seemed relaxed. The last thing she wanted was for him to feel uncomfortable but Gardner seemed happy enough.

Margaux reached out and gently squeezed his arm but her smile faded when she felt him tense under her touch.

"Sorry," she immediately pulled back, her eyes squeezed shut, embarrassed. "Sorry."

Gardner had already begun to relax, she'd just surprised him. He felt cold the moment her hand left his skin.

"It's okay," he said quietly, but Margaux shook her head.

"I don't really get out that much, so I'm a bit..."

"I don't mind."

Gardner smiled gently, ducking his head to try and meet her gaze.

"I... I like it."

Margaux breathed a soft laugh, looking down at the sandwich in her hands. She picked at its edges, feeling what she wanted to say teeter on the tip of her tongue. She opened and closed her mouth a few times before she finally worked up the courage to speak.

"I'm... I'm sorry about what I said. When I asked what you were gonna do next? I shouldn't have done that."

"What do you mean?"

"You told me you weren't gonna be a mail carrier anymore and I asked what you were gonna do next. I've been thinking about it and I shouldn't have said that."

Margaux knew her sentences were coming out a little muddled but she was so nervous, she couldn't help it. She'd been thinking about it all week, but it wasn't often that she spoke about her feelings and she found them hard to articulate.

"You shouldn't feel like you have to be doing something all the time."

There was a brief pause. When Gardner didn't say anything, Margaux worried she'd embarrassed herself. She shouldn't have said anything, she should have just left it. But then Gardner spoke, his voice soft and low,

"Thank you."

She looked up and found he was smiling. It was a really lovely smile. Margaux returned it, feeling her nerves ebb away again.

They both looked out at the river, watching as the lights from the city and the slowly setting sun made the water burn gold.

"Was it just a part-time thing, then? Carrying postmen?" she asked quietly, still not sure if it was a sore topic or not.

Gardner's lips twitched, wondering if she'd ever stop making that joke. He knew Margaux would never make fun of him, she was just trying to make him laugh. It made a nice change.

"I was eighteen when I started there."

He saw Margaux raise her eyebrows out of the corner of his eye, already anticipating her next question.

"What happened?"

Gardner opened his mouth then closed it again.

He realised that this was the first time he'd actually told anyone the whole story. Calvin knew the most, but there were bits and pieces he'd neglected to mention simply because it had felt too raw at the time.

Now he'd had a whole year to process everything and it didn't feel quite so painful anymore. That ache was still there, dulled by time, by Hassler's offer had brought everything back.

He told her everything. He told her what it was like when he first started at the Post Office, about how hard he found making friends, he told her what he loved about his route and about the people he saw every day, and how even though he never spoke to any of them, he missed them and felt that they must miss him too, in a way.

Gardner told her about his then looming twenty-fifth birthday, about what his friends had said, the poem with the two roads, about how unsure of himself he'd felt after years of the same routine.

He didn't tell her about Paige, he didn't think it was important, not right now, but Gardner admitted that his attention had been elsewhere and after a few mistakes, his boss had fired him.

Until then, Margaux had been listening in silence, gratefully taking every word he handed her, honoured to hear his story when it obviously meant so much to him. But at the mention of him getting fired, her face fell.

She couldn't believe it, a few little mistakes after seven years of stellar service at a time when Gardner was obviously feeling lost… It set a fire in her. Margaux was furious. Anyone could see how dedicated Gardner was, how much he adored his job, every single thing about it. And it had been taken from him.

Gardner could see the flicker of anger in her dark eyes. It only softened when he told her about Hassler's offer but didn't disappear entirely. It was the same quiet anger he saw in Calvin's face when he told him, the same look he saw for the first time in Calvin's mother's eyes when he told her his parents had left him. He could've cried from knowing Margaux cared about him that much.

"Are you going to accept it?" she asked quietly, drawing her knees up to her chest.

"I'm not sure."

"I meant it, you know. You're smart and kind, you can be anything you want to be. And you're surrounded by clever people who love you. There's nothing you can't do."

Gardner huffed, looking down at his hands to hide his pink cheeks but Margaux noticed anyway.

"I'd just like to be as happy as you are."

Her smile flickered and then vanished altogether. Margaux turned to look out at the river. She felt a shiver run over her skin and prayed Gardner would think it was just because the air felt a little colder now that the sun was finally beginning to set.

"Postman or not, you're still the best damn Skee-Ball player this side of the river."

"I told you, I'm better at horseshoes. We should play sometime."

"What? So you can beat me at something else?" Margaux snorted, giving him a gentle shove. "I don't think so, mon chou. I have my pride, you know."

That name again. Gardner made a mental note to look it up later. He laughed softly, reaching for a bag of chips.

"I'll teach you horseshoes if you teach me how to fix cars."

"Why do you wanna know that?"

"I like learning new things. And it'll keep me busy."

"I think cars might be jumping in at the deep end."

Margaux dug her hand into the bag when he offered her some chips.

"I _do_ need to fix a vacuum for a lady, though. You wanna help?"

When Gardner nodded eagerly, his mouth full, she laughed.

"Right, it's a deal. A hoover for horseshoes."

Gardner beamed, just glowing in the early rays of twilight. Margaux let her gaze trace the outline of his nose down to his lips, pouted subconsciously as he looked down into the bag of chips.

She felt a swell of fondness, wondering to herself what she could possibly have done to deserve the honour of his company. She couldn't remember the last time she felt so utterly at ease with someone.

They stayed by the river until it began to get dark, still talking easily as if they'd known each other forever.

As they began their walk home, both of them walking purposefully slow to prolong their time together, Gardner realised he hadn't worried that he was being boring or too enthusiastic the whole day. Margaux let him speak, listening intently and asking questions, happy, it seemed, just to be in his company. It was a feeling he wasn't used to; even Calvin and Trudy sometimes had to gently interrupt him when he started to ramble on.

Margaux pushed open her front gate, mumbling to herself about oiling the hinge when it squeaked loudly.

Gardner hovered in the gateway for a moment then followed her up to her house.

Margaux smiled when she saw Ada sitting in the living room window, watching her expectantly. Calvin must have been round, as he promised he would.

With a contented sort of sigh, she turned back to Gardner, about to thank him for such a lovely day, when she saw the little frown on his face, like he was concentrating.

Before you could ask what he was thinking about, Gardner took a small step closer, reaching up and ever so carefully tucking her hair behind her ear. He was so gentle, she almost didn't believe that it had happened, but as he pulled his hand back, Gardner's thumb grazed across her cheek and she knew she couldn't be dreaming.

Margaux suddenly couldn't stop smiling if her life depended on it.

"Oh, _hello_."

Gardner knew he was blushing but for once, he didn't mind. Margaux looked so pretty in the last of the sunshine, her dark eyes almost gold. He ran his thumb over the tips of his fingers, as if he might still be able to feel her there.

"Saw that in a movie once."

"It was good."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, I liked it."

Gardner grinned, huffing out a little laugh that made Margaux want to grab him by the shoulders and kiss him within an inch of his life, but thankfully, she held herself back.

"Thank you for today. I had a really good time."

"Me too, Gard."

There was a beat, just a moment, wherein all they did was look at each other, then Margaux bent down and picked a tiny flower from the grass.

"There you go," she said, reaching up and tucking the daisy behind Gardner's ear. "Something to remember me by."

Gardner's heart ached. He felt like he could burst, he was so happy. He cared about Margaux, he cared about her a lot, but he was so nervous about letting himself like her after what happened the last time he felt himself falling for someone.

But Margaux was just so easy to be with, to talk to, there were no secrets, no confusion, and he knew, he knew she liked him too, and he also knew that she was open with him on purpose, for his benefit. Margaux cared about him too.

"Thank you."

Gardner gently brushed his fingertips against the daisy behind his ear, making sure it was safe.

Margaux grinned.

"After the hair thing, what happens?"

"What?"

"In the film, what did the person do after they'd done that thing with the hair?"

Margaux took a step closer, perhaps the closest they'd ever been, her hands clasped innocently behind her back.

"They, uh..."

Gardner's tongue felt like rubber. He watched Margaux tilt her head slightly, her gaze travelling down to somewhere by his collar then slowly back up again to meet his eyes.

"They…"

"Yes?"

"Gaux!"

The sudden shout made them both jump.

Margaux looked over Gardner's shoulder, her heart sinking when she saw her cousin approaching the house.

"Qu'est-ce que t'as fait encore?"

Gabriel roughly shut the gate behind him, making Margaux scowl.

"Maman est hors d'elle. Qu'est-ce que tu lui as dit?"

Margaux sighed.

"Rien, c'est elle qui avait décidé de m'en vouloir avant même de venir ici."

"C'est la même chose à chaque fois, quand est-ce que tu vas changer-"

Gabriel stopped beside them, only just noticing Gardner.

"Oh. Hey, mailman."

" _Carrier,_ " Margaux corrected him in a dark voice.

Gabriel scoffed and just stormed up to the house, letting himself in.

Margaux sighed, turning back to Gardner with an apologetic smile.

"I better go."

Gardner glanced at the door nervously.

"Is everything okay?"

"It's fine. Family trouble, you know how it is."

Before her words had the chance to sting, Margaux spoke again and he was distracted.

"What are you doing tomorrow?"

Gardner shook his head.

"Nothing."

"Fancy coming round? I'm baking all day and I need a sous chef."

Margaux's smile had already returned, the thought of spending another day with Gardner blanketing the dark cloud her cousin had brought with him.

"Alright, I'll be honest, this is just an elaborate ploy to spend more time with you."

"It's not that elaborate if you tell me about it."

Margaux laughed.

"Oh, handsome _and_ clever, I _am_ in trouble. Fancy it?"

Gardner knew he was the colour of a tomato so he was very glad when Margaux turned away to walk up her porch steps.

"I'd like that."

"Alright, it's a date."

She glanced back just in time to see Gardner smile to himself, biting back a smile of her own.

"And, hey, you'll get a slice or three of whatever we end up making."

She stopped with her hand pressed against the door, nodding when she saw his smile stretch into a grin.

"Yeah, thought so. Bet you're glad you agreed to come now."

Gardner laughed.

"I already was."

"Shame," Margaux said. "I was looking forward to making you come."

She saw Gardner's eyes widen, his lips parting in surprise, and the antagonising thought of kissing him crossed her mind once again.

"See you tomorrow, Gardner."

She gave him one last cheeky grin then disappeared inside.

Gardner stared at the space where she had just stood. Margaux's words rolled around his head until he felt hot all over. He swallowed thickly, realising that his breathing was a little uneven. God, she was going to be the death of him. Soon his open mouth twitched into a grin. He practically danced home.

* * *

When Margaux walked into her kitchen, Gabriel was making himself a coffee. She sighed, shaking her head, and spotted a Post-It on the fridge. It was from Calvin, letting her know that the cats had got in fine and her spare key was back under the doormat. He also asked her to say 'hi' to Gardner for him, which made her smile.

Gabriel smirked at her over his shoulder.

"Were you on a date with your _mailman_?"

Margaux wrinkled her nose.

"No. Yes. I don't know, it's not- Leave me alone." She sighed, shaking her head again. "Have you eaten?"

When Gabriel shook his head, Margaux chucked him the bag with the last of her and Gardner's picnic food in it. He made an appreciative sound, already digging in, but frowned when he hit something hard and cold. He drew out the peacock garden ornament; Gardner had forgotten to take it with him.

When Gabriel raised his eyebrows, she snatched it back from him, cradling it close to her chest.

"Just go eat, Gabriel."

When he'd gone, Margaux down at the colourful little bird. The faint blue glass patterning its long feathers reminded her of Gardner's uniform.

She smiled down at it, then carefully placed it down on the counter so that it could gaze out of the window before she started making a cup of coffee for herself.


	10. Chapter 10

"Cabbage."

"What?"

"It means cabbage."

"No, it doesn't."

"Would I lie?"

"You must've read it wrong."

"No, look. See? It's right here. _Mon shoo_."

Calvin's high school French classes could only get them so far, so he had to borrow a French to English dictionary from the library on his way home from work.

Calvin held up the dictionary, shoving it right under Gardner's nose. He tutted and pushed the book away so that he could read it.

Next to his fingertip, the word 'chou' was printed in thick black letters, attached to a translation in smaller type.

Gardner frowned, puzzled. Perhaps he'd misheard Margaux? No, she said it at least twice, always accompanied by a pretty smile that made his heart pound just to think about it.

Calvin gave his brother a sympathetic look.

"Could be worse."

Gardner pouted thoughtfully and glanced over the page again, more than happy to be called a cabbage if that's what Margaux wanted to call him. He'd certainly been called worse. But then he saw that there were a few more definitions they didn't notice before.

"Wait, look."

He showed Calvin, who read the words out loud.

"' _Mon petit chou. Sweetheart, my sweetheart_.'"

He looked up at his brother, grinning from ear to ear, the same excitement he'd shown when Gardner came home yesterday evening with a daisy tucked behind his ear and a smile like the Fourth of July.

"French flirting, Gardner."

Calvin grabbed his shoulders, giving him a little, excited shake.

"French. Flirting."

Gardner snorted and brushed him off, but he couldn't ignore the beating of his own heart, knocking against his ribs, making him feel confusingly happy and nervous at the same time.

He took the dictionary back, flipping through the pages, while Calvin grabbed a pen and paper, ready to take notes.

* * *

The sidewalk had always seemed so sparse and grey before. Margaux had never given it more than a cursory thought. Now, as she gazed down at the paving slabs passing quickly beneath her feet, she thought of Gardner, and it made her smile.

He'd told her that he _enjoyed_ looking down at the pavement after she'd expressed concern about him bumping into something. He walked so quickly and kept his gaze down most of the time, Margaux couldn't help but worry he'd walk right into traffic, but Gardner knew these streets like the back of his hand.

He'd showed her what he saw, or at least attempted to. She was more interested in looking at him, but Margaux listened intently as Gardner carefully traced his fingertip in the air, outlining the patterns and shapes and colours that could be found in the sidewalk.

As Margaux pushed open her front gate, she found she was still smiling. Gardner had that effect on her.

He saw ordinary things and made them extraordinary, he beatified things that other people tended to ignore. Like his stamps, tiny little things, barely noticed by most, but in them, he saw a whole story, where they'd been, who sent the letter, where they were going.

She'd never known anyone to love as deeply as Gardner.

Margaux closed her front door and leaned back against it. The house was woefully quiet. Her smile faded away, her good mood disappearing with it.

She'd spent the best part of her morning at Miss. Le's house, fixing her broken refrigerator. The two bottles of lemonade she'd given her in return sat heavily in a bag hanging from her shoulder. The hand mirror she'd slipped off the kitchen counter burned a hole in her pocket.

Margaux squeezed her eyes shut, letting her head fall back against the door.

"Shit. Shit, shit, shit."

She pushed away from the door, quickly scaling the stairs, taking them two at a time. It was still only early morning still but Gardner was wonderfully punctual and she wanted to get ready before he arrived.

Four doors led off from the top floor landing, her bedroom and the spare room, the bathroom, and a storage closet, the furthest door from the stairs. Margaux wrenched it open, slipping the little brass hand mirror inside and placing it on a shelf without looking at it, ready to be sorted later.

She quickly changed then hurried back downstairs, grabbing her stereo from the kitchen counter on her way to the door.

Margaux settled herself on her only lawn chair, plonked her old stereo down on the table, and waited for Gardner to arrive.

She smiled to herself, humming along to the radio and fanning herself with her free hand while she opened up her notebook with the other.

She kept a list of all the people she regularly fixed things for. Her lip twitched at the word 'clients' written at the top of the page, it felt far too professional and impersonal, but she hadn't been able to come up with anything better.

Margaux still worked for the same people she helped when she first started all those years ago. She'd found the fault in her neighbour's air conditioner with ease, and rewired all the sockets in the general store on the corner, and word had spread. Her list had grown and grown, and they seemed to have a never-ending series of problems, but that was alright by her.

Margaux liked fixing things, it kept her busy, it got her out of the house, and it made sense to her. It was the only thing she'd ever been very good at.

She blew out a long upward breath, trying to cool her face. It was already stiflingly hot, at least by her standards, and it was barely eleven o'clock. She smiled when she saw the time. Gardner would be here soon.

She scribbled down some notes on the work she'd done for Mrs. Le, just so that she could keep track. It was probably the only aspect of her life where she was even remotely organised.

Margaux looked up when the garden gate swung open. The sound caused an embarrassingly strong Pavlovian reaction, just hearing the hinges squeak made her heartbeat pick up. That's why she hadn't bothered to oil it. If the gate squeaked, it meant that Gardner was here. But it wasn't her friend walking up the garden path, but one of his old co-workers.

Margaux's smile flickered, a flash of disappointment making her chest clench, but she quickly recovered.

"Morning."

A faint look of surprise crossed Linda's face as she drew closer.

"Good morning."

Margaux had regrettably never paid all that much attention to her mail carriers before. Now that she and Gardner were friends, she couldn't be more embarrassed that she'd gotten Linda's name wrong that first day they met.

Since then, she'd made much more of an effort to talk to her, although it seemed Linda's attention was elsewhere.

"You waiting for Gardner?"

Margaux smiled at the sound of his name.

"How'd you know?"

"We went out for drinks last night. He wouldn't shut up about you." Linda grinned. "Mentioned he was seeing you today about, uh... Eight times."

Margaux's smile grew before she could do anything to stop it. She caught her bottom lip between her teeth as Linda carefully placed her mail on the table, but it was too much.

The thought of Gardner talking about her, being excited to spend time with her, it made her chest felt like it might burst, like it couldn't contain her pounding heart.

"Well, that's..."

She tried to think of something, _anything_ , to say, but Linda looked amused and Margaux knew she was blushing.

She made several more attempts to speak but she couldn't stop thinking about Gardner, which wasn't unusual. Margaux gave up, huffing a laugh, shaking her head slightly.

Linda shrugged, raised her hand in farewell, and turned away, ready to move onto the next house. Her job was tenuous as it was, a few complaints against her name and she'd go the same way as Gardner. But just as she stepped off the porch, she couldn't help adding, "Rock his world, kid."

Margaux stared after her, eyes wide. She opened her mouth to try and defend herself but all that came out was garbled nonsense. Linda didn't even look back, but she could tell she was smiling.

Margaux sank back in her chair, only allowing herself to think about what she might've meant for a few moments before it all got too much and she shivered.

Just a few minutes later, reliable as always, the garden gate swung open again. Gardner walked towards her at his usual hasty yet exact pace, his head bowed, his gaze following the cracks in the concrete.

Margaux wished she knew what it was about him that made her heart thrum in her chest, she couldn't explain it, just seeing Gardner made her happy.

She reached over and pressed a button on her radio, turning up the volume.

"Morning, angel."

Gardner smiled to himself, feeling warmth bloom in his chest the moment he heard her voice. He looked up from the path and found Margaux in her usual spot, red-lipped and smiling.

She was so beautiful, she seemed to glow in the early morning light. All he could think about was kissing her, feeling her warm skin under his palms, her chest pressed against his, but he was terrified. Gardner had moved so quickly the last time he felt himself falling for someone, the first and only time, and it had gone so wrong, he was scared about getting hurt again.

He thought he'd done everything right, he thought he was good enough. He still didn't completely understand what had gone wrong, and it made him nervous. Too many people had left him, and so much had been taken from him, he didn't want to lose Margaux too. But her smile as he drew closer made all the fear slip from his shoulders.

This wasn't like the last time, that he was sure of.

Gardner was so distracted by his thoughts that he hadn't even realised there was music playing. He tilted his head to the side, listening intently to the song that curled through the hot morning air. Gardner didn't know it.

"What does this have to do with..?"

Margaux held up a hand.

"Wait for it."

The song continued. He liked it even if he didn't recognise it, but he still couldn't understand why she'd chosen this song. Then he heard it,

 _'Now it's a beautiful day, the postman delivered a letter from your lover...'_

Gardner laughed softly.

"Not your best work."

Margaux sighed dolefully.

"There are _shockingly_ few songs about postmen. It's a travesty."

"I'm not a postman anymore."

"I thought you might say that, so..."

Margaux pressed another button on the stereo, and the song changed.

 _'Arrested on charges of unemployment, he was sittin' in the witness stand. The judge's wife called up the district attorney, she said, "Free that brown-eyed man. If you want your job, you'd better free that brown-eyed man".'_

"Brown-Eyed Handsome Man. Very fitting."

Margaux grinned at him, obviously pleased with herself. She nodded over her shoulder.

"C'mon, lovely. Oven's on."

She got up and went inside, taking her stereo with her, and Gardner watched her walk away, stunned.

After a moment, he got the feeling back in his legs and followed her inside, grateful when the air conditioning immediately cooled his skin.

"It really is unbelievably hot. I don't know how you do it, marching around in this heat."

Gardner frowned as he followed her into the kitchen.

"I don't march."

Margaux laughed, soft and light as falling snow.

"Yes, you so do! It's endearing! It's like you're on a mission, I love it."

She yanked open the fridge door, grandly sweeping her arm towards its contents.

"Do you want a drink? I know this lady, she lives just a few houses away and she makes the best lemonade you've ever tasted. I don't know how she does it, it's like magic." Margaux laughed. "She doesn't even pay me, she just gives me lemonade."

Gardner nodded, eager to cool down. He was a little more acclimated to the Austin sunshine but even he was starting to sweat through his thin shirt.

"She pays you in lemonade?"

"Well, she can't really afford to give me anything at the moment, so I made her a deal."

Gardner smiled as he took the glass she handed him, taking a long drink before he said, "You keep doing people favours, you're not gonna make any money at all."

"If it was money I was after, I'd have a proper job."

He thought he saw hurt flash in her eyes, just for a moment, as she repeated her aunt's words, 'a proper job', but it left just as quickly as it arrived.

Margaux sipped her drink, shrugging.

"I just like fixing things. It's a bonus that they pay me."

Gardner felt a sudden swell of fondness. He hadn't realised how charitable Margaux was with her work. He'd felt the same way about his old job, he just like delivering mail, it suited him, it felt _right_ , the fact that he got paid was an afterthought.

Gardner leaned back against the counter by the sink, gulping down the lemonade. It really was incredible.

As he relaxed, his elbow bumped into something on the counter behind him. It made an almighty racket as it shuddered then tipped over, clattering against the metal draining rack and making Gardner jump.

It was the small garden ornament he bought yesterday. It was even uglier than he remembered. If he was perfectly honest, he wasn't sure why he'd picked it up other than that it had made Margaux smile.

"You left him behind yesterday," she said, raising her eyebrows. "I hope that wasn't on purpose."

"It definitely wasn't."

He'd left it in the bag of leftover food Margaux carried. He would've taken it home with him if her cousin hadn't interrupted them and made him forget all about it.

"I was very disappointed when I got home and realised I forgot... That."

"He has a _name_ , Gardner."

"You named it?"

"Well, he looked so sad after his father _abandoned_ him, so I thought I'd cheer him up with a name."

Gardner felt a sickening twist in his stomach but pushed through it, trying to keep a straight face.

"What name did you pick?"

Margaux picked up the awkwardly shaped peacock, giving its head a fond pat.

"Sir Rowland Hill. He came up with the idea for prepaid stamps. 13th February 1837, it was. But I only remember that because it's the day before my birthday."

That familiar feeling of warmth bloomed in his chest, just knowing that Margaux had made an effort, once again, to share his interests.

"Did you look that up?"

"Well, you can't just pull a name out of the air, can you? And I tried to think of something you might like so I looked up the history of stamps and... Sir Rowland Hill."

Margaux raised the little peacock and ever-so-gently tapped its beak against the tip of his nose, practically bursting with happiness when it made Gardner laugh softly.

"You can change it, if you like. He's your garish lawn ornament, after all."

"Sir Rowland Hill is good."

"Sir Rowland, it is. How are your baking skills?"

"Calvin usually does most of the cooking," he admitted.

"Oh, that's okay. I'm only a very enthusiastic novice myself, so…" Margaux grinned, shining with life. "Do you want an apron? Or are you feeling brave?"

Gardner let Margaux guide him to the counter and show him the recipe book she wanted to work from. It was a simple enough recipe, an apple pie in honour of him, she claimed.

He'd seen Calvin make them hundreds of times and often helped out, but he didn't have much patience for measurements and waiting for things to cook, so Gardner usually got distracted or bored and wandered off.

Baking with Margaux was an entirely different experience. It was always fun with Calvin, but she just seemed to be able to make him laugh so easily, it surprised even Gardner, who was almost out of the habit of laughing. At one point, she made him laugh so hard and so unexpectedly, that his head fell back, his eyes squeezed shut as his shoulders shook.

It was the most wonderful sight Margaux had ever seen, and sweeter than any love song. She could only gaze at him in wonder, watching his nose wrinkle, his hand clutching his stomach, and knew she wanted to spend the rest of her life trying to make Gardner laugh like that all the time.

He laughed so hard and so enthusiastically, completely relaxed and comfortable, that he accidentally managed to get some of the sugary apple mix on his face, flicking it off the end of the wooden spoon he was using.

Margaux laughed softly.

"You've got- C'mere, love."

She hooked her thumb against the corner of his mouth, her other fingers gently resting along the length of his jaw, then she popped her thumb into her mouth to suck off the sugar.

It was an instinctive reaction, Margaux didn't even realise what she'd done until she noticed Gardner staring at her with parted lips and flushed cheeks, his glass of lemonade forgotten.

"Sorry."

She felt her face flush, suddenly wishing the floor would open up and swallow her whole.

"I should've asked first."

"It's okay." Gardner's voice came out a lot higher than he'd have liked. He cleared his throat and tried again. "I don't usually like when people I don't know touch me but you're not a stranger. I'm very comfortable with you. You can touch me, it's okay."

Margaux's stomach wrenched at his words, suddenly filled with an overwhelming affection. She was so pleased to know he trusted her, and felt so honoured to be allowed to touch him. It had been so long since she'd been with anyone, so long it was embarrassing to even try and guess just _how_ long, and she felt the need to be close to him like an ache in her very bones. But she'd held back, with varying degrees of success.

She didn't want to make Gardner uncomfortable but he was so ridiculously beautiful and he smelled so good and looked so soft, she just couldn't help herself. Perhaps Gardner had sensed her indecision and wanted to ease her mind, because he even gently reached out and bumped his elbow against hers, the slightest of touches, but it was enough to make Margaux grin like an idiot.

"Thank you," she said at last, floundering for something better to say. "Er, same to you. Touch away."

She turned to push the pie into the oven, hiding her flushed face, absolutely mortified. _Touch away?_ But Gardner didn't seem to notice, that, or he was being very polite about it.

He certainly didn't smile when he saw that she was blushing, he certainly didn't feel extraordinarily proud of himself for it, and he certainly didn't see the floury handprints left behind from when Margaux had dusted them off on her ass and let her last words echo through his head again.

Her face a lot less flushed, Margaux turned back around, smile in place.

"Do you wanna go sit in the garden?"

Gardner had never seen Margaux's backyard before. It was fairly unremarkable, a little smaller than the one he and Calvin shared, but better kept. Unlike his brother, Margaux had left the trees in her garden alone so that they could flourish in the July sunshine. More marigolds lined the fences, along with a few flowers he couldn't name, but all in a fantastic array of wild colours.

They sat down on the back porch step, feet nestled in the cool grass. Gardner sighed happily to himself when Margaux sat close to him, barely a breath between them, a contented little smile on her face.

"What did you call your flamingo?" he asked after a moment, spotting the peacock's partner down at the bottom of her garden, just as terrible as he remembered.

Margaux smiled fondly at it.

"Dieter Binninger. He designed this really cool clock that tells the time with squares of light. I dunno if you've heard of it? The Mengenlehreuhr?"

When he shook his head, her smile grew.

"Oh, it's amazing, Gardner. So it's a twenty-four hour clock, right?"

She launched into a long, excited explanation, waving her hands around as she described the complicated clock.

Gardner was able to follow along at first, but there were so many numbers thrown around, he settled for just enjoying the delighted grin on Margaux's face, the light in her eyes, the warmth in her voice.

"It was the first public clock in the world to tell the time by means of illuminated, coloured fields and it's just, god, it's so cool." She stopped, realising how much she'd been talking, and winced. "Sorry, that's really sad, isn't it? I promise it's a lot better than it sounds."

"No, it sounds interesting. The Mengen..?"

"Mengenlehreuhr. It's back home in Berlin."

"I thought London was home?"

"I never could quite decide. I'm not really sure where I'm from."

Margaux's smile flickered slightly.

"I think that's why I like it here so much. Everything's just simpler. I'm one thing, not a bunch of little things, you know?"

"I think so."

They were quiet for a moment, then Margaux leaned a little closer, her eyes on the flamingo down at the end of the yard.

"Do you think he looks a bit lonely?"

She got up and walked back inside, returning a few minutes later with the metal peacock. She walked down to the end of the garden and settled him next to the little flamingo.

Gardner smiled at her as she came and sat down beside him again. He gazed at the two wonky lawn ornaments, the sunlight catching their stained-glass bodies.

"He can stay there, if you like." Gardner gestured towards the peacock. "To keep Dieter company."

"Don't you wanna take him home?"

Gardner smiled to himself.

"I think he looks happy there."

Margaux knew what he was thinking. She was glad Gardner felt happy here too.

"Well, feel free to visit him any time you like."

She brought her knees up to her chest and slung her arm around them to keep them there. She hesitated, then, feeling brave, she leaned over and rested her head on Gardner's shoulder.

"Is this okay?"

Gardner could feel her warmth through his shirt, the bare skin of her arm against his the most remarkable feeling he'd ever known. Margaux's head rested heavily on his shoulder, leaning her weight against him, and it made him feel bigger, stronger, and he loved that she trusted him, wanted to touch him, felt comfortable with him. He nodded even though she wasn't looking at him and murmured a quiet 'yes'.

He felt Margaux's smile against his shoulder and almost melted. She smelt wonderful, like apple pie and engine oil and flowers, and when he felt extraordinarily brave and rested his chin on top of her head, Gardner knew he could've happily stayed there for the rest of his life.

"Do you have a favourite flower?" Margaux murmured, breaking their comfortable silence. "Was thinking about what I'm gonna plant next, thought you might have a preference."

Gardner thought for a moment, then said, "Sunflowers."

Margaux laughed softly, shifting on the step to close the last of the space between them. Now his entire left side was pressed against her right, shoulder to shoulder, hip to hip, knee to knee. They both had to hold back sighs of relief.

"Good choice. And very fitting. Bright and sunny and they make me happy, just like you."

Margaux raised her head, nose wrinkling as she smiled again. Gardner's cheeks were pink but he steadily held her gaze. She rested her chin on his shoulder, just for a second, then looked up at him again.

"I saw Linda this morning. She said you went out last night."

"It's a weekly get-together type thing. They're very important now I don't get to see my friends every day."

"She said you talked about me. About seeing me today."

Gardner resisted the urge to wearily roll his eyes.

"They wanted to know more about you. I wasn't going to say anything but they asked how we met, and once I got talking about you, I... I couldn't stop."

"Good things, I hope?"

Gardner felt his nerves shudder. His instincts told him to stop talking, to just keep quiet or change the subject. He couldn't face another heartbreak, he just couldn't.

But this, Margaux, everything, it really did feel different, better, easier. He wasn't afraid of saying something stupid. He didn't feel the need to change anything about himself. He didn't even have to talk if he didn't want to, Margaux would be happy either way so long as he was comfortable.

When Gardner spoke again, it felt like a weight had lifted from his shoulders.

"Margaux, I really like spending time with you," he said, surprising them both.

Suddenly, he was speaking without thinking about it, the words flowed from him as if he'd been holding onto them for decades and was finally allowed to speak.

"You're... You're my best friend. Besides Calvin, of course."

When she didn't say anything, just continued to gaze at him, Gardner began to grow nervous. But Margaux's soft expression never wavered.

She wanted to tell him how hard her heart was pounding. She wanted to tell him that there was never any reason for him to be nervous around her. She wanted to tell him that seeing him every day had bought her so much joy she could hardly put the feeling into words, and she couldn't remember what she used to do or think about all day before they met.

But instead, Margaux said, "And you're mine."

Gardner beamed at her, his soul sighing at her words.

The sunlight made his hair look almost scarlet. There were some freckles on his nose that she'd never seen before, she could spend hours counting them.

Margaux grinned back, feeling so stupidly happy that for a moment, she forgot herself and asked, "Gardner, can I kiss your cheek?"

"I told you, you don't have to ask."

"I know, but I didn't ask the first time, so I'm making up for it now."

"You can. Kiss me, I mean."

Margaux laughed softly, charmed by his characteristic pragmatic approach, so pleased that he'd said yes that she forgot to be nervous.

She leaned closer and pressed a sweet kiss to his cheek, lingering a little longer than necessary, her hand gently holding his cheek. It held more meaning than she dared to think about.

When she pulled back, she saw that she'd left a red lipstick stain on his cheek and underneath, his skin was as pink as the roses in her garden. Margaux flashed him a shy grin, letting her thumb slowly sweep across his cheek before he moved away.

With a sigh, she let her head rest against his shoulder again. Music swept out from the kitchen to the garden like water over the sand, warm and soothing. It was another song Gardner didn't know but it was soft and sweet, but not nearly as enticing as the woman leaning against him, her hand ever so gently pressed against the small of his back.

"I could stay like this forever," Margaux said after a moment.

Gardner smiled, resting his cheek on top of her head.

"Might get a little cold eventually."

Margaux shrugged.

"I don't mind."

But she could smell cinnamon and sugar drifting out from the kitchen, tangling with the music, swirling through the afternoon sunlight. If they didn't get up soon, they'd burn their carefully constructed creation. Against every fibre of her being, Margaux sighed and raised her head again.

"Do you wanna see if the pie's done?"

With half the apple pie wrapped up safely in a Tupperware box he promised to return on his next visit, Gardner stepped out into the late afternoon air, breathing in the beginnings of twilight.

He thought he saw a firefly float through the air and tried to follow it, but soon grew distracted when Margaux stepped out onto her front porch, the lady in red, smiling at him so beautifully, he thought he must be dreaming.

Maybe this was heaven, the low purple light of a summer evening, the smell of cinnamon and apples, and a girl, glowing bright as the fireflies, glowing for him.

Gardner cleared his throat and recalled what Calvin and he had rehearsed that morning.

"Merci pour ce merveilleuse journée."

Margaux laughed, surprised and amused.

"Thank you for stopping by."

Gardner grinned, pleased with himself, then waved goodbye, his watch glinting in the last light of the day.

"Au revoir, ma chérie."

Margaux stared, stunned, as he turned and walked away, marching off into the night. She felt a strange warmth wrap around her heart, like it had grown two sizes bigger.

Her feet hardly meet the ground as she turned and went back inside. She leaned back against the door, pressing her hands to her hot cheeks as she got her breath back, then laughed softly and went to clean up in the kitchen.

Margaux hummed along to the radio, smiling as the old, familiar love song enveloped her. She thought about Gardner's broken attempts at French. She couldn't believe how sweet he was, that he would learn that for her.

She closed her eyes, repeating his last words over and over, wondering if he knew what he'd said, what he'd called her and what it meant, or if Calvin had tricked him when he undoubtedly helped him learn the phrase. Either way, it made her heart pound.

She bit her lip to keep back her smile then realised there was no one around to pretend for. Margaux laughed softly to herself, feeling happiness flutter in her stomach.

It was the first time in a very long while that she'd been alone and not felt at all lonely, just knowing that Gardner cared about her. Her heart wrung at the thought and she bit back a stupidly girlish giggle.

He'd called her his best friend. She could still feel his broad shoulder pressing against her cheek, his soft skin against her lips, his warm body pressing against hers.

Still, the song played, sweeping round the room, a song about joy, about being happy at home, about falling in love with your best friend, about trust and sweetness and-

"Oh."

Margaux stopped what she was doing, freezing in the middle of her kitchen. The song reached its crescendo and began to fade away, and she realised she'd been thinking about Gardner the whole time it played. Margaux felt breathless, stunned. Then, suddenly and without warning, it dawned on her.

"Oh, my God."


	11. Chapter 11

Margaux had never been so nervous to text anyone in her life. It was ridiculous, really. Gardner had expressed such an eager interest in her work and in her teaching him a few things, there was no doubt that he'd agree to join her on a house call today.

A small part of her worried if it was genuine interest, or if he was just being kind. He seemed excited about most things, he was the most passionate person Margaux had ever met.

She selfishly allowed herself to wonder if that was a part of Gardner that everyone got to see, or if it was just for her, but the thought made her chest clench after a while, so Margaux focused on the task at hand.

She had made plans to visit one of her regulars about her broken vacuum cleaner. It wasn't the most glamorous of jobs - not that they ever were - but Margaux was still worried that Gardner's romantic idea of her job might fall flat. But no, that was just her own self-doubt taking over.

She found it hard to believe that _anyone_ would want to spend so much time with her, especially someone as wonderful as Gardner. They'd seen each other almost every day since they met. Part of her thought he'd get bored of her eventually.

Margaux frowned to herself. No, no, she shouldn't think like that. Gardner liked her. He'd called her his best friend.

Memories of their last day together rose in her mind until her face felt hot. It had been three days since she last saw her postman, the longest three days of her life. Margaux couldn't believe she could miss someone this much, it was almost embarrassing. She just wanted to be with him all the time. Her best friend.

That song played in her head again, written by a man in love long ago, a song for his wife, calling her his best friend. Margaux's grip tightened around her cup of tea. Fear and excitement made her heart lurch. It still sent a thrill through her but it was frightening too. Margaux had never been in love before.

"Shit…" She let out a breathless laugh, resting her head in her hands for a moment.

She couldn't believe it. No, no she _could_ believe it, because how could anyone not fall for him? That wonderful, wonderful man. Margaux just couldn't understand her own feelings. There was so much excitement, so much joy, but so much fear too. If she lost him, it would be devastating. She couldn't bear to lose anyone else.

Margaux sighed, rubbing her tired eyes with her thumb and index finger. Perhaps she should just put the thought to the back of her mind for another time. Yes, that was good, just ignore the feeling, that's a healthy way to deal with it.

Margaux took a deep breath, pulled out her phone, and texted Gardner.

* * *

It wasn't the first time they'd messaged each other. Gardner had spent hours agonising over the perfect text to send Margaux when she first gave him her number.

Finally, after several unhelpful comments from Calvin, he hid away in his room and typed out a short message, just to say he was testing out the number and thanking her again for fixing his watch.

He prepared himself for a painful wait, half expecting her to not reply at all, but within a few seconds, Margaux had responded.

 _It's no problem! Hope I see you again soon! x_

Gardner had spent a lot of time thinking about that kiss, now he had the real thing to occupy his thoughts. He hadn't messaged her since. He saw Margaux so often, he had no need. So Gardner was surprised when his phone buzzed in his pocket while he and Calvin were having breakfast.

His heart skipped as he flipped open the most neglected phone in North America and saw the message from Margaux, asking if he was free to come to work with her today. He was so excited, he missed Calvin watching him with a small, proud smile.

They arranged to meet outside his house. Margaux was going to suggest giving themselves an hour to get ready, but she was so excited to see him again, she couldn't think of a single reason to wait.

Gardner gave her his address and she rushed to get ready, trying to find something in her wardrobe that was easy to work in but would also catch Gardner's eyes. She wasn't yet aware it didn't matter what she wore, Gardner was never able to look at anything or anyone else while she was around.

As she turned the corner onto Gardner's road, nerves stung her again. Margaux couldn't ignore the way her heart fluttered in her chest whenever she thought about him, his sweet smile, his lovely voice, his strong arms and broad shoulders, the red in his hair, the softness of his gaze.

"Okay, alright…"

Margaux let out a whoosh of air, trying to calm herself down. Gardner had always made her heart stumble but the feeling was far worse now she knew what it meant.

And then, there he was, waiting for her by the curb, her postman, her Gardner. Seeing him felt like a sigh, like a weight had lifted from her shoulders, she was just so relieved to be near him again. And when he turned his head and spotted her, smiling so broadly that his eyes crinkled, Margaux fell in love all over again.

Suddenly, she wanted to tell him. She wanted to hold his face and kiss him like no one had kissed him before, and beg for the privilege of being the only one who got to kiss him for as long as they lived. She wanted to reassure him that he was loved more than he could ever know and by so many, and that whatever it was that had happened to him in the past didn't matter because she was here now, and she wasn't going to let anything bad happen to him ever again.

But she didn't. Instead, Margaux pulled up beside him, the wheels of her bike crunching against the gravel, and said, "Gardner, love, how do you do it?"

His bright grin didn't waver as he spoke.

"Do what?"

Margaux stretched her aching back, sore from where she'd been bent over while cycling.

"It's absolutely boiling again. I dunno how you did this every day."

Gardner watched her back arch, feeling his face grow hot. He glanced away, clearing his throat, trying hard not to stare. When he spoke again, his voice was an octave higher than usual.

"My route started in the morning when it was cooler. 'Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers-'"

"'From the swift completion of their appointed rounds'."

Margaux smiled, resting her elbow on the handlebar, propping up her chin on the heel of her palm.

Gardner blinked.

"You know the motto?"

"Of course! My best friend was a mail carrier!"

The words rolled off her tongue so easily. It felt like they'd known each other for years rather than weeks, part of her couldn't believe that if it weren't for Linda taking a vacation, they might never have met.

Gardner beamed at her, just shining with happiness. It felt like there was a light glowing in his chest, warming his skin, bursting from the tips of his fingers. That was Margaux.

"You're so beautiful," he blurted out, and for once, he didn't feel afraid. He'd been wrong in love before but this was different, she was different, he was different too. It was alright, it was safe.

Margaux was struck by the little frown on his face, the way Gardner always looked when was being completely serious, focused, and a little bit brave. For once, he didn't seem nervous about complimenting her, about admitting what was really going on in his head. He hadn't accidentally let it slip, this was on purpose, and it made her so suddenly bashful that she could barely string a sentence together.

"Oh, I'm- Thank you."

Margaux wasn't sure what to say, it had been so long since anyone had said something kind to her, but it seemed to be enough for Gardner. He smiled and she thought about kissing him again until she felt a little breathless, so she changed the subject.

"I, er, I like your house."

"Thanks! I like your bike."

It was, for once, not deep red but light blue, the same as his old uniform. It was almost retro-looking. Up front, there was a dark brown wicker basket where she'd dumped her little backpack, and at the back, there was a carrier rack where she'd strapped down what looked like a tool bag.

"You travel in style."

Margaux thumbed the bell on the handlebars so that it pinged brightly.

"Is there any other way to travel?"

Gardner was still beaming at her. Margaux tried not to sigh wistfully.

"Hop on, then."

He looked suddenly unsure.

"Really?"

"Yeah, I can't be bothered to walk when it's this hot."

"Are you sure?"

Gardner watched nervously as she shoved her tool bag back, giving him enough to room to perch on the rack and half the seat.

"On the back?"

"Well, I don't think you'll fit in my little basket so…"

Margaux laughed and shuffled forward.

"Come on, mon chou, let's paint the town red."

Gardner hesitated, like he always did, but then he decided to trust her, like he always did.

He gingerly swung his leg over the back of the bike, turning almost as red as his hair when he realised how close Margaux was now, her back almost completely pressed against his front if she sat up straight.

She showed him where to rest his feet so that they wouldn't drag along the pavement or get caught up in the chain, not wanting him to get hurt. It was a risky way to travel but there were hardly any cars in the suburbs at this time of day and if it made Gardner smile, it was more than worth the effort of peddling for the two of them.

Margaux looked back at him over her shoulder.

"Hold on."

Gardner frowned.

"To what?"

Margaux just laughed and started peddling, huffing with the effort at first but soon she built up a steady rhythm.

Gardner yelped as he almost tipped right off the bike, but he managed to grab hold of the rack behind him, gripping it so tight, his knuckles turned white.

Margaux was worried about her passenger falling off and she was struggling a little under the weight of them both, so she went as slowly as she could. She glanced back at Gardner to make sure he was alright and saw he looked a little worried, so she steered them into the centre of the road where it was flatter.

Gardner still felt unsteady. He tried holding onto the frame but it was too low and he didn't want to throw off Margaux's balance, so eventually, he gave in and carefully circled his arms around her waist, clasping his hands together against her stomach.

Margaux glanced down at his hands, smiling to herself. She knew if she looked back, Gardner's face would be just as red as hers was, so she saved them both the embarrassment and kept her eyes on the road.

His chest was flush against her back, his strong arms tight around her middle. He felt warm, soft, she had to resist the instinct to lean back into him. It wasn't how she'd imagined Gardner wrapping his arms around her for the first time, but it would do.

Gardner was so flustered, he didn't realise they were in a familiar neighbourhood until Margaux stopped the bike. They'd arrived outside a blue house bordered by plum purple. There was a little deck off the right where a small table and two deckchairs sat. Stone steps led up to a screen door bracketed by several lovingly cultivated pot plants.

They carefully dismounted one at a time, giggling when both their feet got caught in the bike's frame. Margaux wheeled her bike right across the lawn to lean it against the side of the house, while Gardner followed the path, his sensible shoes never once touching the grass.

"You ready, sweetheart?"

Margaux went to knock on the door and Gardner nodded, feeling something in his chest glow again when she smiled at him, her sweet voice and the term of endearment making his heart soar. He followed her up the steps just as the door swung open.

"You're late, girlie," Trudie griped, stepping out into the early afternoon sunlight. "What kept ya?"

"I had to pick up my assistant."

Margaux turned her head and winked at him.

She'd known Trudie for years, ever since she first moved to Austin. They met in the only hardware store in town. A retired science teacher, Trudie was able to help her find the right tools she would need for whatever it was Margaux had been trying to build that weekend to keep herself busy; it was so long ago now that she couldn't even remember what it was.

She liked Trudie, they got on well. They had the same knack for building things, the same cheeky sense of humour. Trudie gave her vegetables from her garden, and in return, Margaux gave her a discount whenever she fixed something for her, since she knew enough to usually do most of her own repairs and only called Margaux when it was dire.

"This is Gardner. He's my best friend. Gardner, this-"

"Hi, Trudie."

Gardner gave his old friend a little wave, gently interrupting Margaux, who looked between them with confusion.

Trudie put her hands on her hips.

"I thought _I_ was your best friend."

Gardner shifted uncomfortably, a frown creasing his forehead.

"You can have more than one."

Trudie sighed and turned to Margaux.

"Men," she said, then sighed again, gesturing for them to follow her inside. "Get in, you're letting the cold out."

Margaux glanced at Gardner and he gave her a look she knew meant he'd explain later before they followed Trudie into her house.

She offered them lemonade and something to eat, which they both accepted gratefully before Trudie showed Margaux her broken vacuum.

Margaux was able to figure out what was wrong with it fairly quickly. Most customers just needed to replace the fan belt or change the filter, and she was able to do that for them. Trudie had done all that already, so there were only a few other things it could be.

Margaux plonked herself down in front of the vacuum, half expecting Gardner to join Trudie in the kitchen where she was making adjustments to her latest model rocket. But he sat down beside her, legs crossed, watching her closely as she worked. He really was interested.

She plugged in the vacuum and told him to listen carefully. The easiest way to find out what was wrong with a machine was just by listening to it. Gardner frowned when the main body of the hoover vibrated and choked, making an odd noise deep in its mechanism.

"That's the fan," Margaux turned off the hoover and grabbed her tool bag. "If it's damaged, I'll have to replace it but it might just be loose. That's the good thing about these old machines. I know it sounds like something your dad would say, but they really were built to last."

She passed him a screwdriver and showed him the panel he should remove so that they could get a closer look.

Gardner felt pride fill his chest, knowing she trusted him with this, her livelihood. He was so honoured that she was taking the time to teach him, just as she said she would, and handling it so gently, giving him good clear instructions but not hovering over him either.

She showed him how to check the screws that secured the motor to the body of the machine, and how to spot any signs of damage to the fan. Just as she suspected, nothing needed replacing, so Gardner tightened the screws while Margaux watched on, beaming with pride.

Gardner replaced the panel on the body of the vacuum, then passed Margaux back her screwdriver.

"Your mom taught you all this?"

She smiled, spinning the screwdriver between her fingers like a drummer.

"Everything I know."

Gardner beamed back at her.

"She must be a cool mom."

Margaux found herself nodding, about to agree, but her words got caught in her throat, choking her. She closed her mouth, pressing her lips together for a moment as she fought back against the sick feeling building in her chest.

Gardner felt a pang of worry when she suddenly cleared her throat and stood up, asking Trudie if she had anything else that needed looking at while they were here. He twisted his mouth, worried and confused. Just when he thought he was close to knowing her, Margaux suddenly shut down and changed the subject.

Gardner watched her as she talked to Trudie in the kitchen doorway. Her shoulders were tensed, one arm tucked behind her back where her fingers fidgeted anxiously. He wondered what he'd said that had upset her but before Gardner could apologise, Margaux looked back at him over her shoulder and shot him a bright smile. She was back, and so was her mask.

Trudie showed her the living room light, where she suspected there was a loose wire but she couldn't get up there to fix it. While Margaux went about gathering her tools, Gardner went to wash his hands in the kitchen, where Trudie immediately cornered him.

"So," she gave him a mischievous smile. "What's the deal with you and the fix-it girl?"

Gardner sighed but he knew there was no getting out of this.

"We've known each other for a few weeks. We've hung out almost every day."

"She's pretty."

Gardner hummed in agreement, cheeks pink.

"You like her?"

That made him laugh.

"I can barely breathe around her."

"God," Trudie lit a cigarette, taking a pensive drag. "It's worse than I thought."

"Trudie? Where's your ladder?"

Trudie watched as Gardner's shoulders relaxed at the sound of Margaux's voice, his face softening, his back a little straighter. He looked taller, somehow.

"Under the stairs!"

Trudie gave him a knowing look.

"She's a nice girl."

Gardner sighed. "I want to take things slow after last time. I'm still not sure she likes me like that."

"You kidding?" Trudie scoffed. "She looks at you like she wants to take a bite out of you."

Gardner felt his face heat up, his muscles tensing. He wouldn't mind that at all.

He thought about Margaux's sweet smile, and the way she always seemed to sigh his name, the way she stood with her hip jutted, her arms crossed over her chest, the way she always seemed to be reaching out to touch him, to be near him.

He thought about the soft skin of her thighs and what it might be like to push up the hem of her red dress, have them wrap around his waist, or slowly unhook all the buttons that ran down her chest, her eyes bright and fixed on him and only him, ruby lip caught between her teeth as she breathed a moan, calling his name.

His felt his skin grow hot when he realised his pants were a little tight. Swallowing hard, Gardner glanced at Margaux, who was trying to heave a tall ladder through the living room doorway, swearing under her breath. The idea that she could think that way about him, it seemed impossible. But Trudie was rarely wrong about these things.

Gardner forced himself to tear his gaze away, just trying to remember how to breathe. Trudie was looking at him knowingly. He tried to change the subject but she got there first.

"You kissed her yet?"

"No."

"Asked her out?"

"Kind of?"

"You held her damn hand, at least?"

When Gardner bashfully looked away, Trudie cursed and took another drag from her cigarette.

"Christ, I know you're taking things slow, kid, but I'll be dead and buried by the time you've grabbed a handful."

Gardner blanched, huffing out an annoyed and very obviously flustered sigh.

"She is _right_ there."

"You in love with her?"

Gardner's breath hitched, but not because the question frightened him, not because it was far too early to be thinking about that, but because as soon as Trudie asked it, the answer was there on the tip of his tongue without him needing to think about it.

When Gardner looked away again, Trudie sighed.

"C'mon, kid, there's no use waiting around. You just gonna let your life go by?"

She glanced into the living room. Margaux was at the top of the ladder now, reaching up above her head to fix the light fitting. She couldn't hear them, not over the smooth jazz oozing from the radio, but Trudie lowered her voice when she spoke again for Gardner's benefit.

"I've known that lovesick idiot in there almost as long as I've known you. She won't say anything but she's lonely, kid. And for some reason, she thinks the sun shines out your ass."

Gardner laughed softly, turning his head and resting his chin against his shoulder for a moment, embarrassed.

Trudie softened.

"You don't have to do anything right now but..."

She moved to the fridge and pulled out a jug of ice tea, offering Gardner another glass, which he declined. Trudie shrugged, pouring herself a drink.

"You might wanna move a _little_ faster."

Margaux looked down when she felt the ladder shift slightly then settle again.

"You okay up there?"

Gardner beamed up at her; he was keeping the ladder stable for her.

Margaux smiled gratefully.

"With you to keep me steady? I feel safe as houses."

Gardner's smile only grew. He gripped the legs tight, so she could see all the veins in his hands and the way his tensed muscles shifted beneath his soft skin. Margaux let her gaze sweep up to the tops of his arms, his short-sleeved shirt stretched tight over his biceps.

She licked her lips, following the line of his broad shoulders to his collar, where the buttons of his shirt were undone and she could see just a sliver of his chest.

Margaux raised her gaze to his and found Gardner looked a little flushed. She gave him a sheepish smile, then bit her lip and shook her head slightly.

She reached back up to the light fitting, quietly asking Gardner to pass her a different screwdriver, blushing when his fingers brushed hers. She tried desperately not to think about them brushing elsewhere.

When she thought she'd got it, Margaux asked Gardner to turn on the light, and they both cheered when the bulb lit up. She was about to get down but as Gardner came back to hold the ladder, Margaux was distracted by the warm yellow glow now shining on his face. His hair was so red in this light, his hazel eyes shining. He looked like a dream come true.

"I didn't realise how freckly you are," she murmured, reaching out and ever so gently holding his face, her fingers running along the length of his jaw.

Gardner sighed, letting himself lean into her touch. He wished he understood, he wished he could figure out what it was about Margaux that just made him melt. Everything just made sense with her, it was as easy and as natural as breathing, and even though he knew it was silly, Gardner knew the ache he felt in his chest whenever she looked at him, it meant they were two halves of the same whole, just meant to be.

It had scared him at first, but that fear had soon been drowned out by the melted gold of Margaux's voice, the warmth of her smile, and something in her eyes, something he dared to hope might be love.

"Too much sun," he murmured, closing his eyes for a moment.

"No..."

Margaux laughed softly when Gardner practically purred against the palm of her hand. She brushed her thumb along his cheek, following the path of his faint freckles.

"No, they look nice. My mum used to say they're kisses from an angel."

"They must be from-" Gardner stopped himself, his confidence suddenly vanishing.

Margaux smiled to herself when she saw his forehead crease, his little Gardner frown back in place.

"It's alright," she murmured encouragingly, wondering if it was her imagination, or if his cheek really was growing hot beneath her palm.

"I was gonna say," Gardner opened his eyes, nervous but as determined as ever. "They must be from the other day when you..."

He raised his hand to his other cheek, brushing his fingertips where she'd kissed him.

Margaux could've kissed him again right there and then. All that was stopping her was the ladder between them, her own self-doubt, and what had always been her most solemn of promises, that she would allow Gardner to conduct the tempo of their relationship.

Instead, she gently pinched his cheek then tapped the end of his nose, making him laugh softly.

"Very smooth, honey."

Margaux felt her stomach twist when Gardner looked proud of himself, and for about the fiftieth time that day, she thought about kissing him till they were both breathless.

"You know," she said, gently tilting his chin up a little higher. "I think you're beautiful too."

Gardner felt that familiar heat pool in the pit of his stomach again. He glanced down at Margaux's lips, then up again with a dopey, crooked grin.

Margaux laughed, brushing her thumb across his cheek one last time before she turned her head towards the kitchen, leaving Gardner a little dazed and very hot under the collar.

"It's all fixed, Trudie!"

Margaux hopped down from the ladder with a lot less care than Gardner would have liked, but his concern was soon forgotten when she beamed at him.

"Good job, sweetheart."

"I didn't do anything."

"You were a perfect assistant. How do you feel about joining me full time?"

"What are the benefits?"

"Spending every day with me. And dental."

Gardner laughed. He offered to put the ladder back for her but Margaux waved him off, saying she could handle it. When she came back, dusting off her hands, Gardner was carrying her tool bag for her, and this time, she let him.

They said goodbye to Trudie without much ceremony, they would both more than likely be seeing her again soon.

Margaux watched as Trudie opened her arms wide, inviting Gardner to hug her, which he did with a smile, closing his eyes as he squeezed her tight. Lucky girl.

Margaux gave Trudie a little wave, quietly taking her money and slipping it into her pocket. She always felt awkward taking money from people; she would do the job for free if she could.

Margaux started to follow Gardner out of the door but a gentle hand on her arm stopped her. Panic flared in her chest. Thinking she'd been caught, she quickly tried to come up with an excuse, but Trudie was smiling at her.

"I would say you've stolen his heart but he gives it up so willingly."

As her words sank in, the anxious knots in her gut relaxed, but now her heart was hammering for an entirely different reason.

Margaux and Trudie both watched Gardner walk to the edge of the curb, his hands in his pockets as he whistled blithely. It made Margaux's chest ache. Nothing brought her more joy than knowing that Gardner was relaxed, happy.

"You know," Trudie sighed. "I think Gardner understands more about love than the rest of us. That's why he finds it so hard sometimes. He's never met anyone who loves him as much he loves them."

Margaux smiled as Gardner turned back to look at them. Her best friend. Her postman. Her Gardner. He gave her a little wave and Margaux's smile grew.

"I don't know about that."

They waved to Trudie one last time before she shut the door, then Margaux hopped back on her bike, laughing as Gardner awkwardly settled down behind her. This time, he didn't hesitate. Gardner wrapped his arms around her waist, clasping his hands together.

"You ready?"

When she saw him nod, his arms instinctively tightening around her, Margaux kicked off from the curb and furiously began to peddle, making sure they wouldn't topple over. It took a minute or two to get the right rhythm but soon they were flying again. Gardner had to hold on for dear life but, he supposed, there were far worse ways to go.

The afternoon sun warmed their faces as they soared through the suburbs. Some of Margaux's dark hair had fallen from the bun she always kept it in, tickling his cheeks as the wind rushed past them. She smelt wonderful, like baking and Saturday afternoons in July, and of home.

Gardner sighed, letting his body relax as Margaux steered them through town, the sound of her bright laughter sweeter than music.

Margaux felt Gardner's arms tighten around her middle again and thought perhaps he wanted her to slow down, but then she felt him lean against her, his body so warm and inviting, then felt his head rest against her shoulder.

She heard him sigh contentedly, all the tension in his body gone, and knew she'd never felt this happy in all her life, soaring through town on a summer's day, the boy she loved holding her tight, trusting her enough to close his eyes. It was enough to make her forget about her sadness, and her loneliness, and the picture frame she'd taken from Trudie's, hidden away at the bottom of her tool bag.

When they pulled up outside Gardner's house, they caught Calvin on his way out of the door.

Gardner glanced at his watch. His brother could have only been home from work for a few minutes, so he was surprised to see him heading out again already. He noticed the camera hanging around his neck and remembered what Calvin had written on their shared noticeboard that morning.

"Hey, Cal!"

Margaux laughed when he stopped dead at the sight of them, his face immediately breaking into a smile.

"The lady in red!"

"I've got a very special delivery."

Margaux looked back at Gardner as he carefully stood up, his chest flush against her back for a few more wonderful moments as he got off the bike.

"First class."

Gardner was already blushing like an idiot but when he saw the pleased look on his brother's face, he had to look away for a second before he asked, "You going to the fields?"

Calvin patted the camera around his neck, an old thing he'd inherited from his father.

"Those babies aren't going to photograph themselves."

"There's some kind of Painted Lady migration, they haven't been seen here in decades. Calvin likes taking pictures of butterflies," Gardner explained when he saw the confused look on Margaux's face.

"For scientific purposes!"

Calvin looked bashfully down at this camera, fiddling with the shutter.

"I send them into the paper and sometimes they print them."

"That's awesome, Cal."

Margaux beamed at him, and suddenly Calvin understood why Gardner always came home from seeing her with a dazzled look in his eyes. He ducked his head so that he could unloop the camera from around his neck.

"Wait, lemme take your picture."

Margaux scoffed. "I don't know if I'll look half as good as your butterflies."

"You're prettier than any butterfly," Gardner said, not even missing a beat.

When Margaux looked at him with surprise, he smiled at her, pleased with himself for making _her_ blush for once. She bit her lip, trying to hold back her grin, but she couldn't help herself, a soft laugh fell from her, and Gardner felt like he'd won the lottery.

"Okay, ready?"

Calvin raised the camera to his face and Margaux reached out to Gardner, asking him to move closer so that she could wrap her arm around his waist. She was still sat on the bike so she rested her head against his shoulder, feeling him tense slightly, but only for a second before he seemed to melt against her.

The camera snapped and Margaux raised her head to look up at Gardner, grinning at him so brightly that it took his breath away. He couldn't believe that anyone could look at him like that. He gazed at Margaux, his lips curled into a soft smile as she slipped her hand round the curve of his jaw and kissed his cheek.

Calvin saw his opportunity and snapped another photo of them looking at each other with honest, open adoration.

"God, you guys are adorable," he said, making them both blush. "See you around, Margaux."

"See you."

Margaux waved as Calvin stepped off the sidewalk, slinging his camera back around his neck.

"Make sure I get a copy of those photos!"

"Will do!"

Margaux turned back to Gardner, shifting on the bike seat to get more comfortable. She felt like she ought to leave now that he was home, she didn't want to outstay her welcome, but Margaux could spend forever gazing at Gardner in the late afternoon sunlight.

It was terrifying, this feeling. She'd been in relationships before but no one had ever excited her like this, made the sun a bit brighter, the sky bluer. Margaux had never let herself feel this way before and it scared her, the idea of relying on someone else, of letting herself be open and vulnerable.

But it was addictive too, the warmth that he made her feel, the idea of being wanted, of mattering to someone. She didn't want to go. She never wanted to say goodbye to him.

"I wouldn't mind, you know," Gardner spoke quietly and with a shy smile, but there was no hesitancy in his voice. "Spending every day with you."

"I wouldn't mind that either."

She watched the smile on Gardner's face stretch into a grin. She remembered the day they met, and how he seemed to be out of the habit of smiling. Margaux could remember how his shoulders would slouch whenever they talked, nervous about saying the wrong thing, his gaze always difficult to capture and even harder to hold.

The man standing before her now was completely different, more confident, his broad shoulders low, his hands still, and when Gardner leaned down and gently kissed her cheek, she knew the reason her heart pressed against her ribs, aching to be set free, was because it didn't belong to her anymore. It was Gardner's completely.

Margaux caught herself reaching to brush her fingers against her cheek where he'd kissed her and turned it into a little wave.

"See you later."

Gardner waved back, then, just as he turned to walk up to the house, he said, "See you later, honey."

Margaux's mouth fell open in surprise. She tried to remember the last time anyone had called her a sweet name but came up empty.

Her face flushed, her clever retort dying on her tongue. All she could do was watch him walk away, trying to ignore the heat pooling between her thighs as Gardner gave her one last bright smile then disappeared inside.

She replayed his words over and over again, relishing the thrills of pleasure they sent through her. She cycled home in a daze, her heart full of light.

* * *

She took his words to heart. The very next day, Margaux was back at his house. She didn't call first, and perhaps in retrospect that was a bad idea, but she was just so excited to see him again, she stupidly let her heart guide her, and cycled over to Gardner's house just before lunch.

When she bounded up to the front door, she knocked and found it unlocked. Margaux hesitated, but then she thought about Gardner's smile, how he'd said she was welcome any time, and how people in the Austin suburbs often left their doors open to welcome visitors. She took a breath, then pushed open the door.

The house was bright and airy, and painted a bright sunny yellow that she thought matched the boys well. When she didn't find anyone in the kitchen, she moved through to the living room, growing increasingly uncomfortable the deeper she went into their home uninvited.

But then she saw them through the window in the backdoor, sitting in deckchairs, soaking up the morning sunlight. Grinning, Margaux pushed open the back door, a greeting dissolving on her tongue when they looked round and she saw Calvin's shocked expression and the tears in Gardner's eyes.

Margaux baulked, her stomach dropping. Gardner stood up but before he could say anything, she backed away, whispering choked apologies.

This is what she got. This is what she got for allowing herself to open up, for allowing others in. This is what she got for thinking that she could ever be good enough for Gardner. She'd ruined everything, again.

Margaux turned and hurried back through the house, bursting out of the front door. She made it as far as her bike before Gardner practically fell down the steps after her, calling her name.

Margaux shook her head desperately, putting the bike between them.

"I'm so sorry, Gardner. I thought- I'm so sorry, that was so stupid. I just saw you and I got so excited."

"Margaux-"

He tried to gently interrupt but she shook her head again.

"Sorry, I'll just go."

Margaux hooked her leg over her bike and pushed away from the curb but Gardner wrapped his hands around the handlebars, stopping her before she could turn away.

"Margaux. Margaux, it's okay."

He gave her a watery smile, and soon she relaxed, placing her feet back on the ground. Gardner waited until he was sure she wouldn't go anywhere then let go of the bike. He looked back at the house, then at her, his bottom lip caught between his teeth.

"Do you like boats?"

* * *

Margaux did _not_ like boats. She'd been terrified of the water ever since she could remember, even if she couldn't remember why, so when Gardner hopped on the back of her bike and directed her to the marina, she was more than uneasy.

She followed him across the jetty, thinking perhaps he came here to get some peace. It was still only morning and mid-week, there weren't that many people around, so the marina was certainly quiet enough to be somewhere good to think.

Gardner stopped at last beside a small boat, gleaming white in the bright sunshine. It bore the name _Dear Sidewalk_ like a medal of honour, its sails gently flapping in the wind. To Margaux's surprise, he climbed aboard then held out his hand to her, offering to help her up.

She hesitated, glancing down at the dark water swirling beneath the old jetty, then back at Gardner's outstretched hand. Margaux drew in a long breath, then let her hand rest in his so that he could pull her up onto the boat.

He didn't let go until he absolutely had to, when he started the engine and steered them out of the marina. Margaux missed the warmth of his skin against hers immediately but stayed quiet, fighting each of her gnawing instincts begging her to ask a hundred questions.

Gardner stopped the boat not far from the shore. He could sense Margaux's uneasiness and when he asked if she was alright, she admitted that she hated the water. Before Gardner could even begin to feel guilty, she reassured him that she felt safe with him and gave him a gentle, honest smile.

That made his chest ache in a way that was becoming all too familiar, it felt good to be trusted, but Gardner made sure to keep them as close to the land as possible all the same.

When he'd shut off the engine, they sat at the side of the boat, Margaux's hand gripping the edge of the little bench so tight that her knuckles paled. When Gardner saw, he gently took her hand in his again, brushing his thumb over her palm, for her sake as well as his own.

"I thought... I thought it was good."

He stared down at their hands.

"I thought they loved me, like parents are supposed to do. There was no warning. They just... I thought everything was okay.

And then one day, it was a Thursday, I came home from school and they were gone. There was no note or anything. Everything was gone, the house was empty. I remember... I just did my homework. And they still weren't home. I watched TV for a while. It got late. I didn't really know how to make anything so I just ate Cheerios straight from the box. I thought they'd be home with dinner soon anyway. I thought... It was just before my birthday so I thought they were going to surprise me.

I fell asleep waiting by the front door. I went to school, didn't tell anyone. It was three days before someone noticed. Calvin's mom. I know I should've said something but I thought... I really thought they were coming back. And I don't know, I didn't want to get in trouble for saying something. I just kept wondering what I did wrong."

Gardner's mouth twisted.

"Still do sometimes."

Margaux let his words soak in. She couldn't believe it. She couldn't believe that he could have gone through so much sadness and still grown into a bright, happy, loving man.

She couldn't believe that anyone could do that to their child. She couldn't believe how furious it made her that Gardner, _her_ Gardner, had been abandoned by the people who were supposed to love him most, unconditionally. And most of all, she couldn't believe he trusted her with his story, with his life, that he'd let her in, and that he was still holding her hand, his fingers entwined with hers.

"How old were you?"

"Five. It was twenty years ago today."

That was why he and Calvin had been sat in the garden all morning, just watching the world come to life. They wouldn't usually address the day, Gardner's parents didn't deserve memorialising, but he supposed with the loss of his job and last summer, everything felt a little out of place and he didn't have his routine to distract him anymore. Thankfully, Margaux arrived right on time, in his life and today in particular.

"Gardner, I'm so sorry," she murmured, squeezing his hand.

Gardner gave her a weak smile.

"I love Calvin's family. And they love me. I'm lucky for a lot of reasons and I'm grateful for my life. I don't ever think about them. Just…"

He trailed off but Margaux understood, more than he knew, more than most.

"Anniversaries are hard."

She squeezed his hand again. How sad, she thought, that this was the first time they'd held hands and it was under such awful circumstances. But Gardner didn't seem upset, at least, not as upset as he was earlier. There was still something there, something in his lovely, hazel eyes, but when he met her gaze, he gave her a soft, little smile, and she felt comfortable enough to ask,

"Can I... Please tell me if it's- The last thing I'd wanna do is make you-"

"It's okay, Margaux."

Smiling, Gardner raised their clasped hands and pressed them against his chest, only briefly, then let them rest between them on the bench again.

Margaux's cheeks were pink as she asked, "Why did you keep their surname? Why didn't you change it to Benson when you moved in with Calvin's family?"

"I don't know." Gardner laughed softly, surprised. "Guess I never really thought about it."

"Well, you could always change it when you get married, or something. You know, take their name."

"I can do that?"

"Yeah, of course!"

"So I could be Gardner Ersatz?" When Margaux blinked at him, he quickly added, "For example."

Margaux knew she was blushing but for once, she didn't mind. She didn't mind that Gardner knew he'd absolutely floored her. She didn't mind because he was blushing too. And, to her embarrassment, she found she didn't mind the sound of their names together like that. She didn't mind at all.

"Yeah," she said. "Yeah, you could be, if you wanted." Margaux grinned. "For example."

They shared a heavy but comfortable silence, watching a seabird glide across the surface of the water, searching for food. Margaux's stomach rumbled at the thought. She had intended to take Gardner out to lunch. Judging by the sinking sun, it was much later than that now. She wondered if he had anything on-board and began to ask, but Gardner shifted beside her.

He tentatively moved closer, feeling brave enough to slowly reach out and wrap his arm around her shoulders. But Margaux flinched away from him. Gardner paled, opening his mouth to apologise but she squeezed his hand.

"Sorry. Sorry, sweetheart."

Gardner let her gently pull him closer again until his side was pressed against hers. She apologised again, rubbing her forehead as if she was frustrated with herself.

"Are you okay?" he asked quietly.

Margaux nodded, her throat suddenly feeling so tight it was difficult to speak.

"It's just been a long time... I don't really have anyone, so it's been ages since... It's stupid."

Gardner shuffled closer, and when he spoke again, his voice was soft and low.

"Tell me."

Margaux could feel shame pressing up under her skin, making her face burn. Again, she worried about how Gardner perceived her, about what he might think if he saw her as she was, as she really was, beneath the smiles and the faux confidence, a self-assured girl, yes, but frightened too, and so lonely.

"I just…" She looked down at their entwined hands. "It's been a while since anyone touched me. Properly, anyway."

Gardner softened. He was a little relieved that he hadn't done anything to make her uncomfortable, but he felt terrible for not noticing it before. But then, maybe he had. Margaux was always reaching out to touch him, brushing his elbow with her fingertips, resting her hand on the small of his back, kissing his cheek, and always looking so happily surprised when he returned that affection.

He thought about the ache in his chest whenever Margaux was near and decided to be brave just one more time. She stayed stiff as he pulled her close, his hand on her waist, but she didn't flinch again.

Gardner went slowly to give her every chance of moving away. She said it had been a while since anyone had touched her, he could understand that. Like him, she was just out of practice.

Gardner felt her shoulders sag, her body relaxing against his, then with a sigh, Margaux rested her head against his shoulder, turning her face into his neck. Outwardly, she was very still, but her heart was racing in her chest.

His hands were so warm through her clothes, and as she pressed closer against him, his other arm coming up to circle her waist, Margaux realised she could feel his heart pounding, her body moving with his as he breathed in and out.

It felt like hours before either of them spoke again, but in reality, it was hardly any time at all. Gardner looked down at the woman in his arms. Margaux seemed much more relaxed than earlier, much more relaxed than he'd ever seen her.

This wasn't much more than they'd touched before but Margaux's back had always remained stiff, her fingers fidgeting. Now, he hardly knew where he ended and she began, and when Margaux reached up and wrapped her arm around him too, he could've cried. Gardner had never been held like this either.

Soon, far too soon for either of them, Margaux's stomach grumbled again and this time, Gardner heard it. She gave him a bashful smile and he laughed, reassuring her that he was pretty sure he had some food in the cabin.

He guided her down into the boat, his old home, giving her a very quick tour before he started to forage for something to eat.

Margaux was quite honoured that he let her explore on her own, allowing her to poke about in any corner she pleased. His shelves and shelves of books caught her eye, and a brass compass, heavier than she expected and cold to the touch.

A ring on one of the shelves also caught her attention. Margaux turned it over between her fingers, running the pad of her thumb over the diamond set in the gold. He explained that Calvin's mother had given it to him on his eighteenth birthday, it had belonged to her mother too. Calvin had been given his father's signet ring when he turned eighteen and she hadn't wanted Gardner to feel left out or like he wasn't part of their family.

Gardner looked over his shoulder again and smiled when he found Margaux studying one of the maps spread out on his little table. It was curling at the edges now and fairly faded, but more precious than gold to him.

"I used to be obsessed with drawing maps when I was a kid," he said, slotting some bread into the toaster. "I loved to walk and sometimes I would be so focused on the sidewalk that I'd look up and suddenly, I wouldn't know where I was. My parents would get so mad at me. So I started drawing maps so that I wouldn't get lost anymore. I know every street in this town."

Margaux looked up, impressed.

"Every single one?"

"Every one." Gardner beamed. "After my parents left, I thought... I thought maybe they'd got lost and couldn't find their way home, so I just kept drawing them and drawing them. I'd been living with Calvin's family for a few months when he found them all. He sat down with me and he started to draw his own map, and he drew a big circle around his house and wrote 'Gardner's home' next to it. I stopped worrying about being lost after that."

Margaux looked back down at the map. Just as he described, there, near the bottom right corner of this crude map of Austin, a child had very clearly drawn a red circle around one of the houses and scribbled her postman's name next to it.

Smiling, she took a seat while she waited for her lunch. Margaux laughed, happily surprised when she saw one of the photos Calvin took yesterday already Blu Tacked to the wall beside the bench. Her, sitting on her bike, Gardner beside her, both looking at each other with such warmth it made Margaux's chest clench.

"I like this photo," she said quietly, tapping the wall beside it when Gardner looked up at her, confused.

She drew her finger along what looked like the faded outline of an old frame.

"What used to be here?"

Gardner hesitated.

When he didn't say anything, Margaux looked back at him just in time to catch him pause in the middle of buttering a piece of toast.

"The Duke," he said eventually. "A stamp. It was worth a lot."

"Yeah?"

Margaux thanked him when he passed her a plate and led her back out onto the deck.

"What happened to it?"

"I gave it away."

She wasn't sure what it was, perhaps the heaviness in his tone, or the way his shoulders slouched, or the hazy look in his eyes when he nervously glanced her way, but something clicked in Margaux's head and she understood without him even needing to say anything.

"Was she the one who threw your watch in the river?" she whispered.

Gardner hesitated, then nodded.

Margaux gritted her teeth, turning her face away to focus on the horizon, trying to force down the bubbling anger in her chest.

Gardner sighed.

"Margaux, it's okay."

"No, it's not. She-"

Margaux shook her head. She was trying to keep calm. Her parents, her siblings, her aunt, her cousin, everyone she'd ever known had always checked her on her quick temper. She had taught herself to take deep breaths and count to three before she reacted to anything, but this was all too much.

"Her and your parents and- I just don't understand it. I don't understand how anyone could..."

"Margaux-"

"Who wouldn't want you?"

Gardner's breath caught in his throat. He knew he was staring but in his defense, so was Margaux. He thought he saw something flicker in her dark eyes. Fear, as if she'd thought better about her words and wanted to retract them. But she didn't.

Margaux's face softened but she still looked worried, always so careful about crossing his carefully constructed boundaries. Gardner was about to reassure her, but then she suddenly stepped closer and kissed him, so quick you might've missed it if you blinked.

Gardner barely had time to register what happened, it was so fast. A chaste, tentative kiss, but it made warmth bloom in his chest like the marigolds that patterned her garden.

She'd been aiming for his cheek and missed, her lips brushing the corner of his mouth. He knew because Margaux looked worried as she drew back, afraid that she'd accidentally gone too far. But she was smiling, only slightly, but it was still there at the corner of her mouth. Her mouth.

Gardner's heart thrummed as it finally dawned on him that Margaux had kissed him. He could still feel her lips against his, brief as it was, but he wanted more, more of her, more of the peaceful feeling that washed over him whenever Margaux was close.

Gardner began to smile. He wanted to say something, although he wasn't sure what, perhaps something to reassure Margaux and assuage her worried frown. But his words were wrenched from him as he stepped forward, caught his foot on something below the boat's wheel, tripped, and fell right over the side of the boat.


	12. Chapter 12

"Holy shit!"

Margaux could feel her heart in her mouth as she leaned over the side of the boat. There was no sign of Gardner, just a thin layer of white foam on the water where he had fallen in. The sky was already starting to darken overhead and it only made her fear worse, but just as Margaux was beginning to panic, Gardner burst out of the water, gasping for breath, not far from the boat

"Gardner!"

He shot her what she thought must have been a weak thumbs-up, letting her know that he was alright, then began to paddle towards the ladder at the end of the _Dear Sidewalk._

Cheeks prickling with embarrassment, Margaux waited until he was within grasping distance then helped him back onto the boat. Gardner's shoes squelched unpleasantly as he got his balance, pulling his hands down his face to wipe away the dirty water.

Margaux was so overwhelmed with worry that she hugged him without thinking about it, the front of her shirt sticking to his as she pulled away.

"Are you alright?"

She pressed her hands to his cheeks, searching his face for any sign of injury. If Gardner weren't quite so shocked by all that had just transpired, he might've laughed. That, and he was distracted by the last light of the day glowing in Margaux's dark eyes, and her lips so close to his, red and enticing as ever, lips that ruled his thoughts, lips that had kissed him.

"Are you hurt?"

Gardner blinked and returned his attention to the present.

"I'm okay," he said, trying to reassure her, but he might've sounded a lot more convincing if his teeth weren't chattering. "I need- There're towels in the bathroom."

Without another word, Margaux took his hand and led him below deck, murmuring quietly for him to mind his head and his footing, forgetting in her worry that she was the guest, and he'd climbed these stairs a thousand times before.

Margaux gently sat him down on the couch then grabbed a towel from the bathroom, deft fingers rifling through a small pile until she found the biggest, soft and warm and a deep plum colour.

When she came back, Gardner was peeling off his plaid shirt. It made Margaux panic at first, she almost stumbled over her own feet as she walked into the tiny living quarters, but then she realised that he was wearing a shirt underneath, and her heart rate slowed. A little.

She threw the towel over his shoulders, pulling the corners together and pushing them into his cold hands. Water dripped from the ends of his hair, sliding down his face, his neck, the hem of his shirt. Gardner was shivering despite the summer evening air, the water pooling at his feet in a small puddle. Heart still hammering, Margaux's hands found his cheeks again, trying to warm his face up.

"God, lovely, you just went right over."

She laughed softly, brushing her fingers through his hair, pushing it back from his face.

"Are you sure you're alright?"

When Gardner nodded, her smile grew.

"We should get you home, come on."

* * *

Gardner was surprised to discover that when Margaux said 'home', she meant her own house, not the one he and Calvin shared. He was also surprised to find that it didn't take him long to get used to the idea of her home being his too.

They cycled home as fast as Margaux could peddle, Gardner's arms wrapped so tight around her middle, he was worried about hurting her, but Margaux didn't say a word. He was anxious about getting her wet at first, but Margaux brushed off his concerns, and it was several days of furious puzzling before he figured out what it was about his question that made her blush so badly.

The second he stepped foot inside the house, Margaux rushed about trying to make him comfortable. A thousand different thoughts careened inside her head, worrying that he might've caught a cold, hoping that she actually had some spare clothes for him, and that Gardner wouldn't blame her for what had happened.

But there were less practical questions too, far louder and almost physically painful. She couldn't stop thinking about what Gardner had told her about his childhood. They nagged at her as she waited for the kettle to boil. Hugging herself as she leaned against the counter, Margaux rolled his story around and around her mind.

Why did his parents leave? Did they still think about him? Did they sing for him on his birthday, or hold him when he cried, or leave money from the tooth fairy? Did they teach him how to tell time and to ride a bike? Did they ever love him?

The kettle snapped. Margaux stared at it for a moment, then sighed and started making herself and Gardner a cup of coffee to warm them up. Humming to herself, she added two sugars to his, unwittingly guessing how he liked it without needing to ask.

She went in search of her guest, carrying both mugs with care as she made her way up the stairs, whispering 'hello' to Ada on her way past.

Her bedroom door was still ajar, just as she left it. Margaux felt an almost childish embarrassment at the thought. Gardner, in her room, getting changed out of soaking wet clothes. It was enough to make her pause on the landing, just taking a few moments to compose herself before she knocked softly on the open door with her foot.

She found Gardner standing by the bed, looking down at the clothes she'd laid out for him. He was still wearing his now almost see-through white shirt and drenched jeans. They clung to his body, framing him perfectly, she could even see the colour of his skin beginning to appear through the material.

Margaux let herself just take him in while his attention was diverted, running her gaze down his back to his little waist, around his soft middle, and down his thighs. She wondered how Gardner still managed to appear small despite being so much taller than her.

She thought about helping him out of his clothes, moving so gently, murmuring soft words of encouragement to him as she pulled the shirt over his head. She thought about pressing her warm palms against his cold skin to make him whimper, kissing down his chest to his tummy whilst she unbuckled his jeans.

Margaux shifted uncomfortably, swallowing hard as she thought about the soft moans that might fall from him when he looked down and saw the red lipstick marks she'd left all over his skin.

Margaux watched as he picked up the dark green shirt, two sizes too big for her, gazing at it with what she thought must be faint disappointment.

"They're mine."

Gardner looked up and found Margaux standing in the doorway. She tilted her head to the side, looking between him, the oversized shirt, and the men's plaid pants on her bed.

She smiled, resting his coffee on top of the dresser.

"They're comfortable to sleep in. Don't worry, Mr. Postman. You're the only man for me."

She left him to shower, smiling to herself, and Gardner watched her walk away. He realised he was clutching the shirt a little too tightly and loosened his grip, feeling so flustered that he forgot what he was doing for a moment.

While she waited for Gardner to finish getting changed, Margaux frantically set about clearing up. She was quick to push Gardner towards the stairs when they came in so that he wouldn't see the state of her house. It had been a while since she last had guests and she'd been so busy with work, she hadn't had time to clear up after herself. But now he was here, in her home, wearing her clothes, after she'd kissed him on his boat.

Margaux paused in the middle of stuffing the pile of books on her coffee table back onto the bookshelf where they belonged. She could still feel the corner of Gardner's mouth against her lips, how soft his skin had felt, how warm he was when he held her. Margaux shivered.

Before he fell, he had this look in his eyes, the same focused look he always wore, and that determined little crease in his forehead, his broad shoulders relaxed. He looked like he was going to kiss her back. Margaux reached up and brushed her fingertips across her bottom lip.

A creak on the stairs made her jump and she shoved the books onto the shelf, too panicked to realise they were upside down. Gardner came into the room running his fingers through his damp hair. He was smiling, an easy, small smile that she could only have dreamed of seeing when they first met. She tried not to think about how good he looked in her clothes as he padded into the room, his fingers now tangled nervously in front of him.

"Do you wanna call your brother? Let him know you're alright?"

Gardner shook his head.

"It's okay, I'll just text him."

He frowned, and she realised he must be wondering where he'd left his phone.

Margaux took his coffee mug from him, offering to make him another while he went to grab his phone from her room, but Gardner declined, worried that he would have trouble sleeping, so she offered him a hot chocolate instead, and he was a lot more enthusiastic. Gardner had a feeling she wouldn't let him rest until he had a drink in his hand or something to eat.

Margaux reached up, rifling through the cupboards, looking for the cocoa powder. She grumbled to herself when she found it right at the back. She felt Gardner brush by her as he reached up to grab it for her without even needing to stretch. Margaux beamed at him as he passed her the cocoa, thanking him quietly.

Gardner's elbow bumped against hers as he helped her, sliding their mugs across the counter and grabbing the milk from the fridge and she asked him. It felt good to have someone else around. She'd become so reluctantly used to being alone, she thought it might be strange having someone else in the house. But no, it was nice, better than nice.

"Did your phone survive the water?"

"I think so, it's pretty sturdy."

Margaux laughed softly when he showed her. A little Nokia phone that must be almost as old as they were.

"C'mon, go sit down in the warm. I can't send you home with a cold; Calvin will never trust me with you again."

Margaux squeezed his arm, only just stopping herself from cursing under her breath when she felt how surprisingly strong his bicep was beneath her fingers, but when Gardner left to get comfortable in the living room, she let her gaze stray down to his ass, sitting very nicely in her a-little-bit-too-small pyjama pants. Margaux sighed again. She considered banging her head against the kitchen sideboard, but eventually collected herself and went to join Gardner in the front room.

He was already settled when she walked in, hot chocolates in hand, and unsurprisingly, Ada had already settled herself on the back of the sofa, stretched out behind Gardner's head so that she could purr loudly in his ear. What was surprising was that he'd managed to coax her much shyer brother out of hiding, and now Izzy was settled beside him, even letting him run his hand down his back.

Gardner was so gentle with them, it made Margaux's heart ache. He was even talking to them softly, though she couldn't hear exactly what he was saying. She thought she heard 'thank you' and 'looking after her' but then Gardner noticed her standing there and he gave her a proud little smile, obviously pleased that he'd managed to attract both cats.

"Good cat-wrangling skills, Gard," she said, carefully placing his drink down in front of him on the table then settling down beside him, tucking her legs underneath her.

Gardner smiled softly at the compliment, looking back down at Izzy when he meowed, annoyed that he'd stopped stroking him.

"I always wanted a pet but Calvin's allergic."

"Well, you can share these guys. They obviously like you." Margaux laughed. "Good practice for when we have kids."

Gardner looked up. They stared at each other for a moment, Margaux wishing she'd never been born, Gardner hoping she couldn't tell just how much he loved the idea.

"How's your watch?" Margaux asked, quickly changing the subject.

"Still ticking, just about." Gardner beamed at her. "I have a really good handywoman."

 _'I'm so in love with you,'_ Margaux wanted to say, but instead, she just sipped her hot chocolate and tried not to burst into tears.

She must've looked more distressed than she thought because Gardner ducked his head, trying to meet her gaze.

"Mar?" he murmured. "You okay?"

Margaux forced a smile, changing the subject again.

"Yesterday, you called me 'honey'."

Gardner smiled bashfully into his hot chocolate.

"It suits you," He hesitated, as if unsure whether he should continue or not, but then he remembered just who he was talking to, and he knew he had nothing to be nervous about. "You're sweet and soft and warm, and you remind me of flowers. Or, they remind me of you. Well, it's both, really."

Margaux's smile grew slowly until she looked down at her hands, laughing softly to herself, then met his gaze again. She hadn't expected that. She never did. The idea of anyone thinking about her like that seemed impossible but here Gardner was, saying such sweet things she could feel her face heating up, and all she could think about was kissing him again, and again, and again.

"I like that even more than 'the lady in red'," she said quietly.

Izzy grew inevitably tired of the attention and stood up, arching his back with a yawn. Gardner watched him jump down from the sofa with a little frown, but Margaux scooted closer into the free space, and his disappointment was soon forgotten.

"Why _do_ you always wear red?"

It was a question he'd been meaning to ask since they met. He'd never given it a second thought before, but now he saw the colour everywhere, passing cars, ripe fruit, birds calling to each other in the trees, clothes in shop windows. Every time, it made him look twice. Every time, it made him think of her.

"Well, I like red." Margaux laughed. It really was that simple. "And," She sighed, embarrassed, pressing her face into her palms. When she spoke again, her voice was muffled. "Promise not to laugh?"

Gardner grinned. He'd only ever shared secrets with Calvin before. He promised he wouldn't laugh, even going as far as to cross his heart.

"You know the song?"

"By Chris de Burgh?"

She nodded, smiling.

"I love that song. I used to think... Maybe, one day, I'd be out with someone, and he might be thinking those sort of things about me when he sees me."

"What kind of things?" Gardner murmured.

"You know," Margaux waved her hand. "He says, 'never seen you looking so lovely as you did tonight, never seen you shine so bright'."

She half spoke, half sang the words, moving her head from side to side with the rhythm of the song. He'd heard it many times before, on the radio in Calvin's garage, in shops and movies and TV commercials. Gardner had always liked it but again, he'd never given it more than a cursory thought.

Now, here, in Margaux's home, listening to her half-heartedly sing, he realised it was the sweetest song he'd ever heard, his favourite song. And suddenly the anniversary of the most awful day of his life meant nothing, now it was the day Margaux had first kissed him, the day she brought him into her home and made him feel safe and warm and wanted.

Margaux watched his face shift. Something left, and something else took its place, something wonderful. Gardner's eyes, so warm and gentle in the low light, mirrored the golden glow she could feel growing in her chest. No one had ever looked at her the way Gardner was right now.

"What?"

He shook his head, smiling softly.

"Nothing."

She laughed.

"Please don't make me sing anymore."

"What else does he say?"

"Gardner."

"C'mon, what does he say?"

Margaux sighed but did as he asked.

"Dunna-nanna-nanna-na-na-na-na," she laughed again, embarrassed but too happy to mind. "And when you turned to me and smiled, it took my breath away. And I have never had such a feeling, such a feeling of complete and utter love," She trailed off, her chest tight. "As I do tonight…"

Gardner was beaming, just brimming with joy.

Margaux shook her head.

"Shut up."

"Oh..."

"Shut up, don't you dare."

"Oh, you are..."

"What?"

He was going to say 'oh, you are cute', but the words got stuck in his throat. Margaux Ersatz. The lady in red. She'd moved closer. She was so close.

Gardner could feel his heart pounding in his ears, his tongue heavy, his chest aching. He just wanted to hold her, feel her, kiss her, love her. He loved her. God, he loved her so much.

A shiver ran over Margaux's skin as she watched Gardner's gaze fall to her lips. She wanted to see every inch of him, _feel_ every inch of him. She wanted to kiss him all over, starting with that gorgeous mouth, _God_ , she just really, really wanted to kiss him. Kiss him for hours, kiss him breathless. Suck on his bottom lip, feel his tongue against hers, find out if he tasted as good as he looked. But he moved away.

"Sorry," Gardner's voice was low and rough. "Sorry, I shouldn't have..."

"Yes," Margaux reached out and slipped her fingers round his jaw, holding him in place. "You should."

She smiled at him, red lips so close to his, it was hard to think.

"Je peux t'embrasser?"

Gardner blinked, slow and languid like he was half asleep, his gaze on her mouth.

"I don't understand what that means," he murmured.

Margaux laughed softly, her dark eyes reflecting the glow from the low light above their heads.

"Can I kiss you?"

For the first time in his life, Gardner didn't hesitate. He didn't even have to think.

"Please," he whispered, eyelids sliding half-closed.

Margaux felt hot tears brim in her eyes and had to blink them away as he leaned in, resting his hand against the back of the sofa, the other resting in his lap, too nervous to touch her.

She felt dazed as she watched him bite his lower lip, her hands trembling as she gently angled his head, pulling his face into hers. The tips of their noses bumped. She felt his shaky breath brush her lips.

Margaux met his gaze. Gardner's hazel eyes were barely open but she could see they were dark and fixed on her. She smiled, parting her lips as she moved to close the gap between them.

The doorbell rang, so loud it felt like she'd been shot. Margaux sighed and let her forehead rest against Gardner's for a second, just trying to catch her breath.

"I'm just gonna go murder whoever's at the door. Two ticks."

She squeezed Gardner's shoulders reassuringly, a promise that she'd be right back, and he gave her a little smile, though he looked a little out of it. She knew she must look the same way. Margaux's head was still spinning as she went to see who was at the door.

Meanwhile, Gardner was trying to catch his breath. He ran a hand through his hair, willing his nebulous thoughts to come together again, but all he could think about was Margaux's hands holding his face, her chest almost pressed against his, the hungry look in her eyes.

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, adjusting himself through his pants. His face was still flushed when Margaux came back in, followed by her cousin. It wasn't often that Gardner cursed, but the words 'oh' and shit' rang out in his head again and again like a car alarm.

"Oh," Gabriel said, surprised. "You're here again,"

He didn't mean to be rude. It wasn't often Margaux had guests. Actually, it never happened. Gabriel had never seen her invite anyone over in all the time she'd lived here. It was surprising enough when she told him she'd made a friend, it was almost miraculous that he was seeing the same man again, sitting in Margaux's living room in clothes that obviously weren't his, and with a face like he'd been caught red-handed. Gabriel decided not to ask.

That was Margaux, always collecting strays. Gabriel had met a few of the people she worked for, even driven her across town a few times and been dragged inside to have tea with some old lady while Margaux repaired a toaster, or a stand mixer, or an iron. Even her cats were rescues. She seemed to pick people up, people that no one else wanted, and treat them with kindness. And yet she always ended up alone. The postman was the first person who'd stayed.

"Gardner, right?"

"I fell off my boat," Gardner said quickly, almost guiltily, like he needed an excuse to be here.

Gabriel blinked, bewildered.

"Alright."

Margaux's heart sank. He'd looked so relaxed just a few moments ago, she'd like it if Gardner saw this as his home too. She didn't want him to feel like a stranger, like he wasn't welcome, when really, he was all she'd ever wanted.

"Gabriel's just come to pick up the radio I fixed for him."

Margaux gave Gardner a reassuring smile, letting him know everything was alright. She could see it in his eyes, he was worried about outstaying his welcome, but right now, she would happily shove her cousin back out into the cold rather than say goodbye to Gardner.

"You alright here for a sec?"

She smiled when he nodded, settling back onto the sofa, his posture relaxing again. Margaux gave him a wink that only Gardner saw then turned away.

"Be right back, angel."

Gardner watched her leave, feeling his heart press against his ribs as if it were trying to follow her. He looked up at Gabriel. He was still standing in the doorway, though he didn't seem uncomfortable, just uncertain. Gardner knew the feeling well.

A clock on the mantelpiece ticked away, unsettlingly loud in the silent living room. Gardner was feverishly trying to think of _anything_ to say to Margaux's cousin, but nothing seemed to work. Thankfully, Gabriel had better luck.

"Weird," he said, nodding in the direction Margaux had left in. "She never talks like that. Giving people nicknames. She hates it."

Gardner considered this, confused.

"Margaux always does it to me."

Gabriel didn't say anything more, but he did give him a meaningful look that made Gardner's cheeks heat up. He was saved when Margaux came back in, giving him a quick smile before she pulled Gabriel back out into the hall.

"Thanks, Gabe, see you later."

She pushed the canvas shopping bag into his hands, his repaired radio safely wrapped up inside.

"Lemme know if it gives you any more trouble."

"You kicking me out already?"

"I have company."

Gabriel grinned wickedly.

"I can see that."

Margaux flushed and shoved him further away from the living room, praying that Gardner couldn't hear him.

"Casse-toi avant que je te foute dehors."

"Okay, okay," Gabriel laughed as she pushed him out of the door, almost slamming it shut while he was still in the doorway. "Je te laisse embrasser ton postier tranquille."

Margaux groaned but made sure to say goodbye to him properly before she slammed the door behind him, like when she would kick her brother out of her room when they were little.

She tugged her hair out of the bun she always kept it in during the day, shooting Gardner a shy grin as she moved back into the living room.

"Sorry about that."

To her dismay, Gardner rose to his feet before she could flop back down beside him on the couch.

"I should go, Calvin will be wondering where I am. Today's not… I should just get home."

Margaux's heart sank but she tried not to show how disappointed she was. She understood, Gardner should be with his family, she just wished she could ignore the small part of her that ached to be a part of it.

"Oh, okay."

Gardner fidgeted with his fingers. Any other time, it might've made her heart pound but Margaux was so worried that she'd been too forward with him, overstepped his boundaries, that all she could see was how uncomfortable he was.

But Gardner must've seen her concern in her expression because he gave her a smile, shy and small and so _him_ , it almost made her sigh with contentment.

"This isn't because of…"

He gestured awkwardly to the sofa.

Margaux's worry subsided, relief washing over her like warm water. She bit back a grin when she saw the tips of his ears had turned pink now too.

"No, I know, you should be with your brother."

She closed the distance between them to run her hands down his broad shoulders, smoothing out the wrinkles in his shirt, then stopped at the hem of the sleeves, humming appreciatively at the material stretched tight over his biceps.

Margaux raised her gaze to meet his again and gave Gardner a wry smile.

"Sorry you got all wet."

Gardner only just stoppered the whimper that almost fell from him when she tucked her fingertip under his sleeve and let it gently snap back against his skin, but his voice was still embarrassingly tight as he said, "Sorry you'll probably never get on my boat again."

Margaux raised her eyebrows.

"Oh, so there's an invitation going?"

"You're welcome on-board anytime."

"I might take you up on that. Will I see you again soon?"

"Day after tomorrow?"

"Day after tomorrow."

Gardner grinned. Again he found himself beguiled by how easy things were with Margaux. Uncertainty often left him feeling so anxious he could hardly think, and he thought she must've been able to tell that about him.

He liked to know where he stood, he liked having a clear plan, and Margaux always made sure they both knew exactly what they were doing. He supposed it appealed to her organised nature too, but Gardner knew, just _knew_ that she wanted him to be comfortable, to feel safe, to be happy.

"We can… Pick up where we left off," Gardner said quietly, a shy smile softening his features.

Margaux bit her lip, giving him a cheeky smile that made Gardner's breath falter.

"And where was that?"

"You know, the, uh…"

Margaux could've cried as she watched him blush until his cheeks were almost as red as her shirt. She wanted to taste him _so_ badly. She'd come so close, Margaux knew her mind would be racing for the rest of the night, wondering what they might be doing right now if they weren't interrupted.

"I'm only teasing you, love."

Margaux smiled, leaning up on her toes so that she could wrap her arms around his neck and pull him into a tight hug. She thought she felt Gardner sigh as his body came flush against hers, his chin resting on her shoulder first before he turned and pressed his face into her neck, breathing her in.

Margaux closed her eyes, slipping her hand into his hair at the nape of his neck, pushing her fingers through his stupid, lovely, soft red hair, keeping him against her, just wanting to hold him for one moment longer.

"Goodnight, Mr. Postman," she said.

Gardner beamed. "Goodnight, honey."

* * *

 _It was always the same. Dark, too dark to see more than a few paces in front of her. Margaux stuck out her hand, trying to feel her way, and her hand was swallowed up by the night. Rain struck the tarmac road so hard, the sound roared in her ears._

 _Up ahead, lights flashed, just for a moment. She thought it must've been lightning but then the squeal of rubber tore through the night, and then, so loud it shuddered through her very bones, a horrifying crash._

 _Suddenly, Margaux found herself running towards the sound, every breath agony. There was a car, upturned, its wheels still spinning. Someone was screaming._

 _Margaux tried to get closer. Help. She had to help. But she couldn't get any closer. She kept running and running but the world seemed to roll around her and she stayed on the same spot. She tried to speak, tried to call out and reassure them that she was coming, but her voice echoed until it faded into nothing._

Outside, it was raining for the first time in months. It lashed at the windows of Margaux's bedroom, rattling the glass in its frame. She woke up screaming. Margaux scrabbled at the bedsheets, so full of adrenaline that she kicked out her legs, drawing in a breath that made her back arch off the bed.

She sat there, clutching at her sheets, just trying to get her breath back, waiting for her heartbeat to slow. She hated herself for still feeling this way, for still letting it get to her, for knowing exactly what she could do to help herself and refusing to do it. Margaux brought her knees up to her chest and buried her face in the covers, just trying to push away the sound of the rain, the heavy sadness on her shoulders, and the terrible, terrible loneliness.

* * *

Gardner never ran. A good, even, but brisk walk was the fastest he ever moved, so that was how the few residents of Austin who recognised him knew that something must be wrong. He flew down the steps of the Post Office, panting heavily, tears blurring his vision. He just had to get out, he just had to get somewhere safe.

He was so upset, he made it halfway to his favourite spot before he even noticed it was raining. Confused and angry and sad all at once, Gardner realised he didn't want to be by the river anyway. That bench where he would go when everything felt too much, it just wasn't enough anymore, and after last summer, the thought of it left a bitter taste in his mouth.

No, no there was only one place he could go when he needed to think, when he needed to feel safe, somewhere that wasn't his house where poor Calvin would only worry, the only other place in the whole world that felt like home.

When Margaux's door swung open, she didn't look much like herself. It was early so she was still in her dressing gown, no makeup, her hair all messy on top of her head.

She stared at him like she'd seen a ghost, which he supposed was fair. She wasn't expecting him until tomorrow and here he was, on her doorstep, soaked from head to toe yet again.

"Gardner," she breathed, looking him up and down first with alarm, then concern.

Margaux looked tired, like she hadn't slept well. He almost changed his mind and turned away but Gardner's heart was thrumming so fast, it was difficult to breathe and all he wanted was to feel as safe and happy as he did last night, wrapped up in the warm of Margaux's home, wrapped up with Margaux herself.

"Can I come in?"

Margaux blinked, still a little stunned, but she stepped back, opening the door for him.

"Yeah, of course. Always."

As soon as he was inside, she seemed to wake up a little. Margaux pulled her hair down and tied it back up again tighter, dragging her hands down her face as she tried to get her brain in gear.

"Can I get you a drink?"

For the first time that morning, the dark clouds clogging Gardner's head began to clear. Even half-asleep, Margaux was as hospitable as ever, always trying to make sure that if you were in her house, you had something to eat and drink, you were warm, and you were happy.

"I'm okay," Gardner said, but he already knew she wouldn't take no for an answer.

Smiling softly, Margaux tightened her dressing gown, and Gardner suddenly realised she was in her pyjamas, and the last few coherent thoughts he had just disappeared like breath in the air on a cold day. She came closer so that she could hold his face in her hands, concern creasing her forehead when she felt how cold his skin was.

"You're absolutely freezing, love."

Her hands slipped down to his chest despite his damp clothes. Margaux pressed a little harder when she heard him make a soft noise, almost like a whimper, and looked up at him, cheeks pink.

"I'll make you a cup of tea, hang on. Do you wanna grab yourself a towel from upstairs?"

"I'm sorry."

Margaux blinked.

"What for, angel?"

The nickname made his shoulders sink, his posture relaxing as the tension seeped from his body.

"For turning up uninvited. For getting your floor wet."

Margaux laughed, reaching up to wipe a stray raindrop from his cheek, his forehead, brushing his hair back just as she had yesterday.

"Gardner you're always invited. This is your home too."

In years to come, Gardner would swear that his heart stopped, just for a moment, when she said those words. No more holding back. No more doubt, or fear, or anxiety. Just be honest, and let Margaux do what she was good at. Fixing things.

"I turned down the offer."

Gardner closed his eyes, taking in a soothing breath before he opened them again.

"He was gonna give me my job back, but not really. And I thought it was what I wanted but I don't anymore. And now I don't know _what_ I want and it's terrifying. It's all I've ever known and now I'm… Adrift. And I know I'll be okay and it's not the end of the world but right now it feels like it is, and I wanted to go to this bench I always go to by the river but it was raining, and I didn't want to go home and I- I wanted to see you. I had to see you."

Margaux's lips parted slightly, surprised, and Gardner let his gaze stray, just for a moment.

"I knew you'd make me feel better. I knew seeing you would make everything alright. I'm sorry for just turning up but-"

Margaux gently cut him off with a soft kiss on the forehead, soothing away his frown. Endearing as she found it, she didn't want Gardner to worry when there was nothing to worry about.

"Go grab yourself a towel," she said quietly. "And then we'll talk about it, alright?"

Gardner left Margaux in the kitchen, setting the kettle to boil for the cup of tea she'd promised him. He reassured her that he remembered the way to the bathroom without her having to show him. Later, Margaux would regret not being more insistent.

Margaux's house was only small; there were just three doors on the next floor landing. Yesterday, she guided him right to the bathroom, but it was early, and there was still rainwater in his eyes, and with the turmoil that still rattled around his head, Gardner wasn't paying much attention to where he was going. He opened the wrong door.

Margaux heard his footsteps approaching and smiled, spooning two sugars into his mug.

"So, Mr. Postman. Tell me all about-"

She looked back over her shoulder at him and her smile faded.

Gardner was looking down at a rolled-up sheet of paper, faded and old and a little torn at the edges. It had spent the last fifteen years safely tucked away in his boat, but he'd found it, labelled and shelved amongst an eclectic collection, in Margaux's cupboard.

"This is mine."

His voice was low. Margaux had never heard him speak like that before, like his words had sharp edges.

"How did it..?"

Gardner slowly turned the map he and his brother made over in his hands. He was having trouble believing that it was real, that he'd found it in Margaux's house.

"Did you..? Did you take it?"

He looked up. Margaux was pale, her hands frozen in place. Her eyes were wide, she didn't appear to be breathing.

"Margaux?"

"I..."

She tried to speak but no sound came out. She wanted to explain, but to her great shame, all she managed were a few mismatched syllables. Margaux tried again, tried to think of a good excuse, but all she could hear was a dreadful white noise, all she could see was the pained look on Gardner's face.

"I… Gardner, I-"

"I don't understand. I told you how important this was to me. Why would you take it?"

When she still didn't say anything, Gardner stepped closer, shaking his head. He was so confused. There must be a good reason, there _had_ to be. There had to be an explanation, so why wasn't she _saying_ anything?

"Margaux?"

Silence fell between them, uncomfortable and heavy. Thunder rolled across the sky. Rain battered the windows. Margaux just tried to breathe.

Gardner waited, he waited for her to explain, to say something, anything, but Margaux just gaped at him. He waited one moment more, hoping he'd misunderstood. But no, no this was real, this was happening, and it was awful.

Gardner shook his head.

"I have to go."

At last, Margaux felt strong enough to move. She didn't want to leave it like this, she didn't want Gardner to shut her out, to not trust her anymore, to walk away from her, from this, but he was already halfway out the door.

"Wait, Gardner, don't!"

She called his name again and again, following him out into the rain.

"Please!"

But Gardner was already gone.


	13. Chapter 13

It rained all day, and the next.

Trying to regain a sense of comfort through routine, something Gardner had taught her, Margaux sat on the front porch steps, cup of tea in hand, just as she did every morning.

Raindrops battered the roof of her little house, pooling and spilling over the edge so that it drizzled down in streams near to where she sat. Every so often, a stray droplet hit her cheek, but she barely noticed.

Margaux was waiting.

This weather used to be comforting. It reminded her of her rainy childhood in Berlin, and her even rainier adolescence in London. Now all she could think about were her awful nightmares, always following her like a second shadow, and the water dripping from the ends of Gardner's hair as he stood in her kitchen, asking her questions she wasn't sure how to answer.

Margaux shook her head, brushing the memories away.

It hurt. It hurt to know that the love of her life was near, in the same suburb, just a few streets away, and he couldn't have felt further out of reach, like he was thousands of miles away. Margaux used to be able to feel him, even when she wasn't with him, like he was the second pump of her heart, every inhalation.

She thought to look at Gardner was to see the world the way it ought to be seen. He was so entrenched in his surroundings, delicately woven into the fabric of this little town.

Gardner looked at things with apparent solemnity, gazing at trees and rivers and cracks in the sidewalk in thoughtful silence, but Margaux thought if she were able to see inside his head, she might be able to hear him talking to them, and hear their replies.

He was in the rain that fell and the grass under her feet, he was the summer breeze and he moved with the flowers that it swayed, and being with him felt so jubilant that all the years she'd felt other in this place melted away, and for the first time in a decade, Margaux felt at home. All because of Gardner.

Not anymore, though. Not anymore.

The front gate squeaked and she looked up, hope brimming over in her chest, but it was only Linda with the mail. She was wearing a light blue rain mac, the same colour as her uniform, the USPS emblem stamped over her heart. For a moment, she tried to imagine Gardner wearing one, and the thought made her smile, but it disappeared just as quickly as it came.

Linda offered her a thin smile but didn't stop to chat. Margaux knew it was probably just because she was in a hurry to get out of the rain, but part of her dreaded the thought that Gardner had told everyone about what happened.

She waited, she waited all day, and the next. Waited to see that familiar face at the gate, a flash of that smile. But no, no sweet face, no lovely voice, no Gardner. He wasn't coming.

"Shit." Margaux sipped her tea, settling back against the porch steps. "Fuck."

* * *

It was still raining several days later when Margaux finally made herself leave the house.

Braving the weather and her own personal dark clouds, she rode her bike into town, purposefully driving straight through the middle of every puddle she came across, trying to make it a game for herself.

She almost caught herself smiling when she saw some children playing in the flooded streets, but again, it slipped through her hands like grains of sand, and she was back to feeling sorry for herself before she'd even had a chance to blink.

The town centre was empty. Usually, on a weekday, she had to carefully manoeuvre around cars and people, but the weather had driven everyone indoors.

After she finished her shopping, she started to head home again, eager to get out of the rain. But something stopped her. Margaux paused, one foot on the pedals. There was a garage across the road from the supermarket.

Fond memories began to cloud her vision, of the family business, her older sister listening intently to something her mother was teaching her, both of them leaning over an engine, while Margaux sat on the floor in the corner, half-listening, her own little project spread out all around her, cogs and springs and bits and pieces from the spare parts bin.

She found herself leaning forward on her toes, pulled towards the garage by the invisible force of family, good memories, and love.

Before she knew it, she'd parked her bike and crossed the road. If she wasn't going to fix things for her neighbours anymore, she needed a job. A proper job, just like her family wanted. Heart jittering, she stepped inside.

"Hello?"

Margaux pushed back the hood of her raincoat, the stray hairs that framed her face now plastered to her skin like tiny, twisting vines. She could hear music in the back of the shop, just managing to rise above the rain outside.

Familiar smells itched her memories and soon more images rose in her head, of her little brother and sister sitting on the side while Margaux and her older sister kept them entertained, showing them how they could take an engine apart and put it back together again in just a few minutes while their mother worked, never far away, keeping one eye on them, smiling fondly when they all giggled happily.

The place was empty, from what she could see, so Margaux called out again, moving further into the garage.

"Back here!"

Margaux followed the voice, peering around cars and machinery, trying to find its owner. There was someone working away under a car in the back, she could see their legs sticking out from under a green SUV.

"Hello."

As she walked closer, Margaux wondered if she ought to wait for them to finish whatever they were working on, but she felt so awkward just standing there.

It had been a few days since she last spoke to another person, so the words spilled from her like the water in the gutter outside.

"I'm sorry, I know you're busy, but I was wondering if you had any vacancies? I don't have any, um, qualifications but I do have a lot of experience. Oh, maybe I should bring a CV. Sorry, this was kind of a spur of the moment-"

"Oh, my Gooood," The mechanic groaned, pushing themselves out from underneath the SUV. "That was the worst pitch ever."

The dolly board squeaked as it rolled across the floor, stopping right before her feet.

"You've spoken to people before, right? You've had conversations with other humans?"

Margaux felt her face grow pale.

"Calvin."

Of course. Gardner has told her his brother was a mechanic, she'd even spoken to Calvin about it that night they went out as a group. She didn't realise it was _this_ garage. Margaux suddenly felt very, very stupid.

"Sorry, that was mean."

Calvin grunted as he sat up, shooting her an uncharacteristically sharp look.

"But then you did steal from my brother."

"I deserve it." Margaux gave him a grim smile. "How is he? He was meant to come over yesterday and he didn't."

"He's kinda mad."

"Yeah, yeah, I thought he might be."

Silence fell between them but surprisingly, it wasn't nearly as uncomfortable as she anticipated. At least, Calvin seemed relatively relaxed, if a little on guard, but she knew that was more for his brother's sake than his own personal feelings.

Margaux, however, could still feel guilt and fear twisting round her stomach, her throat so tight she had to swallow drily before she spoke again.

"I've never seen Gardner angry, I can't even imagine it."

It was the first time she'd said his name out loud in days, even though it had been rolling around her head, her very veins, since the day they met.

"He's upset, too."

Calvin kicked the dolly board away, turning his attention to the open hood of the car instead.

"He usually gets up real early to go for his walk but I don't think he'd even come out of his room when I left this morning."

Shame seeped across her skin, colder than the rain. Gardner had trusted her with his past, passed it from his hands to hers so carefully, and she'd been just as reckless as everyone else in his life. Calvin was just another reminder of how she'd let him down, just like his parents, just like the woman he didn't like to talk about.

"You know what," Margaux shook her head, tears starting to blur her vision. "This was a mistake. I'm sorry."

She turned to leave, her heart in her throat, but Calvin's voice stopped her.

"Why're you looking for a job?"

Margaux stopped. When she turned back to look at him, Calvin looked genuinely curious.

"I thought you had your own thing going."

Margaux looked down at the scarred, oil-stained floor.

"I stopped."

"Why?"

"Didn't feel right anymore."

Calvin hummed as if to say he understood. He paused for just a moment, mulling this over, then nodded back at the SUV he was working on.

"You good with cars?"

Margaux gave him a thin smile, her first in days.

"Is this still a job interview?"

"Of sorts."

"I'm good with everything."

That made Calvin smile.

"Come on."

He nodded in the direction of the car again, then pointed at her with the oily rag he'd been using to wipe his hands.

"You," he said. "Are gonna be a lot more helpful than my brother."

They worked in relative silence, only exchanging words when someone needed to borrow a tool or they were deciding on the best course of action.

Calvin was happily surprised when Margaux seemed to pick up on the problem without him having to go into too much detail. He knew she was good, she could fix anything, but he'd never seen her in action before. He could see why Gardner was so in awe of this girl.

It was almost an hour before Margaux felt brave enough to ask what she was dying to know, the question waiting on her tongue, almost falling from her, anything to end her agony.

"Did he tell you what happened?"

Calvin looked up.

"About the other night? When you asked to kiss him?"

Margaux flushed.

"No, no, not that."

Just for a moment, she allowed herself to wonder what it might actually be like, to kiss him, kiss him _properly_. Margaux usually got so flustered at the thought that she stopped herself before she could imagine for very long, leaving her with an aching heart and a sense of longing that she'd never known before.

She let herself think about how warm his skin had felt under her hands, how soft his lips might feel as they moved against hers, his adorable nose pressing against her cheek, the soft little moans and sighs she would encourage him to share with her.

Margaux thought about pulling away to look at him, just look at him for a moment, and giggle with him giddily before she kissed him again, pulling gently on his fluffy hair, groaning as he kissed her back just as eagerly, his tongue against hers, Gardner's moans pushed into her mouth.

The thought of his big hands on her hips and his warm, soft, lovely body pressing tight against hers almost made Margaux whimper out loud, and she shook the thoughts away, focusing back on the task at hand.

"You know, I was worried about your intentions with my brother at first."

Margaux raised her head, the muscles in her neck already beginning to burn from being bent over the engine but she tried to ignore it.

Calvin was watching her work closely but he was relaxed, much more at ease than she felt. He wasn't assessing her, just watching curiously. Just like his brother.

"He's not good with people. Well, he always seems to meet the wrong _kind_ of people. And when he came home talking about this girl he couldn't stop thinking about, I got kinda nervous cos…"

Calvin grew suddenly restless, straightening up, the wrench he held spinning between nervous fingers.

"He tell you about Paige?"

Margaux frowned, confused. She didn't recall Gardner ever mentioning anyone by that name. Unless… It was her. The 'she' they carefully tiptoed round.

"Not really," she said quietly, feeling her face start to heat up.

Margaux didn't know anything about this woman but any mention of her made her blood boil. She had mistreated _her_ friend, _her_ love, _her_ Gardner, that was all she needed to know. But with a tremendous jolt to her system, Marguax realised that she wasn't much better. The thought sank like a stone to the pit of her stomach.

Calvin twisted his mouth, clearly the memory was just as uncomfortable for him as it was for his brother.

"She was this lady he met on his route last summer. She had her own stuff going on, I guess, but she didn't treat him right. She was the wrong kind of people. Again."

He asked her for a torque wrench, something Gardner definitely would have struggled with, and beamed when she passed it over without hesitation.

"With her, everything was all kinda secretive and unsure, you know. But then, ha ha! The Lady In Red."

Calvin gestured to her grandly, but his smile faded when he realised that for the first time since he'd known her, Margaux wasn't wearing any red at all. It made him stop in his work, leaning against the car as he thought for a moment.

"Gardner never stops talking about you. And when he finally shuts his mouth, I know he's still thinking about you," Calvin said quietly. "And I thought, you must be different. You must be the right kind of person. _The_ person. Gardner's person." He smiled. "And I still think that."

Heart pounding, Margaux had to take in a deep breath before she dared to meet his gaze.

"Even…" She took in another shaky breath. "Even after..?"

"Well, yeah, I mean… Yeah."

Calvin laughed softly, not sure what else there was to say.

Margaux gave him a wobbly smile. She didn't want to cry again, she'd done enough of that, but all she'd wanted was Gardner's forgiveness, and his brother's. She couldn't have predicted the relief that would roll through her when she got it. The trust she'd worked so hard to forge was still there, just a tiny glowing ember, but alive.

"What makes you so sure?" she asked, though she almost dreaded the answer.

Calvin grinned.

"You asked if you could kiss him." He gave her a pointed look. " _She_ never did."

He reached up and closed the hood, brushing imaginary dust from his hands as he beamed at her, proud of their hard work.

Calvin. Calvin Benson. Gardner's family, who made sure he ate, encouraged him, stood by him, organising birthday parties and Christmas presents, getting Gardner a job when he lost his old one, understanding that it wasn't _just_ a job he'd lost and helping him stay strong, taking him in when his parents abandoned him, keeping him safe for all these years until Margaux came along, making sure he knew he was loved, and wanted, and important in a thousand tiny little ways. And now he was going to make everything better, she knew it.

Outside, the rain was starting to slow.

"So, why don't we finish up the rest of the jobs I've got to get through today," Calvin smiled, gentle, understanding, patient. "And you tell me what's wrong."


	14. Chapter 14

The first thing Gardner knew as he rose from sleep was the smell of breakfast cooking downstairs.

Calvin always got up early on Sundays to make waffles or pancakes, then spent the rest of the day focused on whatever it was he'd been dreaming about baking all week.

Gardner yawned, groaning softly as he reached up above his head and stretched. He let his arms fall heavily beside him again, turning his head and pressing his face into the pillow, sighing softly.

He didn't want to get up, he just wanted to stay in bed, the last safe place, and keep away from the world for a little while.

* * *

So confused by his own feelings, Gardner had felt numb for the last few days. He wasn't angry, not anymore, and he didn't think he felt any sense of betrayal, he knew what that felt like only too well. It was more than that, the raw ache in his chest. He just felt so _sad_ , he could hardly stand it.

If he _could_ be angry, it would be so easy. But he wasn't, not in the least, so Gardner was left missing the girl he loved more than anything, more than he'd ever missed anyone.

He'd let himself get comfortable only to have the rug pulled from under him, again. Gardner had got used to the feeling, the feeling of being wanted, of someone being excited to see him, talk to him, be with him, the feeling of someone caring about him as much as he cared about them, the feeling of being loved, and of loving in return.

And worst of all, it wasn't gone. There was no clean break, the rope hadn't been severed between them. He could still feel it all, feel her, Margaux. She was always on his mind, in every flash of red he saw, her hands on his face, in his hair, her body against his, her lips on his skin, her sweet words all around him, and worst of all, worst of all, he didn't want it to stop.

Gardner dragged his hands down his face, just trying to summon the energy to get out of bed.

Then suddenly, cutting through the peaceful morning air, music, music so loud it made his heart stumble.

 _'We had a quarrel, a lover's spat. I write 'I'm sorry' but my letter keeps coming back.'_

Gardner tumbled out of bed, tripped over the sheets tangled around his legs, and fell flat on his face.

 _'So then I dropped it in the mailbox and sent it special D, bright and early next morning, it came right back to me. She wrote upon it: return to sender, address unknown…'_

Groaning, he rolled over onto his back, rubbing his thankfully unbroken nose. He lay there for a moment, waiting for the world to stop spinning, until Calvin called for him, somehow managing to shout above the music.

"Gardner!"

His brother sounded excited, he could practically hear the smile in his voice.

"Your girlfriend is out on the lawn!"

That was unexpected, to say the least. Gardner whispered a quiet _'what_?' to himself as he untangled himself from his sheets.

He staggered towards the window, blearily pulling back the curtain. Bright sunlight blinded him. Gardner hissed through his teeth, blinking away the spots in his vision until the front lawn came into focus and he could see the source of the loud music.

Margaux. She was standing on the grass, her little stereo resting on her shoulder.

 _'This time, I'm gonna take it myself and put it right in her hand, and if it comes back the very next day, then I'll understand the writing on it…'_

Gardner could hardly believe what he was seeing. He pressed close to the window, squinting against the glare from the morning sun, wondering if perhaps he was still dreaming. But no, there she was, the lady in red.

Except that she wasn't. That couldn't be right. Even if it was something small, Margaux always had something red on her. There'd been many times when he thought she'd forgone her signature colour only for her to turn around and have a red tie in her hair, or red socks, earrings, always something. Maybe he _was_ dreaming.

"You better go talk to her! I can't have Mrs. Krzyzos over here again complaining about the noise!"

That cleared that up. This couldn't possibly be a dream, otherwise Calvin wouldn't be yelling at him or threatening the wrath of their nosy next-door neighbour.

Gardner sighed and blearily stumbled down the stairs to find out what on earth was going on.

Just as he predicted, Calvin was cooking in the kitchen, but he ignored his brother and headed straight for the front door.

The morning air was fresh and clear, the sunlight immediately warming his skin. Barefoot and confused beyond belief, Gardner stood on his doorstep and stared at the girl who ruled his every waking thought.

Margaux couldn't have predicted how her hard heart would lurch when she saw him again. It had only been a few days, but she'd missed him so terribly, her whole body ached to be close to him again.

She let herself enjoy the sight of him in his pyjamas, a pair of shorts and an old t-shirt, before she finally turned the music down.

"Nice legs," she said, hoping to make him smile, but Gardner remained as stoic as the day they met.

There seemed a broader distance between them now than ever before. With a horrible, crushing wrench, Margaux realised they were back to the beginning again, back before there was trust, and laughter, and love, back to being strangers.

Margaux saw that he still looked somewhat bewildered and patted her stereo.

" _'Say Anything'_."

Gardner blinked.

"Anything?"

Margaux laughed softly, shaking her head.

"The film? John Cusack? He sweeps glass out of the way for her? They kiss in the back of his car and it's the single hottest kiss in film history?"

Gardner sighed, bleary and still disoriented from his fall.

"What do you want, Margaux?"

The annoyance in his voice struck her. She felt shame creep over her skin, making her face heat up. She never thought she'd hear him say her name with such venom.

"Can I come in?" Margaux nervously swung her stereo from one hand to the other. "I wanted to talk to you about, um…"

She stopped when Calvin appeared in the doorway behind his brother, wearing a dressing gown and waving at her with a spatula.

"Hey, Margaux!"

He smiled at her cheerily, as if nothing were amiss at all.

Margaux gave him a weak smile and walked closer to the house, glancing awkwardly between him and Gardner, who looked desperately exasperated.

"Hi, Cal."

Calvin beamed.

"You wanna have breakfast with us? I made waffles?"

Through his uneasiness, Gardner didn't miss the pained edge to Margaux's smile.

"Not today. Thanks, though."

She looked back at Gardner, chewing her lip as she waited for Calvin to go back inside. When it was just the two of them again, the tension flooded back, and the distance between them felt wider than ever despite him being so close, within touching distance, _god_ , she just wanted to touch him again.

He was watching her. She'd always known Gardner was observant but she'd never felt _observed_ before. His hazel eyes were still so warm, and so pretty in the sunlight, but they seemed to see straight through her now. He was wary, guarded, but thankfully, he didn't seem angry. It gave her the courage she needed to ask,

"Is there somewhere quiet we could go?"

Gardner knew he didn't have to let her in. He knew he didn't have to talk to Margaux if he didn't want to. He could very easily turn around and walk back indoors where it was safe and his worried heart could stop pounding. He could. He could. But he didn't.

"Horseshoes."

Margaux blinked. It was her turn to feel bewildered.

"What?"

"I never taught you how to play."

Gardner nodded, happy with his decision, and gestured for her to follow him inside.

"Come on."

Margaux stood on the doorstep, surprised, perplexed, and unfortunately, a tiny bit hopeful. She tried to dampen that spark, she couldn't get ahead of herself. He'd only agreed to talk to her, it was hardly a warm hug. Still, Margaux's heart felt a few ounces lighter as she stepped inside and followed Gardner through the house, and out into the garden, leaving her stereo on the kitchen table,

He showed her where to stand, pressing two blue horseshoes into her hand without meeting her eyes. He seemed to make sure that his fingers didn't brush hers, a thought that made Margaux want to cry.

He explained the rules in a quiet voice. They were far more complicated than Margaux expected, it looked so easy when she'd seen others play, but she was too nervous to ask Gardner to explain them again.

"S'pose I'll just chuck it and hope," she said with a hollow laugh.

At last, Gardner smiled. It was more of a twitch, just at the corner of his mouth, his lovely mouth, but it was something.

"You'll do great," Gardner said quietly.

He gave her another almost-smile then looked away again.

"What did you want to tell me?" he asked, moving to stand opposite her, fidgeting with his own horseshoes, swinging them between his fingers.

"I came to apologise." Margaux cleared her throat when her voice came out a little strained. "And to tell you that I miss you. And to explain. Not necessarily in that order."

She threw a horseshoe. It clanged against the stake and glanced off. Margaux miserably watched it settle, then looked up to find Gardner already looking at her.

He nodded, then took a small step forward and threw his first horseshoe.

"Go on."

The stake chimed brightly as the horseshoe span around it a few times, then landed neatly. She knew that meant he'd earned a few points but right now, her mind was so far from the game, she barely noticed.

Calvin was the first, the first to learn this part of her. When he sat her down and gently coaxed her into explaining what had gone wrong between her and his brother, she didn't expect the words to come tumbling from her quite so easily.

Even her family in Austin didn't know all of it, or her family back home. Margaux had kept it all inside, pushing it down further and further until finally, the pressure grew too much, and a gentle, kind word was all it took for the dam to break, and thoughts and feelings she'd kept locked away for years were finally spoken out loud.

Calvin sat and listened carefully, never interrupting, not asking a single question. He just let her speak until the words ran out and she was exhausted, the tears streaming down her face mixing with the raindrops that still clung to her skin.

Margaux and Calvin sat in silence for a few moments afterwards until he pulled her into a tight hug and held her while her shoulders shook, her tears all gone but her heart still in pieces. When she was done, he told her that everything was going to be alright, they could fix this, and told her to come over to their house as soon as she was ready.

Telling Gardner would be a whole other experience entirely. Margaux knew that, she supposed his brother did too.

Letting people in, letting people get close, it was terrifying. And letting herself feel, _really_ feel for the first time in months, years even, it was almost too much to bear.

Margaux was so frightened of her own emotions, frightened that they'd overwhelm her if she acknowledged them, even for a second. But she'd come to learn, through Calvin, through his kindness, that people come to help because of sadness, and it wasn't something she should be afraid of anymore.

Now she'd said it out loud, it wasn't quite so terrifying, and the fear that kept her awake at night, it was quieter now. Gardner already looked at her like a stranger, what more did she have to lose?

"My, um... My parents always worried about me. This might surprise you, but I haven't always taken life too seriously."

Margaux tried to crack a smile but it flickered and died like a low flame. She threw another horseshoe and it landed closer, but still no points.

"They wanted me to, um… To focus on something, anything really, rather than just floating through life. And I used to hate it. I felt like they only ever talked to me to have a go at me. And whenever I saw them, we'd just argue and argue and it got worse and worse… So I left."

Margaux saw Gardner's forehead crease with a frown. She noticed he hadn't thrown his last horseshoe. He was listening, waiting for her to keep going. She took a deep breath and tried her best to hold his gaze.

"I really did move in with my aunt when I was nineteen. I got a job in a shop, I even went to a few classes at the community college, I got my own house, and I thought... _Now_ they'll see. _Now_ they'll see that I can make something of myself, that I'm not a layabout. I was so proud that I'd proved them wrong."

She felt her smile fade.

"And then three years ago, it was a Thursday, my parents were driving home in the rain and..." Margaux shook her head. "Stupidest thing in the world."

The silence that came next was unbearable.

Gardner's face fell, his shoulders sinking. His mouth opened, almost like he wanted to say something, but whatever it was got lost along the way.

Margaux was relieved. She didn't want pity, or kind words, she just wanted to tell the truth, to look Gardner in the eye and explain. But his crestfallen expression made her chest so tight that Margaux choked on her next words.

"I never got the chance to speak to them. I never got to tell them that I'm sorry. I couldn't bear the thought of going home." She grimaced. "I still haven't been back."

And with that, the last piece clicked into place, and everything made sense. The reason why Margaux's house had no photos in it, the reason she was so distant from her family and in contrast, so open and caring with her clients, why she never talked about home, and her reaction when he talked about his own parents.

The tension between them snapped in two, and suddenly all Gardner wanted was to hold her, to reassure her and love her and let her know she was safe, but he didn't, couldn't, he felt fixed to the spot, and then Margaux's face scrunched up, like she was trying desperately not to cry, and it made the ache in his chest so awful that he almost doubled over in pain.

"And then a week after they... I was in the supermarket, and I just- I saw this torch, this stupid two dollar keychain torch... And I took it. Felt like the most important thing in the world at the time."

Margaux sucked in a long breath, trying to calm her racing heart. Her face felt hot with shame. She was talking quickly, just trying to get it all out and over with, and she wasn't sure if she was even making sense anymore. All Margaux knew was that having Gardner this close and being unable to touch him was an almost unimaginable torture, and it made baring her tattered soul all the more painful.

"But then it started getting worse, this feeling." Her voice cracked but she kept going. "And the things I took got bigger: a pair of shoes, a mirror… A map. And I felt awful about every single thing I stole - I still do - but I don't know what to do with them all, so I just hide them away. They're all labelled, who I took them from, and where. They just sit there, like your letters, waiting to be sent. I just-"

Margaux brushed her fingers against the tip of her nose, and if Gardner weren't so heartbroken, it might've made him smile. It was a habit of hers that he'd noticed, just one of the many hundreds of tiny things he adored about her, and it was almost a relief to see it, to know she was the same Margaux.

"Sometimes I feel a bit... Displaced?" She gave him a weak smile. "All over the place. Too many parts. And it's the only thing I can't fix."

She watched as Gardner started to swing his final horseshoe between his long fingers, his mouth twisted in thought. Margaux loved that look. It still made her heart flutter, even now, but instead of excitement and an affection she'd never known before, she felt only worry as she waited for Gardner's verdict.

When he didn't say anything, Margaux sighed. She hadn't expected him to sweep her up into his arms and forgive her, she understood that it was a lot to take in, and Gardner must have been so confused when he found his map, something he treasured so dearly, in her home, amongst an eclectic array of other objects.

She'd always struggled with being patient, but some things took time to mend, and Gardner, Gardner was more than worth the wait.

"I'm sorry for taking your map. And I'm sorry for not telling you about… Everything."

She glanced back at the house. Calvin was pressed up against the window in the back door but he jumped and turned away when she caught his gaze, hurrying back to the stove where breakfast was still cooking.

"I should go," Margaux said quietly. "Leave you and your brother alone."

She made to leave but at the last moment, Margaux felt a stab of bravery. She crossed the grass, stopping right in front of Gardner, the closest they'd been in days. Slowly, she reached up, her hand hovering by his cheek, as if waiting for permission.

Gardner didn't say anything but his hazel eyes met hers and before she could convince herself it was a mistake, Margaux held his soft cheek and stood on her toes to kiss the other.

Gardner's heart felt like it might pound out of his chest, the way it always did when Margaux was close. He closed his eyes, trying to sear the feeling of her lips against his skin onto his memory forever, her scent, her warmth, her touch, before it was gone again, just a brief shadow.

There were tears in Margaux's eyes as she pulled away. Just being this close to him again was overwhelming but unlike every time they'd touched before, Gardner hadn't leaned into her, and it tore her heart in two.

Keeping her gaze on the ground, Margaux murmured,

"Bye, Gard."

Gardner watched her leave, ignoring every part of him that ached to follow her. He waited for the front door to close before he went back inside, head spinning with all that she'd told him.

He thought there must be a part of Margaux that worried about losing him, the way she'd lost her parents, and her first home. Gardner understood, he'd lost too.

Collecting things the way she did, from people she cared about, it must be a souvenir, a contingency just in case she lost them as well. But then, Gardner supposed, in the end, it didn't matter why Margaux did what she did. She was his best friend.

"What're you gonna do?"

He looked up. Calvin was watching him, the spatula he was using clutched in nervous hands.

Gardner opened his mouth, closed it again, then sighed, shaking his head.

"Calvin, she…"

He looked away, pressing his lips together, just trying to order his nebulous feelings.

What _was_ he going to do? Gardner had lost, and lost, and lost, time and time again, and for once, a good thing in his life, perhaps the best thing, wanted him as much as he wanted her. For once, Gardner knew exactly what he wanted.

"She's the most wonderful person I know," Gardner said. "She's so smart, there's not a thing she doesn't know. And she's the prettiest girl I've ever seen, she's so, so beautiful. And when I'm with her, it's like all the clocks have stopped. Time stands still and speeds up all at once, and I don't know if I'm coming or going… And I'm happy. She makes me so happy, Cal."

Gardner realised he was smiling, smiling properly, smiling for the first time in days.

Calvin was smiling too,

"Sounds like you've made up your mind," he said, turning back to the stove.

Gardner watched him for a moment. His brother was the picture of innocence.

"You asked her to come over, didn't you?"

Calvin shrugged, his characteristic over-exaggerated movements meaning he almost flung one of the waffles over his shoulder.

"She needs our help! And after all she's done for you, looked after you, who am I to say no?"

A plate was shoved into his hand, stacked high with waffles, and a small pot of syrup into the other. Gardner felt warmth fill his chest. No matter what happened, his brother was always there for him.

He thought about that little boy sat alone in a big house, waiting for his family to come back. Little did he know they were waiting for him, just down the block, and he wasn't lost that day, but found.

"Love you, man."

"Love you too, Cal.

/

The next evening, Margaux was sat in her living room, cup of tea in hand, trying and failing to get into a book she'd been promising herself she'd read for almost a year.

She didn't look up when the garden gate swung open, even though it was late and she wasn't expecting anyone. She barely even registered the sound until there was a knock at the door.

She suspected her cousin had come to check on her. Though Margaux rarely spoke to her family without being corralled into it, she had a feeling Gabriel could tell that something had happened, He was annoying like that; he always knew when something was wrong.

Margaux pulled open the door with a sigh, preparing to tell her cousin that she was _fine_ , that he should go _home_ and leave her in _peace_ , but the man on her doorstep was shorter, softer, and always, always made her heart skip, even now.

"Gardner," she breathed.

He gave her a tentative smile. He was holding a small pile of clothes and sat on top was a small loaf cake, tied up with a red ribbon.

"I watched ' _Say Anything_ '," Gardner said. "It was good."

Margaux blinked, stunned. She opened the door a little wider, stumbling over her words for a moment until she found enough sense to ask,

"What are you doing here?"

Gardner's smile grew, just a little, but it made his cheeks bunch up, and that familiar light was back in his eyes. Margaux almost sighed to see it again.

"Here."

He gave her the clothes. She realised it was the pyjamas she lent him the night he fell off his boat, washed and carefully folded. Margaux took them gingerly, half afraid that if they touched, her heart might give up altogether.

There was a note attached to the cake, in what she thought must be Calvin's messy handwriting.

 _'Banana and peanut butter cake! Maybe share it with Gardner!'_

It made her smile.

"Calvin said you've stopped fixing things."

Margaux looked up, her smile disappearing. Gardner had stuffed his hands in his pockets, the way he always did when he was nervous. She hadn't seen him do it in a while, a thought that made her feel even worse.

"My parents were right, I need to grow up, get a real job. Turns out I'm just as much a disappointment as they thought I'd be."

She gave Gardner a pained smile that he didn't return. In fact, his shoulders sank, and he looked like he wanted to argue, so she quickly changed the subject.

"Look, Gardner, it's really nice to see you but looking at you makes me want to burst into tears, so-"

"You wrote down where you took them from."

Margaux frowned.

"What?"

"You said, you wrote down where you took everything from."

"Yes?"

"I have an idea," he said with a forthright little nod. "I'll see you here tomorrow. Usual time."

And just like that, he was gone again, marching back down the garden into the summer night without a backwards glance, as if nothing had changed.

Margaux watched him walk away until he disappeared around the corner, her mouth hanging open. When she finally gathered enough sense to go back inside, she had to lean against the door for a moment, trying to wrap her head around what had just happened.

Her grip on the clothes slipped a little, Margaux nearly dropped them but caught them just in time. She breathed a little sigh of relief, her relationship with those boys was tenuous enough as it is, she didn't want to ruin one of Calvin's creations.

Something slipped out from between the clothes, landing softly at her feet. Frowning, Margaux bent down and carefully picked it up. It was a photo, one that Calvin took of her and Gardner that day.

She sank down onto the sofa, holding it by its edges so as not to smudge the glossy finish. Gardner was beaming as she held his face and kissed his cheek, just as she had done today. Margaux's heart clenched as she gently traced her finger over her own bright smile, captured forever.

Tomorrow. He was coming back tomorrow. Gardner had an idea. He was going to help her, he was going to fix everything.

Margaux's chest swelled as she walked to the mantelpiece and settled the photo there, the first and only family photo in her house that now, perhaps, might become a home.


End file.
